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JEWEL
The time had come to tell my best friend that I was currently kind of with her ex-fiancé. I didn’t know where we were going, but I decided to do the most mature thing possible when it came to falling for a guy who’d dedicated his life to criminal enterprises: stick my head in the sand. Between adjusting to Cat’s absence and my father’s recent parole denial, I was giving myself a mental break.
I couldn’t tear myself away from him until late Sunday evening, and the past week had been a whirlwind of classes and cramming so I could spend every free moment with Nicu. Miracle of miracles, Cat hadn’t heard about the incident in the café. I chalked that up to her and Luca living in a love bubble, her full load of classes, and being consumed with wedding preparations. I didn’t often run into Cat on campus, but the fear and paranoia were getting to me.
My one condition to Nicu was that we couldn’t go anywhere public, although he’d made it clear that he was anxious to show me off to his family. God forbid. After Ioana, the thought caused me to break out in hives. I forced a promise out of him not to breathe a whisper about us until I spoke to Cat. Considering his evident impatience, he was surprisingly accommodating. I never thought I’d say this of a mafie made man, but he had the patience of a saint.
After almost a week of living incognito, I couldn’t take it anymore. The stress was building with each passing day. Guilt was eating me alive. Any more was too horrible to contemplate. Either the fever had to break or I would.
I sat nervously at our usual table, the surface worn and the edge chipped from decades of use at my favorite coffee shop. Staring across Amsterdam Avenue, I let my nerves settle as I gazed over at the façade of the Cathedral of St. John, which always struck me as lopsided with only one massive tower completed. What I loved most about the structure, besides its mix of different architectural elements, was that despite being unfinished, it maintained a regal presence that shouted, “And yet, I am still the largest cathedral in the world!”
The waitress deposited my iced cappuccino in front of me. I nodded my thanks and returned to staring at the cathedral as I waited for Cat. A part of me was still scrambling for a way to get out of this predicament. Perhaps there was still a chance to break it off with Nicu and avoid having to admit what I had done. Nah. I dismissed the idea almost instantly. I’d sooner cut off my right hand than miss out on anything Nicu. It was clear as day that I was falling for the guy, and I had no idea what to do about it. He filled a hole in my heart, even if he was stalkerish at times. Again, it surprised me how little that worried me. For years, I’d done everything alone—except when Cat brought me home with her, like a stray dog. The reminder only amped up my anxiety.
A little rap on the windowpane cut through my musings. Cat was on the other side, waving excitingly with a wide smile on her face. Her eyes sparkled, and her cheeks were slightly flushed, probably from speed walking the five blocks it took to get here.
The little bell on the door tinkled to announce her presence. After giving me a warm hug, she dropped into the rickety wooden chair and chattered, “Oh my God, what a day I’ve had. You know how packed Thursdays are. Luca’s coming to pick me up once we’re done. We’re heading over to my parents’ house for more wedding stuff. I’d invite you, but you’d be sooo bored. Sheesh, can’t wait until this wedding is over with, already.”
Her parents had been momentarily furious at me when they found out about my involvement in helping Cat pursue Luca, but all was forgiven once everything was worked out between the families.
I nodded mutely, trying to focus on what she was saying, but Cat was too perceptive to not notice my mood and instantly asked, “What’s wrong? You look stressed out.”
The waitress brought over the coffee drink I’d already ordered for her as she carefully looped her laptop bag over the back of her chair.
Once we were alone, I squeezed my eyes shut and blurted out, “You have every reason to hate me, but I swear I never intended for any of it to happen.”
My eyelids popped open, and I pleaded with my eyes for her mercy.
Cat stared at me, eyes wide and innocent. “You’re scaring me. What’s going on, Jewel?”
I shifted my gaze away from her, unable to look my best friend in the eyes.
Flinching, I declared, “I hooked up with Nicu the night you seduced Luca at the club.” Taking a big breath, I launched into the explanation I’d prepared, “After you left with Luca that night, Nicu and I stayed a bit longer. We flirted quite a bit, and when he accompanied me home, it didn’t stop at the door of my dorm room. He came in, and we”—I swallowed audibly—“We had sex.”
I rambled on, “I threw him out and swore I’d never see him again, but suddenly, it was like he was everywhere I turned.” I made a fist and thumped it on the surface of the table. “Even after your engagement with him ended, I rejected his overtures. But I saw him again at your engagement party and we ended up fooling around.” Since I’m in confession mode, might as well let it all out. “After that, I continued to fight him, but in the end, I was too weak. I’m so weak.”
I lifted my eyes up to her. “We spent last weekend together. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, Cat. We’ve never had any secrets between us, and I’ve been harboring this for months. At first, I was ashamed because it happened when you two were engaged. I should’ve told you once you and Luca were solid, but I thought I wouldn’t have to face you if I cut it off with Nicu.
“For the past six years, it was just the two of us against the world, but now, everything’s changed. You started a new relationship and were super busy preparing a massive wedding. I got a little lonely, and Nicu was persistent. I couldn’t resist him anymore, but by then, the omission had grown and grown from the initial betrayal into this…this monster of a lie. I didn’t want you to think less of me. It’s always been sisters before misters with us, and I let a man come between us.”
Cat blinked repeatedly. She licked her lips and looked away from me for a moment before seeking me out, and she said, “That was not what I expected to hear, but I’m more surprised than anything else. Luca is the only man I want, and I wanted him from the moment I met him. I don’t harbor any hidden feelings for Nicu, if that’s what you’re worried about in the back of your mind. If any of this had to do with Luca, that’s another story, but Nicu…”
She looked at the far wall as if doing a scan of her body and her feelings. Returning her gaze to me, she said, “Nope, nothing there.”
I perked up, my shoulders going back as hope trickled into my chest. “Really? What about keeping it from you for so long?”
“You should know better,” she chided gently. Grabbing my hand, she squeezed it and said, “It’s partially my fault because I abandoned you by disappearing and putting all my focus on Luca and the wedding. I didn’t do it on purpose, but I got caught up in the newness of falling in love. If I had been around, there’s no way I would’ve missed that something was up. This is as much my fault as yours.”
I expelled a whoosh of air.
“No,” I replied with a determined shake of my head. “You’re in love. You have a new life, and I don’t want you to think I’m not happy for you.” I swallowed around the tightening muscles of my throat. “I know what it’s like to be hurt by someone you trust, even if they didn’t do it on purpose. You’re more than my closest friend. You’re like a sister to me, Cat. The thought that what I did might have threatened that…” I sniffed back an unexpected cry, swiping at an errant tear that escaped.
Gripping my hands tightly, Cat brought them close to her chest and said, “Never! I love you, Jewel. I adore Luca, but you’re my person. We’ve been through so much together. And it’s because of you that Luca and I are even together. Nothing would’ve happened if you hadn’t forced me to go after him.”
My shoulders slouched forward as relief washed over me. Cat was still my bestie. Our friendship, our sisterhood, was still intact.
Forehead furrowing, her brows gathered. Worry flittered across her face.
My curiosity piqued, I said, “I see you thinking, Cat. Something’s bothering you.”
