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His face contorted in confusion and I saw the conflict within him. Not wanting to push him away with my questioning, I changed the subject. “You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”
“If I haven’t revealed anything that’s happened between us, what makes you think I’d divulge this secret. Fuck, I don’t want to start a fight over something like this, but make no mistake, Cat, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a major transgression.”
“We didn’t spend enough time alone for anything else to happen between us,” I explained, trying to justify myself. What Luca thought of me mattered. A lot.
He let out a snort of derision. “I know you’re innocent, but how can you think that? You and I had enough time and space to do a lot more in a house filled with our entire families. Christ.”
I released a shuddering breath. “I shouldn’t have told you.”
He made a sharp turn of a corner, and the wheels screeched. “You should tell me everything. Every damn thing. Fuck, the idea of that man’s tongue in your mouth makes me want to punch something. Was that your first kiss?”
I cast my eyes down to my lap. My bottom lip pushed out, I answered softly, “No.”
“And have you gone any further?” he interrogated me.
I shook my head, strands of hair fell down the sides of my face, hiding me.
“Words, Cat. I want to hear the words out of that bewitching mouth of yours. And you better tell me the truth,” he bit out.
“I’ve never done more. My first kiss was a boy in sixth grade the year before I went to boarding school. Nothing ever happened in school. It was co-ed, but we were watched carefully. I could have if I wanted to but, honestly, I wasn’t interested. I had my schoolwork and Jewel. More than that, I’m a good girl to the core. And if I haven’t behaved that way with you, I lay the blame at your feet.”
It was the truth. Luca was different. He pulled things out of me that I would never have considered with anyone else.
He sighed deeply. His hand clapped my knee and I inhaled sharply at the electricity in that touch. He was so intense; being with him was like being in the eye of a tornado.
“I know you are, baby girl, I know you are. I take full responsibility. This isn’t on you, but last year, you were what, seventeen? A grown-ass man should’ve done better by an underage girl. I would’ve never allowed anything to happen between us if you weren’t legal.”
The easy way baby girl came out of his mouth shifted something inside me.
“I mean, I’ll be spending more time with you alone than I ever have with Simu, and you’re more dangerous to me than he ever was…” I confessed in a quiet voice, my eyes glued to the dashboard in front of me. I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry after my bold admission.
He squeezed my knee, causing my inner core to clench in response, before returning his hand to the steering wheel.
“And you can’t imagine what a temptation you are, Cat. With your sexy little body, your big bright eyes, and your sweet, soft voice. Plus that spine of steel I see glimpses of when you make a confession like the one you just did. That you want me is a damn gift I don’t deserve.” He shook his head. “You have no fucking idea what I want to do to you…but I’m a Lupu and there’s a marriage contract on the table.” He moved the gearshift with his strong hand. “It doesn’t matter what we want.”
Dual emotions clashed inside me. Elation that his admission matched mine, but despair at his last statement. And to think he’d had a chance to be with me and had thrown it away. We had never met so I knew it wasn’t personal, but it still left a sting. My throat closed completely. I don’t know what I expected to come of my declaration. While Luca hadn’t made me feel stupid, my confession had been pointless. What were you thinking?
There was nothing we could do to stop the wheels that had been put into motion. Nothing. While Nicu didn’t seem interested in me, I couldn’t be tossed around from brother to brother like an object. There’d been enough of that already. Anything further would be a bold-faced insult to the Popescus. Not to mention, Cristo would fly into a rage. And Simu would have a legitimate reason to murder Luca.
And yet, this man called to my soul like no one else. Besides his deadly allure, there was a raw honesty and authenticity about him that I’d never encountered before. People were always posing, gaslighting, or outright lying to one another in mafie circles. Aching with the pain of unshed tears, I nodded numbly and turned my head toward the window, watching the teeming city streets glide past me.
He was right. As intense as this unnamed thing was between us, nothing could ever come of it.
