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Humor laces his voice as he returns, “I know the feeling.”
Cryptic. Nah, I don’t like cryptic neither. Not knowing don’t sit well with me.
“Ex-military, yeah?”
He nods. “Right.”
“What made you get out?”
“I was in for eight years. I’ve been out for three.” He gestures at his scar. “This forced my hand, and that’s when I joined Crux Security.”
I’m about to push on, when Ax’s hand clamps down on my shoulder.
I turn to see him giving me the back off look.
His eyes flash at me in warning.
I see the flare of that insane temper.
Ain’t enough to put me off.
Besides, I got a temper on me too. I just don’t bring it out as much as Ax does. I can control it way better than him.
Tempers come from passion, a load of passion, and that’s Ax all the way. He’s got it in spades, more intensely than I’ve seen from anybody, maybe Roxana being the only exception. He’s got it for her, their kid, for the club.
Maybe that’s why I can control my temper nowadays.
I learned to be numb about a load of things. I needed to be. I keep people at a distance, because of that need. If I ain’t numb enough, I lose the ability to think rationally, with my head instead of my heart.
If I’d done that sooner, I never would’ve had to go to ground. Never would’ve lost my wife. Could’ve been around to save Kim. Hell, she would’ve never needed saving that day, because Roxana would’ve never been in danger with her search for answers on my death that led her to Skinner.
Hindsight’s a luxury nobody gets though.
It is the way it is.
At least it led me to this, to calming my ass down, to being numb.
It’s kept the people I love alive and well.
Standing at a distance ain’t easy, though. Especially not from my daughter and granddaughter. The two people I wanna be close with. But not at the threat to their lives.
And now there’s also her.
Charlotte.
Talk about a blast from the brutal past.
Ain’t no question, she’s the one that got away. Probably best for her.
It’s why I gotta pull it back with her. Gotta hold her at bay.
The way I feel about her don’t matter. Not with these stakes.
People count on me to have it together and opening up to the full scope of human emotions, letting all that in, ain’t gonna let that be possible.
Ax sees the look in my eyes, my steely resolve, making it clear I ain’t gonna back off here. It has him blowing out a frustrated breath, then turning to me and telling me, “Let me finish up here, then we’ll talk about whatever’s brought you up here.”
“No need,” Maverick says, snatching up his hoodie and shrugging it on. “Have at it. I’ll hook up with Smiter up at the clubhouse. He’s going to give me a full tour of club territory around Reirdon Falls.” He rises to his feet and holds his hand out to Ax. “See you later, brother.”
