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“I’d assumed as much, but I had to ask. It’s hard to tell what customs they still abide by out West. At least, we know they follow this one.”
“For her, at least. I can’t speak for the rest of them. She’s a special case. Her father gave her an ultimatum. She has to remain a virgin to rule.”
“So the rumor about her ruling is real, huh? I wasn’t sure what to believe, it’s so off the wall. But she’s certain, eh?”
“She is,” I answered.
“And her recent deflowering? Will that affect her position?”
Now he was digging. For the clan, of course.
“I’m not sure he’s committed to the literal reading of the word virgin. From what she says, his main motive is to keep power-hungry men away by taking marriage off the table. He also believes she should focus solely on ruling. No family,” I clarified.
His eyebrows hit his hairline. “My, my, my…no family. No family whatsoever? He’s a brutal bastard to put a condition like that on his one and only daughter. That would mean the end of his line.”
“She has a brother. He’s on the spectrum, but I believe the plan is for him to have the family. The father basically flipped roles for them.”
“Savage move. Clever, but savage,” Alex ruminated. “I admire him, but he’s also fucking insane. And cruel. I understand the desire to pass on the mantle to your kin, but it’s heartless of him to take the opportunity to have a family away from his only daughter.”
Alex took a sip of his coffee, placed it on the coffee table before us, and leaned back into the cushions of the couch. “What are your plans? I don’t know Clara well, but she looks to me like someone who won’t easily renounce something she wants, and it’s obvious she wants you. She didn’t remain a virgin until she was twenty-one, only to relinquish it for a roll in the hay.”
I took in a deep breath, released my fists, and met Alex’s eyes because what I was about to say was going to be a bombshell for him. “She wants me to return to Los Angeles with her and convince her father to allow me to rule beside her.”
Alex’s teeth ground down. His body stiffened.
Leaning toward me, he said, “You can’t leave me, Tatum. I’ve never done this without you in my corner. I trust you more than anyone else when it comes to my family, my business. Sure, shit has settled down with the Popescus, but you know better than anyone things can change on a dime. Look at the way the Bratva are coming at us right now.”
I expected this reaction. I knew the way he thought. And for him, the clan was his number-one priority, outside of Nina and the baby growing in her belly. But just because I was prepared for it didn’t mean it wasn’t a sucker punch to the gut. I hated that he had a final say, that he could twist my life’s path with a flick of his little finger, but nothing would come from losing my cool.
Fingering the cufflinks of one sleeve—a nervous tick—I replied carefully, “True, but I took care of it.”
“For now,” he countered. “The potential for more mischief from them is present. What happened a few days ago wasn’t the end of it.”
I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the Popescus, the Bratva, or whatever other potential problems would inevitably come up in our rancid world. I wanted Clara. It had taken me thirty-two years to find a woman I wanted to fuck more than once, much less spend the rest of my life with, and I wasn’t about to let her go.
I remained silent, thinking it was better to stay mute than to speak my mind. I’d dedicated my life to Alex and the Lupu clan. A part of me was honored, proud I’d succeeded in making myself essential. But there were darker motivations as well. There was the desire to protect my family, fear, and finally, guilt. It lay in my belly like a coiled snake, ready to strike at any moment.
This clan had occupied every moment of my life, but I was ready to pivot in another direction, to seek out more. Suddenly, I understood Clara’s fear of wanting too much because it felt terrifying to reach for more. As she’d so eloquently put it, it felt greedy.
The heart wanted what it wanted, and mine wanted Clara. As long as my family was safe, I was ready to step away from the strictures that defined my life since the day my father’s secret wrapped itself around my neck like a noose.
“Neither of my brothers can replace you,” Alex continued. “Luca and I have come a long way, but there’s no way we would get along well and work as closely as you and I do. As for Nicu, his strengths lie elsewhere.”
“What about Sebastian?” I asked, although I already knew his answer.
“He’s not ready. I’m not saying he can’t grow into the role, but you and I have ruled together since the beginning. Honestly, it never occurred to me you’d marry outside the clan, that you’d want to move out of New York.” There was an accusatory lilt to his tone.
“I’ve finally met a woman who’s my match. I’m not attracted to the sweet, innocent women like you and Luca are. Clara is unlike any woman I know, but especially mafie women. She’s like me but on steroids. She can take me as I am,” I stated, not wanting to explicitly state my predilections.
“I understand,” he replied simply, knowing where my predilections lay.
“Then you know she’s a gem, one in a million,” I shot back.
He shook his head. “Nevertheless, I can’t let you go.”
I flinched. Disappointment, tinged with an unfamiliar rage, flared through me. I needed this, I needed her. I couldn’t let her go, yet I couldn’t ask her to give up her ambitions for me. She was made to be a leader.
“Fuck,” I cursed.
