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“Small comfort,” Alex said.
Logan shrugged. “Gotta take what we can get.” He smiled at her.
He watched her face change as a roach ran out from beneath the cold, dead furnace in the corner of the room. Logan could see she was horrified. “It’s just a bug, Alex. It can’t hurt you.”
“It’s just ... when I moved in with Willow, her house was infested with roaches. I ... I hate them.”
Logan had the distinct feeling there was more to the story, but he wasn’t going to ask her about it now. “Just try to ignore them. We’ll be out of here soon and in a nice, sterile hospital room.”
She was silent for a moment. For the first time, he noticed the only light came from a couple of lanterns, and the flames were getting low. He watched as Alex scanned the floor, no doubt looking for bugs.
“What happened before we got here?” he asked, trying to get her focus off the roaches—especially since more and more would come out as it got darker.
“Walker thought he lived here with his family, but I don’t think Sally and the kids ever existed. He experienced a complete psychotic break.”
Logan was surprised. “So this whole family thing was only in his imagination?”
Alex nodded. “He found an identity through the Train Man and a calling as the Destroyer, but he still yearned for a family. The kind of family he never had. He was too damaged to obtain a real one, so he created his vision of the perfect wife and children. He had to break with reality to find happiness.” She sighed. “I wish we could have kept him alive. Gotten him help. Maybe he could have found some kind of fulfillment in the real world.”
Logan couldn’t help but look at Adam’s body only a few yards away. He wanted to move him so they didn’t have to see him, but he couldn’t. It would be tampering with evidence. And he couldn’t cover the body. Anything not completely clean could leave fibers and false evidence. Although the cause of Walker’s death was obvious, he still couldn’t go against his training and contaminate the scene.
“Sorry about Mike,” he said, looking at Alex.
“Yeah, me too.” Her voice broke, and she turned her face away from him.
He didn’t know what to say, so he stayed silent.
“He blamed me for what he did. He killed Willow and Nettie.” When she looked down at him, he saw tears in her eyes. “He was angry when I left without telling him. Then for some reason he tried to become the person I wanted to be by joining the FBI. But when he was never promoted, he became enraged about my success. Enraged with me. And then he joined the Circle and met Walker....”
She shuddered. “It’s my fault. He was a friend, and I shouldn’t have left Willow’s without telling him I was leaving and where I’d be. But I just wanted to get away from there. Away from her. I guess Mike thought we were closer than I did. If I could go back in time...”
“But you can’t. And it’s not your fault.” He looked up at her. “Look, Alex. You, Adam, and Mike all experienced bad things. Especially Adam and you. But you all had choices to make. To give in to the hurt and pain and let it twist you or to fight back. To become something good. Someone who would add positive energy to the world. Adam had a terrible childhood, but he could have made a different choice. Mike was hurt that you left. He must have idolized you and wanted to become like you. He couldn’t. But I suspect other things in his life went wrong too.”
Alex told him what Mike said about his parents.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Logan sighed. “But it was still his choice to follow a dark path.” He gazed up into her eyes. “Why did Adam and Mike go one way while you went another way?”
“Because some of us are angels and some of us are demons?” Alex’s sardonic grin told him she was trying to be humorous. It worked. He laughed.
“Funny. But I’m being serious. No one has to choose a destructive path. God gave us free will. We choose. God addresses this in the Bible. Forgive me for paraphrasing, but it goes something like ‘I’ve set before you life and death, blessing and cursing. Choose life that both you and your descendants may live.’ That passage goes on to talk about how we can choose to love God or we can reject Him. He was talking to the children of Israel, but He still gives everyone that choice. What Mike did is not your fault, Alex. Blaming yourself is destructive. Stop doing that.”
Alex leaned her head back on the chair and looked up.
The lantern began to sputter.
“I can’t walk over there and add fuel to the lantern,” he said quietly. “Can’t tamper with—”
“The crime scene. I know.” She stared down at him, her eyes locked on his. “Logan, I heard a voice.”
“A voice?”
“Yes. It said, ‘Just trust me. Everything will be all right.’”
Logan smiled at her. “Who do you think that was?”
“I know you want me to say it was God, but everything isn’t going to be all right, is it? We’re going to die.” She started to cry. “I keep thinking about Krypto. What will happen to him? Will he think I abandoned him?”
Logan reached up and put his hand on her cheek. “I don’t believe we’re going to die. We have no idea what this virus will do. Alex, if God told you we’ll be all right, then I believe Him. He would know.”
