Page 40 of I'm Not in Love


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CHAPTER16

Tristan

“Now that Tara is working, I don’t have to support the entire Wilder household all by myself.”

Most nights, I sleep at the apartment because Tara’s job can be intense, and if the kids require attention, I need to be there to give it. Tonight, though, she’s off work. She and Dacia are taking the kids to a movie, and I’m spending the night at Remi’s loft. It feels like a holiday.

“What does that mean for you?” Remi hands me another bottle of fancy beer and sits on the couch close beside me.

“I don’t have to take as many modeling jobs, which leaves time in my schedule to substitute teach at the preschool on the west side of Brentwood Village—it’s called Kid Castle.”

“Teaching at the preschool isn’t as lucrative as modeling, right?”

“Right. Now that Tara is making decent money—thanks to you—I don’t need to bring in as much.”

“She’s the one who is working her ass off to make an outstanding impression on her superiors in the company.”

“Tara and I weren’t born with silver spoons anywhere near us, but each of us has a strong work ethic.” I lean in and kiss Remi’s cheek, then I turn sideways on the sectional, flop against his broad chest, and stretch out my legs. “Teaching is what I want to do for a career. My ideal job is as a kindergarten teacher at a public school but working at the preschool gives me experience. I’ve created a hundred lesson plans I want to try out.”

“Have you put in an application at the preschool?”

“Sure did. I went over to Kid Castle this week. Already heard back from them too. Sounds like they need all the help they can get, so after the background check, I’ll be in.”

“What about going to school? To be a kindergarten teacher, you need a bachelor’s degree.”

I sigh. “I can’t swing that expense yet. But if Tara’s job works out, maybe I can take a class at the community college next semester.”

Remi grasps my shoulders and twists me around, so I’ll face him. His gaze is nothing short of piercing. “Let me pay for your classes and—”

“No.” I place my hands on top of his. “You are incredibly generous, but I need to build my own future. And I’ll get it done… in my own good time.”

“I-I have more money than I know what to do with.” He doesn’t appear ready to let the subject drop. “Just think about it, Tristan.”

But I will not consider accepting Remi’s money so I can take classes. He does enough for the Wilder family, as it is. “The bonus is, Kid Castle will let me take Wendy to the preschool on the days I work.”

“She’ll love that.” Remi grins, letting me off the hook. “I have a feeling you’ll be taking a stuffed animal or two to Kid Castle along with your niece.”

He’s right. “I’m supposed to be working in the four-year-old room this Thursday.”

“You have no modeling jobs that day?”

“Nope. I’m working at Bellemont University on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Life drawing and watercolor—four classes each day.”

Remi glances out the window. “I don’t like the whole world gawking at… all of you.”

“You know better than anyone that life drawing isn’t pornography.”

“True.” He sighs. “But I wish you were a fulltime teacher already.”

I stand and pull Remi from the couch, so we’re standing and facing one another. “I do too, but not so I don’t have to take my clothes off in public. I made my peace with that—I work for artists who see my body as the subject of their expression.”

“Santini saw you as a sex object,” Remi counters.

“Maybe you saw me that way too, at least on the first day I modeled for your class. And many artists probably recognize an attraction to me, but I conduct myself professionally… and most artists do too.”

“Most.”

“I can’t change the world. I can only respond to it with proper decorum.”

“I suppose,” he allows.

“I hope you’ll focus on how happy I am that I get to teach again, even if it’s only every now and then.”

Remi pulls me into his arms. There’s nothing like a hug from him, but right now, I can literally feel his struggle with surrender. Trying to hold back his concern and… affection, he huffs and then stiffens. But when he finally submits to the power of his emotions, it’s complete.

“You’re happy for me, I can tell.”

Another sigh, this one less pained. “You’re right. I am.”

* * *

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