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CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
DÉSIRÉE
I switch the phone from one side to the other, trying my hardest to pay attention to what Olivia’s saying. It’s not that I don’t want to hear what she’s talking about. It’s just that she’s been talking for at least an hour. I love my sister to death, but I wish she’d shut up.
That’s not going to happen anytime soon. I just started opening back up to my family after being home for about a month. No one pushed me to do anything, but now that I’ve given them the okay, my brothers and sisters have been showering me with attention. Olivia figured today was the day to tell me all about what’s been going on in her life since I’ve been gone. She’s been busy, to say the least.
I stifle a small yawn, but even though I move the receiver away from my mouth, Olivia still heard it.
“Crap, I’ve been going on and on about me. I haven’t even asked you about what’s going on with you.”
I chuckle and shake my head, looking around the empty house. “Nothing, absolutely nothing is going on with me.”
“Oh, I mean, you don’t have to tell me but are things not going good over there at Malcolm’s house? If you don’t want to stay there anymore, you know anyone of us will be happy to have you.” Olivia’s voice is hard with worry.
“No, it’s nothing like that, it’s just . . .” I think twice about telling my sister that the man is so hot and cold that I can’t get a read on him. He says that I’m the only one he wants, but besides a few kisses here and there, I can’t get him to make another move.
“It’s just what?”
Fuck it. “Malcolm’s confusing the hell out of me,” I say with a burst of air.
“Oh, what do you mean?”
“I think everyone knows that I’ve had a crush on him for as long as I can remember, but even when I thought him and I didn’t have a chance and went for Gaylord, I still wanted Malcolm. Now that I’ve been here, it’s like those feelings have tripled. We kiss and hold each other. He’s told me that he wants me, and I know he gets turned on to be with me but then nothing. It’s like something is holding him back, and nothing I do makes him take that next step. I want to be with him, but I’m getting really tired of being rejected.” My leg is tapping. I’m so agitated.
“Oh . . . are you sure it’s a rejection?” Olivia’s voice sounds a bit guarded like she’s hiding something.
“We haven’t moved from first base, so yeah, I think I’m firmly in the friend zone right now.”
She lets out a sigh. “Christ, Désirée, I don’t even know if I should be telling you this, but it seems like everyone knows besides you. Malcolm wants you, but he’ll never ever do anything he thinks will hurt you. The thought is abhorrent to him.”
I shrug and put the phone on the other ear, “Yeah, I know that it’s nothing new. What’s that got to do with what I’m saying right now?”
“You’ve had a shit few weeks, and even though you’re doing great now, none of us really knows if something is going to push you down a path into bad memories. Dimitri took advantage of your body. He forced you and took away your choices. I don’t think Malcolm is going to touch you until you give him clear instructions that you want him to. That man has all but put a ring on your finger, Désirée. He’ll wait forever for you. Right now, he’s being careful, but rejection probably never crossed his mind.”
I can almost hear the smile on her face. This is a tricky situation. On the one hand, I completely believe that Malcolm could be waiting for me to make the first move. He’s probably waiting until he has it in writing that I want him physically. Then, on the other hand, if I do make the first move, they could all be wrong about him wanting to be with me.
“You really think so?” I ask, biting my lip, trying to draw a little bit of confidence from my sister.
“I know so.”
I nod and look over to the kitchen, trying to figure out exactly what I have here that I can use for my plan to work. “Olivia, I hate to cut this conversation short, but I need to go take care of a few things before Malcolm gets back home.”
“Eww, y’all going to do the nasty,” she says jokingly. “Seriously though, be patient with him. He’ll probably ask you a million times if you’re sure.”
“Thanks for the heads up. Be good,” I tell her before I hang up the phone and rush over to the kitchen to pull something out for dinner.
* * *
I look in the mirror and swipe a hand down the simple robe I’m wearing. I’d have liked to wear some extra fancy lingerie, but I know if I left the house, Malcolm might have had a freaking heart attack. I didn’t want to chance him coming home and spoiling the surprise. Already he’s called asking me what I was doing when he saw me running around the kitchen like a crazy person.
I forgot he could see me on the security cameras, so I’ve had to be even more sneaky with what I’m trying to do. I figure I’ll just wait until the very last second to bring out the bottle of wine and set the table. Right now, all he knows is I’m cooking us dinner. Of course, he told me that I didn’t have to worry about it, but when I argued with him about it, he let it go.
Under the robe, I have on a simple bra and panty set. Though it is one of my nicer sets, I’m still thinking it might not be enough to entice him. I close up the robe and come out of the bathroom just in time for the oven timer to go off, letting me know that the brownies I decided to make are done.
I grab the potholders and pull them out of the oven before I put them on the counter to cool off. Everything is done, and now all I have to do is wait for him to get here. I try not to second guess what I’m doing, but it’s hard. Suddenly I’m hyperaware of every last scar and flaw on my body. I know he’s not the type of man who’d give a shit about that, but I can’t help but worry about it.
I hear the key hit the lock, and I rush to the fridge to pull out the wine so I can put it on the table. The door opens and closes, and just like always, that small pinch of fear blooms in my gut.
