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I snarl at him, “What did you think, I would move on? I would be living out here in luxury while you were dying in there, dealing with god knows what?”
“I thought you were living your life, Arlo, fuck.” Reese runs his hands through that dark hair, his eyes wild. “This is a waste of your time. All of it.”
I shake my head. “You’re not a waste of time, Reese.”
“I am to everyone else,” Reese mutters.
I stride forward and grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at me. “You’re not a waste to me, Reese. You never were. You get that, right? What happened between us… what I did to you… the fuckingbetrayalof that… I am never going to get over that. I’m never going to let it go.”
“You should have,” Reese says quietly. “This place…” He shakes his head. “Omegas can’t live like this, Arlo. You need comfort. Safety. You must have been suffering every damn day.”
He’s not wrong. Being in this place, day after day, it hurt me. My gut would twist and turn every night. I would shiver, shake… it was hard. I tried to build nests here, but without Reese’s scent, without anything to comfort me… “The drugs took the edge off,” I say thickly. And they did. They helped when the spike house couldn’t. When the feral alphas just reminded me of Reese and what I wanted; what I couldn’t have.
I shake my head to clear it. “We’re here to figure out what to do about Haven,” I say.
He runs his hand through his hair. “Is there really anything to be done about her?”
“What does that mean?”
“It means… maybe she’s better off. That show, they get decent packs for it. She’ll have some good alphas to choose from.”
“You’re a good alpha. And you’re the one she wants. Haven is ours. We can’t give her up without a fight.”
Reese scrubs his hand over his face.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
“I’m thinking that there’s no way in hell a fucking feral alpha gets to keep two omegas,” he snaps.
I blink at him. “Keep?”
“Yeah. Keep. As in care for. Defend. Comfort. There’s no way I get both of you. Or either of you. And if it weren’t bad enough that I’m feral, I’m a fucking felon. I’ll never get a decent job. Never get anyone’s respect or support. I’ll never have a dime to my name, let alone what you deserve.”
I shake my head. “No one’s asking you for money.”
“You don’t need to ask. It’s what you deserve. You should be up in that mansion with fucking Haven right now, getting pampered and spoiled and romanced. Not living in this… this place.” He gestures to my squalid apartment.
“Typical alpha, thinking you get to decide what’s good for me or Haven. It’s not up to you, Reese. If we want to choose you, we’ll choose you. It’s not your responsibility to make everything right all the time.”
Quick as a flash, Reese grabs me and hauls me against him. He walks us to the bed and throws me down. “Let’s get one thing straight, Arlo,” he snarls. “You may not be mine, but youaremy responsibility. This shit,” he gestures to the room around us, “It’s over. You’re done punishing yourself for what happened, do you get me?”
I stare up at him, overwhelmed by the power of him; the way he smells, the way he looks… I swallow hard, trying not to read into his words. “Does this mean you forgive me?”
Reese hesitates for a moment before answering, “It means there’s nothing to forgive.”
I shake my head. “That’s not true. Everything that happened to you, it’s on me.”
His expression gentles, though his grip doesn’t ease. “It’s not on you, Arlo. None of it. Christ, all these years I thought…” He sighs. “Nothing that happened to me was your fault. You didn’t even name me, honey.”
At the endearment, a strange sound escapes me; a sound that reminds me of an omega whimper. Reese freezes above me, his eyes arrowing into mine.
“You like that, when I call you honey?”
I nod, unable to trust my voice.
Reese smiles, his dark eyes crinkling boyishly. When he smiles like that, I can still see the Reese of our childhood; the boy I fell in love with. But then he rocks against me, his cock hard and ready, and I’m out of the past, and very much back in the moment. His mouth crashes down on mine, and I’m lost.
Chapter Twenty-two
