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CHAPTERFIVE
DÉSIRÉE
I lean my head against the wall of my cell. When I first got here, I would have done everything in my power to get out of this small space, but now after a month of going back and forth between this room and Dimitri’s torture chamber, this room is starting to feel like my only safe haven.
I run my hands over the new wounds on my arms. I know better than to scratch at them. Dimitri has already made it clear to me that if he has to waste medical supplies on me, he’s just going to make me pay for it later. Pay for it in pain.
I stretch my legs out, trying to get the pain in my back to die down. He had me on the stud table yesterday, and even though my body is used to him rutting on me, every chance he gets, those small studs always do a lot of damage. Whenever I close my eyes, I can see his disgusting face over me as he pumps away like a crazed animal into me. I’ve been here a month, and every time I think there’s nothing more that he can do to me, he finds a new and far more sadistic way to break me. As of recently, he’s been using the pillory table to beat me. As horrible as it sounds, I’ll take that over the iron table any day.
I rub my wrist and feel the deep sores there. They are sensitive to the touch, and even though there’s no blood, I’m sure they will get infected. The skin is just too compromised in the area to keep any germs out. I hope it does get infected. If so, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that no one sees them. Maybe I’ll die from that. No matter how bad it hurts, it has to be better than whatever Dimitri has planned for me.
I shiver as a strong gust of air comes through my cell. They stopped giving me new clothes to wear a while back, so now I just sit stark naked and dirty in the cell until Dimitri comes back to play with me. Sometimes it’s multiple times a day. Other times he lets me go a few days without coming for me. He lets me drop my guard before he comes back in and drags me to that horrible room. He’s already had me this morning. My pussy is still throbbing with soreness, and my thighs are still sensitive from the pressure he put on them with his knees.
My eyes close for a second, at least I think it’s a second, but when I open them again, my legs are so stiff that I have to switch positions. Time means nothing to me anymore. I turn with my back to the door and lay my forehead against the wall, trying to get comfortable when I hear the sound of feet rushing in this direction. Did I sleep a day away? Is it time for this torture to start again?
Please no. I can’t take anymore. Please.
My entire body shakes as I pray harder. My body is so tired I can’t even fight any longer. I don’t fear who’s coming to the door. I know who it is already. It’s Dimitri. I know it is. He’s come back for more. He always does. When will it end? When will he get tired of me and just kill me? I have nothing to give him. No knowledge. He’s already used up my body, so why does he continue to draw this out? Why keep me in this hellhole when he has nothing to gain from me.
I cry in defeat when the door to my cell opens up, and I hear Dimitri come to a stop in the doorway.
“Please, I can’t take anymore. Please no more,” I beg him. I don’t know why I even bother. He never listens to me. It never stops him from hurting me. No matter what I promise him or how good he says I’m being, he always hurts me.
“Mon trésor.” A soft voice fills my head, and I turn toward it. Dimitri is still in the doorway and walks toward me slowly. I hear the voice again, and it takes me only a second to figure out who it is.
Malcolm.
I laugh at the audacity of my psyche trying to fool me this way. Of all the times for me to start hallucinating. I know he’s not here. It seems almost cruel that my own subconscious would use the voice of my Malcolm to protect me from what Dimitri’s about to do to me. Or maybe it’s not protecting me. Maybe I’m already completely out of my mind, and I’m making myself hear him. Great, not only am I stuck in this nightmare, but now I have to deal with the fact that I’m going insane. How can this get any worse? I let my head dip low and wait for the pain to start.
The man in the room gets closer to me and kneels down to where I’m sitting. I wait for a second for Dimitri to rip me up by my hair, but it doesn’t happen. Instead, that soft voice speaks again. I turn to see Malcolm’s face, and my mind feels like it’s stuck in a fog. God, my imagination is good. He looks exactly how I remember him. Still so handsome. I want to reach up and touch him, but I know it’s not real.
I’ve changed my mind. If this is how my mind wants to protect me, I wish it would have done it a lot sooner.
“Désirée, say something to me. Please,” the man talks, and even though my ears hear him and my mouth sees his mouth moving, my mind just refuses to believe it.
“This is a dream. It has to be a dream,” I say out loud.
Malcolm smiles bright for a second at the sound of my voice before the expression falls from his face. “No, it’s not a dream. I’m here. It’s over now. It’s all over.” He reaches out slowly, and my eyes follow his hand.
I know when I put my hand up, he’ll disappear, and I will be even more heartbroken. What I wouldn’t give to touch him. What I wouldn’t give to have him hold me one more time. “I need him.” I thought I said to myself, but Malcolm scoots a little further and answers me.
“I’m here. I’m right here,mon trésor.” His fingertips graze my arm, and a spark of recognition flies through my body. There’s no way Dimitri could fake this. My body knows Malcolm down to the very atoms of my being.
This is real.
“Malcolm?” My hand lands on top of his, and when he doesn’t disappear, I bring the other to his chest. “Oh God, is this true? Are you here?” A whirlwind of panic and relief swirl inside of me after every one of my touches doesn’t make him disappear.
“I’m here. It’s real. I’m here for you. It’s safe now.” He pulls me close to him, and every doubt I have disappears when I breathe in his scent.
It’s over. He’s come for me. Hard sobs wrack my body with enough force, it feels like my ribs will break with each breath. I know I should be running out, but I can’t get my body to do anything but hold onto him. I latch onto him and cry into his chest as he whispers into my ear how he’s never going to let anything happen to me again. I feel him moving, and a second later, the heaviness of his jacket is around my naked body. I don’t let him go even when he tries to close it. I can’t let go.
His strong arms wrap under mine, and he lifts me to my feet, but I don’t have the strength to hold myself up. “I’m here. It’s okay now,” he coos and uses one arm to hold me up while he buttons his jacket around my body with the other.
I pull away from him slightly and look into his eyes. The pain is clear in those dark eyes. I do my best to get myself under control, but a thousand questions are screaming in my mind.
How did this happen? How did he find me? When did he get here?
What took him so long?
I’m happy to be free, but it doesn’t matter. I’m nowhere near the woman I once was. Dimitri made sure of that. He rescued me, but it’s too late. I’m already dead inside.
“Come on, let’s get you home.” Malcolm sweeps me off the ground and holds me to his chest.
If he’s here, that must mean my brothers are close. They can’t see me like this. It’ll destroy them. I’m already broken. They don’t need to see the proof of it. “Don’t let them see, Malcolm,” I whisper as I look up into his severe face.
His eyes drop down to mine, and he gives me a tight nod as he holds me tighter to his chest. It’s been so long since I’ve heard anything but the sound of my own screams and the evil words of Dimitri that it’s so pleasant just to hear Malcolm’s heart thundering against his chest. This is real, he’s here, and I’m free.
I smile for what feels like the first time in a lifetime and relax into his broad chest. A calm comes over me like I never felt as I let the sound of his heart lull me to sleep. If this is the way that I die, I welcome my end with open arms.
