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17
Before heading into the office the next morning, Logan called the surgeon’s office and confirmed that his surgery was scheduled for the following Wednesday. He also canceled his appointment with the ophthalmologist. He had no choice but to tell Jeff what was going on, but he’d decided to wait until next week to let Alex know. He was aware that it would upset her, and he wanted to put it off until he had no choice but to tell her the truth.
Even then he planned to make light of it. Tell her it wasn’t any big deal, just a growth that needed to come out. Although he couldn’t be certain it wasn’t cancerous, he hoped and prayed it wasn’t and tried his best to cast the care of it onto God. If humbling himself meant he had to let go of the worry and the stress, then so be it. But if he’d really done that, why was his stomach so tight?
Logan arrived at the office early. Jeff was in, but Alex wasn’t. He called Jeff and asked if he had a few minutes. A short time later, he was sitting in his boss’s office. Although it was rather hard to get out what he needed to say, he finally did.
Jeff’s look of compassion moved Logan, but he steeled himself to stay focused and unemotional. He didn’t want to appear weak to his boss. He was concerned that Jeff might send him home. He just couldn’t sit alone any longer, thinking about the upcoming surgery. He needed distraction to help him not obsess about what he was facing.
“Are you absolutely sure you should be here?” Jeff asked.
“Yes. I’m fine. I have medication for the headaches. I ... I need to work, Jeff. Please.”
He hadn’t planned to beg, but he couldn’t help it. He prayed Jeff would understand.
“Okay, we’ll play it your way, but if you need to go home at any point, just go.”
“I will.”
Logan stood. He needed to leave Jeff’s office. He was having a hard time holding it together.
“Thanks, Jeff,” he said before walking out. He could feel Alice’s eyes on him as he hurried past her, but he didn’t trust himself to speak. He headed to the men’s room and quickly stepped inside. Thankfully, no one was there. He stood in front of one of the mirrors and stared at his reflection. He was shocked by what he saw. Who was that man looking back at him? His skin was pale, and there was something unsettling in his eyes. Was it fear?
“I’m sorry, God,” he whispered. “I’m trying to trust you, I really am. I don’t believe this situation is your will for me. I know it’s an attack from the enemy, but to tell you the truth, I’m scared. I don’t want to die. I realize heaven is wonderful, but there are things I want to do here. I want to tell Alex I love her. I want to get married, and I want to have children. Please hold me, Jesus. Don’t let me go.”
He grabbed a paper towel and wiped the tears off his face. This was getting to be an uncomfortable habit. He heard someone’s hand on the doorknob and hurriedly stepped into one of the stalls before closing the door. He leaned against it and continued to wipe his face until he was able to breathe again. Then he walked out of the stall, threw the towel into the trash, and left, heading for his desk.
When Alex got to work, she noticed people staring at her oddly. What was that about? She’d just reached her desk when her phone rang.
“My office now,” Jeff said. Then he hung up. What was going on?
When she reached Alice’s desk, the woman simply cocked her head toward Jeff’s office. Strange.
Alex walked through the door and found Logan waiting there too. What now?
“What’s going on?” she asked as she took the seat next to Logan.
“Quite a bit,” Jeff said. “Let’s start with this.” He punched a button on his laptop and nodded toward the large TV screen on the wall. Immediately, a news report began to play. It was Portia Meadows from channel 5.
“Look, Agent Donovan,” Portia was saying, “people just want to know what’s going on. You don’t have the right to keep important information away from the public when lives may be at stake.”
“It’s Supervisory Special Agent Alex Donovan,” Alex said. “And I have nothing to say to you.”
“So if someone else goes missing, you won’t feel bad that you didn’t warn the public?” Portia asked.
“Everyone just needs to keep their eyes open and play it safe.”
Then it showed Alex getting out of line and walking out of the restaurant. The video cut back to Portia, who shook her head and looked distressed. “Seems the FBI isn’t concerned about our community, telling us we’re on our own—that we should watch out for ourselves.” She paused to look deeply concerned, then said, “This is Portia Meadows reporting from Quantico, Virginia, where several women have gone missing. Please, be careful out there, especially if you look like Tracy Mendenhall. We’re praying for your safe return, Tracy.”
Then the camera lingered on a photograph of Tracy while her mother’s voice played at the same time. “Please, please, help us find our daughter....”
Jeff shut off the feed and stared at Alex.
“That’s not how it happened,” she said. “They’ve edited it to make it seem as if I couldn’t care less about Tracy ... or anyone else. I swear that’s not the way it went down. I told her twice that people needed to be cautious and watch out for anything suspicious. I also told her people should contact Chief Dixon if they saw anything that concerned them.”
“We’ve dealt with the media before,” Jeff said. “I believe what you’re saying, but we’ve got to stay out of the public eye. This won’t help the investigation.”
“I know. I was ambushed. I had no idea who she was when she approached me. I thought she was just someone in the community who was concerned. She said her daughter resembled Tracy, and she sounded worried.”
