AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter Thirty-Three
Malcolm
We watch the sun rise together.
Nala is between my legs, her back to my front, my arms circled around her, shielding her from the wind that seems hell bent on whipping around us today. But the cold doesn’t touch me, not when she’s here, in my arms, with no secrets between us anymore. I feel like I’ve waited my entire life for this moment.
“I don’t want to let you go.”
I hold her tighter when she snuggles even farther back, and I realize the enormity of the truth I just spoke. I don’t want to let her go—not just right now, but ever. Nala, she’s it for me, the person who makes breathing and living easier. Whether or not we’ll be together isn’t what I’m talking about either. Both of us knew the day we slept together that we were crossing a line we would never come back from. No, it’s much more than being together. It’s making promises, seeing each other every day, sharing a life together in a way that Jacks is starting with Isa, and one that I know Brooklyn’s thought of with Jordan—even if he’s trying to be patient because she’s only nineteen.
It means not disappearing on tour for months on end, but staying here, and finding a life that we can both be a part of, together.
“Nala…” I say her name but then I stop, because I don’t know how to phrase the question I want to ask her. Marry me? Move in with me? Live with me for the rest of your life so I can love you every day? All of the above?
She saves me by turning around and cupping my cheeks in her hands. “I’m right here.” Then she lays her lips on mine, and everything settles again.
“It’s enough for now,” I think, holding her when she changes the angle of the kiss. She and I, right here in this moment, together, it’s enough until I figure out how to ask for the rest.
Nala’s mouth is hungry, her tongue seeking out to battle with mine. I let her take the lead, keeping my hands gentle at her waist, not engaging in any of the pushing or pulling I normally do. It’s not because I’m turned off by her…and not because I think she’s damaged. It’s more that I don’t want to scare her, that I don’t ever want her to look at me, or be with me, to feel me, and feel anything other than fucking bliss.
When she pulls back, her eyes are cloudy, and her lips are wet. My dick hardens to the point of pain, but I just smile and smooth her hair off her face.
“Do you have group today?” She nods. “I could take you, drop you off and maybe try a little paddling of my own.”
“I do have a garbage bag in my Jeep,” she says. “But maybe today isn’t the best day. I don’t want Liza to be embarrassed or ashamed. If she sees you, as great as you were…”
“It might make her feel self-conscious.”
Nala shrugs. “There’s no telling. I just want things to be as normal as possible today, so if she’s there, she can depend on the routine.”
I nod. “Tonight?”
“Can we raincheck? Jordan and I are supposed to go to Isa’s last dress fitting with her.”
The slice of disappointment is sharp, but I stem it immediately and give her a smile. It’s not like I don’t have things to do myself, I just…shit, I just don’t want to be without her. Ever.
I am so fucked.
Promising myself I won’t say another thing, I let her stand, and then drag me to my feet, throwing my arm around her shoulders and walking her to her Jeep. When we get there, she turns to me, a seductive smile on those lips before she wraps her arms around my neck and plunders my mouth with hers again. The way she arches into me, pressing all of her gentle curves against me, has my body on fire. I’m two moves away from lifting her by the ass and pinning her to the side of her vehicle—to grind up on her and release some of this ache—when a flash of her words from last night comes back to me.
Instead of pushing her, I gentle my hold, changing the kiss until it’s softer, sweeter. When we pull away, I press my lips to her brow and step back, opening the Jeep door for her. The look she gives me is half amused, half concerned, but she jumps in because she has to go.
“Call me?” I say, and feel like a fucking pussy. I’ve never asked a girl to call me in my entire life, not since that night on the beach when she was twelve, and all I could think of was saving her from the darkness of the world. Now, I’ve proven I can’t save her, but I still need her to call me and let me try.
She leans over and places her lips on mine, leading with her teeth when she pulls away again. I’m on edge, needing relief that I can’t have from her, not yet. “See you.”
She whips out of the parking lot, the Jeep careening around corners and over speed bumps, and I stay where I am, breathing through the achy need that’s settled over me, watching until I can no longer see her.
And then I pull out my phone and swipe open my browser, pulling up the information I found last night. The last thing I asked Brooks was simple:Who?
He didn’t have it all, only a first name and the fact that the kid when to San Diego State, but it was enough. Two hours of having an old friend dig and I got my name.Ezra Shields. Third generation Financier, currently living in Encinitas, California, and working as a drone at his daddy’s company. A little more digging showed that old Ezra wasn’t as smart as daddy wanted, or as controlled, and some settlement money had already been paid over the years. Fuck. That.
Still, as much as I want to go to this guy and show him what it means to be the victim, I hesitate for one second, wondering if I’m really ready to keep another secret from Nala after everything we’ve been through to now.
I don’t even want you to think about him, or even acknowledge that it happened.
I love Nala to the point of pain, but I can’t let this go. Images of every woman my father ever dated, images of Kat and Natalie, of me when I was growing up, explode through my brain until it’s Nala at the forefront—not even thirteen, and crying on my shoulder because she already knew what it was to hurt, to be rejected, to be set aside and forgotten.
