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25
Ihad a dream. An amazing, beautiful dream. It started out as the usual nightmare that plagued my nights when I was anxious or upset. My father’s fingers wrapped around a man’s throat, his face turning red and then redder, sputtering out curses and pleas and choked breathes. His fingernails broke as he tore at my father’s hands.
Abruptly, the images shifted and morphed into something else. Into someone else.
The fingers of the dying man transformed into Luca’s strong fingers. They caressed the side of my face, leaving behind tingles. His fingertips ran down my throat, gentle yet teasing. Seeking, my hand reached up and I felt the silky glide of his locks as I coiled them between my fingers.
It was remarkable, the vividness of my dream. I even smelled his cologne. That unique mixture of cedar and spice was like the crisp air of a pine forest after a snowstorm, stillness surrounding you on all sides. It was imprinted in my brain like a tattoo.
God, I missed that scent. My hips worked beneath the sheet, twisting it between my legs, feeding the building pressure.
Alongside his tantalizing scent, I sensed a wall of warmth. Another phantom memory of Luca. I licked my dry lips. Hmmm, I shouldn’t have had that last glass of wine before I went to sleep. I was parched, craving more, but only one person could quench this scorching need.
My eyes pried themselves open, my vision fuzzy. I frowned at the wrinkly dark-blue tailored shirt dominating my vision. That shirt was familiar. My brows bunched together. What was this? Before I could follow my line of thought, warm, firm lips pressed against mine, distracting me. My tongue peeked out to taste. Luca’s flavor exploded on my tongue. I arched up, seeking more.
A hot, moist mouth covered mine. A tongue invaded. A moan broke free. I inhaled more of the spicy, woodsy scent. My body hummed, nerve endings snapping like live wires. The tongue came in again, thrusting harder and— Like the screech of a needle tearing up an LP record, my brain snapped into place.
I jolted awake.
Luca.
Ripping my mouth from his, I sucked in a much-needed breath as my gaze bounced around, taking in my surroundings.
This was no dream.
Luca was in my bedroom.
In my bed.
Kissing me.
I stammered, stumbling over my words as my mind tried playing catch-up. “W-what is— What are you doing here?”
His burning cold gray eyes pierced me.
“Does it matter?” he replied, leaning down to kiss me again.
I placed a hand on his chest, warding him off. “Of course, it does.”
I peered over his shoulder at my open windows. In the summer, when the city heat died down, I liked to sleep with the windows open. It had its potential dangers, but I figured no one would dare break into this house. We had cameras around the property. Although, clearly, they were useless in keeping Luca away.
My eyes returned to him, greedily drinking him in. There were shadows around his eyes. Tension at the corners of his gorgeous, sculpted lips. I let out a pained sigh. I had done this to him. I’d inflicted this agony on him. I peered closer. A profound sadness radiated from him. It didn’t match the righteous anger from the morning.
“What happened, Luca? Something must have happened for you to come here, to me of all people.”
His hand caressed my hair. “You’re so fucking smart, you know that? I watched as you took me in and processed everything until you came to that conclusion. You’re so damn perceptive it’s almost frightening.”
My heart stuttered in my chest. Of course, his praise had me preening with pride, even though I had no right to it. I was struck by an intense longing to touch him, to forget everything and snuggle into him, but I forced myself back. He was suffering and I wanted to comfort him. I yearned to reach for him, but something made me hesitate. I may have felt guilty but that didn’t mean I’d let him use my body willy-nilly. My heart was on the line and any touch between us had consequences for me.
His eyes cast down, he said, “I-I can’t talk about it.”
My heart cracked at the defeat in his posture and the despair in his voice. I placed a finger beneath his chin and lifted it until his eyes were on me. “Hey, don’t you dare. You better keep your head up around me.”
Staring deep into his eyes, I suggested, “Can we suspend time for a moment? Put aside what happened between us for tonight? I swear that whatever you tell me will stay between us. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love you, Luca. I can’t change the past, but I’d do anything to make it up to you.”
He made a choked sound, his eyes averted for an instant before returning to mine and holding. I pleaded with him with my eyes, begging him to believe that I would never betray him again.
After a few long moments of tension, he took my hand and pressed a kiss to each knuckle. “I can’t. It’s not only my secret to tell.”
