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“What was he like when he was young?”
“Serious,” Arlo says softly. “Loyal. A lot like he is now. He never thought much of himself, even before he got thrown in jail.”
My heart aches for him, and for us.
“Are we gonna be alright without him?” Arlo asks.
I tilt my head back to look at him. “We’ll have to be, I guess.”
Arlo smiles down at me. “We’ll make our own pack. Just us. Or you can choose someone from these packs, if you want.”
I’m so startled that I pop my head up and bump his chin. “Sorry,” I say. “What do you mean, if I want?”
Arlo shrugs. “You’ve gotten to know them a little, right?”
“I mean, only a very little.”
“I just mean, if you want to pack up, I’ll come with you.” His eyes take on a little vulnerability as he ducks his head. “That is, if you want me to.”
“Of course I want you to,” I scoff. I snuggle closer, trying my best to handle the swirling of emotions in my chest. I’m so confused; heartbroken and healed at the same time.
There’s a knock at the door and Beatrice shouts through. “Hey lovebirds, it’s showtime!”
“Fuck,” Arlo groans, letting me go and rolling out of our nest. I watch as he pulls on his jeans from yesterday and the same shirt. He pulls his hair back in an elastic he picks up from somewhere on the floor and ties his hair back.
“How do you look so beautiful after doing nothing at all?” I groan.
Arlo turns and grins at me. “I could ask you the same thing.”
I grin up at him, and consider whether or not we have time to mess around a little before it’s time to get going, but Beatrice pounds on the door again. “Now, you idiots! Or Jenn is going to see you sneaking out!”
Arlo leans down and gives me a kiss. “Rose ceremony and then we’ll talk,” he says. “You do what you think is right, ok?”
***
About an hour later, I’m dressed in a tight red cocktail dress that accentuates my curves, strappy heels on my feet. My hair is tumbling over my shoulders in waves. A few weeks ago, I would have never thought I could pull such a thing off, but I’m starting to realize that I’m pretty great, just the way I am.
Stephanie and Kim came into the dorm to make me up, and to hear all the gossip. I mostly let Beatrice and Randy fill them in, because I’m too busy wondering what’s going to happen at the rose ceremony.
“What happens if a pack pours in the red liquid?” I ask. “Does the rose automatically turn red? Or if I put in the ‘maybe’ liquid, will it be pink?”
“If one of you puts in red, it’ll turn red,” Kim says, touching up my makeup.
“The idea is that if one of you is so positive that you’re right for each other, the other party should give them a chance,” Lilah adds.
“She went red on the Bankers back in the day,” Beatrice says. “But after a night in the Starlight Suite, it didn’t quite take.”
“Shut up,” Lilah mutters.
“And that’s part of why I don’t think it’s a good idea to do it again with the Farmers,” Beatrice pushes.
“Stop it, Beatrice,” Lilah groans.
“Do what you want,” says Beatrice, throwing up her hands in defeat.
“I will.”
I smile at Lilah encouragingly. “It was brave of you to do that. To put yourself out there, I mean. And brave of you to do it again, too.”
