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1
JADE
Ican’t believe he’s gone.
I stood in front of the church with my mother, greeting all of the people that came to pay their last respects to my father.
He’d only been gone five days, but I still hadn’t wrapped my head around the fact that I wouldn’t see him again or talk to him. Thank god I made it back in time to say my goodbyes.
Dad had been sick for months with cancer. While the prognosis wasn’t great, no one expected him to go that quick. I had plans to wrap up a few things at my job in Chicago and then come home. I had a one-way plane ticket, planning to stay and help mom run their small general store in town and spend time with my dad.
I’d quit my job in advertising and would figure things out later. I had no idea I’d have to fly home two weeks earlier than planned because Dad had taken a turn for the worse and I had to say my goodbyes.
I plastered a smile on my face as I shook hands and hugged people that I hadn’t seen in years when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry.
I was an only child and a total daddy’s girl. He was almost the reason I stayed in town after high school but he insisted I go out and see the world. He said I needed to explore and see all the options before settling back home.
So I went to school in Chicago, getting a degree in marketing and working for one of the larger marketing firms there. I didn’t hate it, but the big city was quite the adjustment for a girl from a small town in the mountains of Alaska.
Eventually the pastor had to cut off the receiving line to get the funeral started. I sat in front with my mom, holding her hand. We’d never been very close and I think she was sometimes jealous of my relationship with Dad, but I promised him I would look after her and it was the least I could do for him.
After the service we went to the local restaurant for a reception. When we were waiting for my cousin to bring up his truck, I saw him. The one whose heart I’d broken all those years ago when I decided to leave town for the lower forty-eight and the big city.
Nate Wilson.
I hadn’t seen him since we said goodbye the night before I left for college. He looked the same, maybe older.
Nate still had the rugged good looks that made me glare at every girl who tried to get near him. His brown hair was cut short on the sides and a bit longer on the top where he combed it back. His beard seemed a lot fuller now than when we were in high school. Mom had told me he was a park ranger now and he came in his uniform. I couldn’t help but notice the bulging muscles and appreciate the way he filled out his clothes.
I’d never really dated anyone since Nate. He had been my first love. We started hanging out in the sixth grade and were inseparable ever since. Mom liked to remind me all of the time of what I was missing. She wasn’t wrong, but I never admitted that to her.
But Nate didn’t want to leave Alaska and our small town. He was content with what he knew and he always planned for us to get married and have babies, raising them there just like we were. He never understood why I wanted to explore the world a little bit more.
We made eye contact and he nodded at me. I licked my lips slowly; that man still could make the butterflies in my stomach go into overdrive fifteen years later. I smiled back and he looked like he was about to come talk to me when someone stopped him to talk. My shoulders slumped and I looked away, the moment over.
Thanks to my mother’s oversharing, I knew Nate wasn’t married. She said he’d been seen on a few dates but he was the town’s most eligible bachelor. I wondered why he’d never gotten married and had kids like he always talked about when we were dating.
Next time I looked over, Nate was gone. If he came from work, he probably wouldn’t be at the luncheon. There would be plenty of opportunities to see him again now that I was back in town indefinitely. I don’t even know what I would say to him after all of this time though.
We drove to the luncheon in silence and when we got there, Nate was standing by the door. There was no way to avoid him now as I’d have to walk right past him to get into the restaurant.
“Mrs. Thompson, I’m sorry about your mother.” Nate bent down to embrace my mother. I’d forgotten how tall he was. Even with my own 5’6” frame, I felt small next to him.
“Thank you, Nate and thank you for coming,” Mom replied, rubbing his forearm when he released her. “I have to get inside.” She nodded and was gone, leaving me alone with Nate.
“I’m sorry about your dad, Jade. I know you were close.”
“Thank you.” Tears started to fill my eyes. Nate knew probably better than anyone in this town how close I had been to my dad. He’d watched it all those years we were together. Both of my parents loved him. He and my dad used to go hunting together sometimes. They’d grown close since Nate was at our house almost daily.
Nate pulled me to him for a hug and rubbed my back. He didn’t say anything, letting me cry into him. Seeing him had broken down the wall I’d been keeping up all day.
I heard Mom calling for me and I pulled away. I wiped my eyes. “Thank you.”
Nate nodded. “I have to get to work. Have a safe trip back to Chicago.”
Before I could tell him I was sticking around, he had turned on his heel and was quickly walking out of sight. I took a deep breath and wiped my sweaty hands on the front of my dress. I had to get my shit together. I could fall apart later when I was alone.
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