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Logan took small sips of the water the way the nurse had instructed him. Then he moved on to the coffee, carefully finding the cup with his hand. When he took the first sip, he couldn’t remember ever appreciating coffee this much. Although hospital coffee certainly wasn’t the best in the world, being deprived of it made this cup truly special.
The nurse had told him Dr. Schmeidler was on her way to see him. Logan tried to stay calm as he waited, but he couldn’t help wondering if the surgery had cost him his sight. If so, his career with the FBI was over. He’d never met a blind agent.
His thoughts shifted to Alex. Why hadn’t he heard anything from Jeff or Monty? The pressure of the surgery and her disappearance suddenly felt too heavy to endure. He started to breathe faster, but he couldn’t seem to get any air. One of the machines hooked up to him began to beep. A few seconds later, the door to his room opened, and he heard several footsteps and voices around him.
“You’re having a panic attack,” someone said. It was the nurse who’d brought him the water and coffee. “I’m giving you oxygen.”
Logan felt something placed over his mouth. A mask. Air. Thank God.
“You have to slow down your breathing,” the nurse said. “Breathe with me. In ... out. In ... out. In ... out.”
Logan finally felt air getting into his lungs again. Another panic attack? He was an FBI agent. He had to get ahold of himself.
The nurse removed the mask. “How are you doing now?” she asked.
“I’m fine. Thank you. Sorry.”
“It happens a lot, Agent Hart. Nothing to feel guilty about. Just try to keep your breathing regular. If it gets too fast, it messes up your timing. That’s why you can’t get any air when it hits.”
“Okay. Thanks. I really appreciate it.”
Logan felt a touch on his shoulder. “No problem.”
He heard her step away.
“I hear you’re having trouble seeing,” another voice said. Dr. Schmeidler.
“Yes. But why?” Logan asked. “Please tell me this isn’t permanent.”
“To be honest, I can’t be sure. But we’re giving you a blood-thinning medicine in case blood clots are causing the problem. If that doesn’t clear it up, we’ll need to take a look to see what’s happening.”
“You’re going to open me up again?”
“No, not necessarily. First we’ll try an MRI.” He could tell she was now leaning over the bed. “I’m shining a light into your eyes. Tell me if you see anything.”
“Yes,” he said, trying to choke back his emotions. “I can see some light.”
“Good. This could be a temporary side effect from the anesthesia. In my opinion, that’s what’s happening. It’s rare, but I’ve seen it before. With the blood thinner and some rest, let’s see what happens over the next few hours.”
Although it wasn’t a complete victory, the word temporary gave him hope. “So now tell me about the surgery,” he said.
He heard her pull a chair close to the bed. “Sorry. I need to sit. Got called in last night for an emergency surgery, and then I had yours this morning. The hospital frowns on surgeons who sit while they work.”
Even though he wasn’t in the mood for humor, he couldn’t help but smile. He knew people well enough to realize she was purposely trying to lighten the mood. And that’s when he knew what her next words would be. He felt as if he were falling and couldn’t find anything to stop his descent.
“We got most of it, Logan,” she said. “It’s called a glioma. Yours is a grade two tumor.”
“So it’s cancer.”
“Yes, and it can become very dangerous if left untreated.”
“Now what?”
“Chemotherapy, radiation. But like I said, I was able to get most of it.”
“What are my chances?”
