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CHAPTER 16
Addisyn breathed asigh of relief when she finally heard Brian’s indignant footfalls stomping down the hall toward the elevator. Creeper, loitering outside her hotel door. She permitted herself a wry smile. She was familiar enough with Brian’s character that she hadn’t expected anything less.
Now it was time to try to collect her scattered thoughts, gathering them like bouquets tossed onto the ice rink by admiring fans.
She nibbled on a hangnail as she forced herself to face the encounter with total honesty. She had to admit, she’d been impressed by the offer. More than impressed—astounded. And, despite her best efforts to remain wary, she was forced to acknowledge that she’d been touched by Brian’s dedication to find her. Add to that the fact that he’d gone to all the trouble of securing this amazing Team Unlimited business for her. Plus, he’d been fairly well-behaved during their exchange, even though Addisyn’s refusal had to have driven him insane. Okay, so maybe he’d gotten a little excited once or twice, but that was just the intensity of his enthusiasm over Team Unlimited, right?
She shook her head hard, confused and more than a little annoyed with herself. What was her problem? This was a Disney-style moment. Her Prince Charming had returned to whisk her away in a pumpkin coach—okay, a passenger jet—to the life of her dreams.
Hadn’t she dreamed of this? During lonely nights in Whistler, hadn’t she fantasized of what would happen if Brian came to his senses, begged her forgiveness, and ushered her back into the skating scene? And now...here it was, within reach. And she wasn’t making a move to grab it.
Addisyn slowly wandered toward the bed, deep in her thoughts. She perched herself in the exact spot where Brian had sat. She hadn’t forgotten how handsome he was, but seeing him in real life reminded her of all the reasons she’d once found him dazzling. He was sophisticated, successful, charming, and had the heart-stopping looks of a movie star. Maybe he’d learned his lesson, after that Valentine’s party.
But thinking of that night brought back the image of Brian, standing there screaming, shaking her in his vice-like grip. Backstabbing her with Marty Moorehouse and then smearing her most precious dream in the mud.
No.She sat up and folded her arms. No matter how nice Brian seemed now, she just couldn’t trust him.
But the thought felt uncomfortable, as though it didn’t quite fit, and her mind swung, pendulumlike, in his favor again. After all, was it fair to send him away without a chance to earn her respect again? If he was truly sorry...and the Team Unlimited offer, wow! It seemed rather ungrateful to slam the door of her soul in the face of a man who’d done so much for her—especially when she’d once called that man the love of her life.
Addisyn nibbled more frantically than ever on the hangnail as her thoughts gathered speed. She had loved him—hadn’t she? She’d been over the moon when he first started lavishing his attention on her, singling her out from among all the other girls. Just the sight of him had sent chills up her spine. She knew the other skaters thought she was born under a lucky star, with such a perfect knight in shining armor ready to sweep her off her feet.
Addisyn swallowed hard. Yeah, she’d thought enough of him that she’d done more than simply accept his affections.
She’d traded her sister for him.
But now...now the nights spent together in his townhouse just made her feel used and dirty. She recoiled from the thought of how his eyes had scanned her body just now. It made her feel cheap, somehow.“Baby, you’re gorgeous.”Was it a compliment? Or an innuendo?
Desire and fear, repulsion and attraction, were all swirled together in her mind. The thin walls of the hotel room felt as though they were caving in on her soul. She glanced out the window, where the rain was still falling, then at the clock. 8:03 p.m. Less than twenty-four hours before she was supposed to give Brian her final decision. Less than a single day to make a choice that would change her whole life. Forever.
She couldn’t think anymore in the room. She donned a thick sweater—the rain had made the air cool—and then slunk down the back stairway of the hotel. Brian was somewhere in Whistler, and who knew where. Knowing his persistence, he could even be in the hotel lobby. He was probably waiting for her to come running to find him, slobbering over his Team Unlimited offer.
Addisyn took a deep breath as she pushed open the door. The cool, fresh air seemed to sharpen her senses but calm her soul at the same time. Maybe if her feet were moving, her brain would start doing the same, instead of freezing up into a logjam.
She shook her head, wondering again why she couldn’t have said yes. Why she hadn’t squealed and screamed with joy and jumped on the chance to go to the Olympics, after thinking her dream was dead. What was holding her in Whistler? What part of her had urged her to wait?
The humidity was incredible tonight. Addisyn blinked hard—tiny particles of mist were settling on her eyelashes. She could see her breath, a poufy cloud around her mouth.
That same cloud seemed to be hovering in her mind. Why couldn’t she get a grip on her thoughts?
Without warning, Avery’s face appeared once more in her mind—tender, loving, with the strength of a woman who had fought with wild beasts of the soul and come out victorious. Addisyn lowered her head. She’d often complained about Avery’s advice-giving, but now she wished she could have access to some of her sister’s wisdom again. Avery would know exactly what to do in a situation like this. Between her salt-of-the-earth good sense and her uncanny intuition, Avery was never at a loss in any situation—at least, Addisyn had never seen her wandering in bewilderment.
Not to mention her strong faith in God.
Addisyn passed a restaurant that was still open. She glanced through the window briefly, watching the couples tucked confidentially around tables with a soft ambient light.
God. Hmm. She thought about her own prayer. Had God answered that by sending Brian? Somehow, Brian and God just didn’t fit together in her mind. Was God trying to force her into a decision? Was He testing her and sitting back to watch her performance? Shame turned Addisyn’s stomach. If God had been laying tests before Addisyn Miles, she’d probably failed every single one.
She realized that this afternoon was the first time in years she’d asked God for anything. She didn’t even know if they were still on speaking terms. But on this dark night, suddenly she didn’t want to just do what she thought would make her happy. She wanted to do the right thing. God’s thing. The thing that Avery would tell her to do—and not just because Avery was making her do it.
With a magnetism she couldn’t stifle, her soul swung to Darius. She needed him more than ever. Needed his strong support, his upright soul. She needed to sit somewhere and look into his gentle eyes and tell him everything. The skating—the failures—even Brian. She needed his advice, his understanding.
Slowly, like the sun peeking over the rim of the mountains, she began to see the truth forming. There was no one else who could hold her whole heart in his hands. Who could see into the depths of her soul and stir the deep parts of her spirit.
There was no one else with his blue-green eyes, filled with light, or his quirky lopsided grin. There was no one else that she—
Addisyn could feel her heart pounding. Wasn’t it time for her to face the truth about her feelings, quit playing games in her mind?
“Okay.” She whispered the word into the darkness, watching the night swallow her voice and keep her secret. “I—I love Darius Payne.”
