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“When it comes to safety, like a lockdown because of an imminent threat, you better believe you’ll follow orders,” he snarled.
“Even if that was something I would contemplate, which let me tell you is not a given, that isn’t what happened here. You lied to me about keeping track of where I go, because you didn’t want to own up to it. Besides, you acted like a madman out there.” I jabbed at the door. “Disrupting my friend’s home and embarrassing me in front of her.”
“Don’t worry about Cat. She knows mafie men. We’re jealous and irrational,” he said, dismissive of my complaint.
I ground down on my back teeth.
“You’re impossible! You have an excuse for everything, but you’re not listening. I don’t like seeing you lose control. I don’t like violence and chaos. I’ve already had my entire world collapse around me. I also don’t like that you keep things from me or make decisions on my behalf without discussing it with me beforehand. At first, your possessiveness made me feel safe, but not anymore. You don’t own me, Nicu. You can’t do whatever you want without any consideration of how it might affect me.”
My chest heaved with frustration.
And then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. Oh my God, this is what Cat’s talking about. Nicu was selfish. Immature and self-centered. He couldn’t see my side of things. He couldn’t see how his behavior impacted me. He couldn’t see me.
The realization crushed me. My pulse started going double time. No. I could not abide this. I’d suffered enough with my parents. Mother didn’t see me. She visited when it was convenient for her, when she already happened to be in the city for another reason. I was only and always an afterthought to her. It wasn’t much better with my father, but at least, I could forgive him. He lived behind bars, surviving day by day.
They were my parents. My past. I could do nothing to change them or it. But I wasn’t about to knowingly fall into a relationship that perpetuated the dysfunction in my family. I thought Nicu respected me. I’d seen his possessiveness as a form of caring. Now, I wasn’t so sure. Maybe he primarily saw me as an object, like the nickname, baby doll.
Heart beating out of my chest, I put my palms out and backed away from him.
“I can’t do this. The only thing you’ve authentically apologized for is for physically putting me in harm’s way, but you can’t see how your behavior embarrassed and hurt me. On top of that, you lied to me. You won’t listen to me. You want me to turn my will over to you to make decisions for me. The truth is you don’t want a true partnership, Nicu. You want ownership. A pretty doll you can dress up and fuck, but most importantly, who will do your bidding and sit quietly while you make all the proper decisions about her. That’s not me. That will never, ever be me,” I finished with a lungful of air.
His hand went to his nape and rubbed. Looking confused, he said, “What the hell are you talking about? Of course, I respect you. I lied because I was afraid of how you’d react to the tracking app on your phone. That’s my bad, but I respect you.”
Disappointment crackled over my skin like a hundred tiny blades. Words. They were just words. I didn’t hear conviction in them. I didn’t hear comprehension of what he’d done or acknowledgment of my concerns.
My shoulders stooped in defeat. “Did you not hear everything I just said?”
“I heard; I just don’t agree with it. You’re not a blow-up doll I want to cart around, biddable and without personality. If that were the case, I’d already be married to a mafie girl. You’ve been a pain in my ass since the beginning, fighting me every step of the way. We’ve only just gotten to a good place, and I didn’t want to give you ammunition to pull away from me yet again.” The level of frustration in his voice amped up. “Okay, so I fucked up. It wasn’t my proudest moment. Yes, I lost my temper. Believe me, it’s a source of shame for me. I haven’t lost my temper in years. Years. But I lost it tonight. Over you.”
His expression was stark with the shame he was describing. I appreciated that he was opening up to me, but it only added fuel to the fire, proving we weren’t compatible.
“Listen, Nicu. I don’t know if I can do this,” I declared, my heart feeling like it was being ripped in two. Tears of exasperation and grief sprung from my eyes.
He pointed a finger at me. “Oh, no you don’t! See, that’s the reason I didn’t tell you. I knew you couldn’t handle it and would try to run away.”
My eyes flashed; my nostrils flared. I breathed out heavily and opened my mouth to scream in frustration when there was a gentle knock on the door. I whipped around as Cat poked her head through the opening.
“The walls are thin,” she disclosed cautiously. “We can hear everything. It’s time you stopped, for now.” Turning to Nicu, she disclosed, “Luca called Alex, and he’s ordered you to meet him at the café. I suggest you don’t keep him waiting, for both of your sakes. Nicu, you need to see your ?ef. Pick this up another time.”
“Yes,” I hurried to agree, desperate to get away from his presence. In my mind, there was nothing more to say.
Pointing at me, he said to Cat, “I’ll leave, but I want her home.”
My upper lip curled. I was about to shoot him a bitter comeback when Cat put a hand on my arm and answered, “I’ll personally escort her home, Nicu. I give you my word.”
“Right away,” he insisted. “If you care for Cristo, you’ll make sure to keep her away from your brother. It’ll be on your conscience because nothing’s off the table, Cat. I’m dead fucking serious.”
Dipping her head with an acquiescence I wasn’t used to seeing her display, she hushed out, “Of course, Nicu. I’ll make sure of it.”
Grr.I was so furious at him I could’ve throttled him. Getting me away from Cristo was all he cared about. And how did he turn Cat into a simpering miss? I wanted to slam a door or throw a punch or stomp on the ground. I wanted to throw a hissy fit, is what I wanted. Instead, I snapped my mouth shut and gritted my teeth as Nicu stood up and came to me.
I stiffened as he cupped my cheek. “We’ll talk later. I’m in some serious shit right now. It may take a while, but I’m coming for you, Jewel. I’m warning you; this isn’t over.”
Holding myself rigidly, I tried not to be affected by his warm hold, his fingertips lovingly caressing my skin, sparking tingles that left me feeling both enraged and impotent.
I jerked my head away. He leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on my temple. For a long moment, we were suspended together, his spicy, sultry scent coiling around me like thick incense, and then—he was gone.
