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But just as quickly, she shifts her chair away from me, pushes her hair behind her ear, and the mask returns to her eyes.
“I was more open with my other clients.”
Fuck.
My fist tightens around the drink the bartender placed in front of me when I wasn’t paying attention. “Well, it’s a good thing that we’re doing this the right way then, huh? Now I can get to know you better. Just like all those other clients did.”
She sighs. “Cash, you’re intentionally hurting us both. This makes no sense. I have enough information to move to the next step. There’s no reason for us to go on these dates. You and I both know it’s unnecessary, and whatever you think you are going to get out of it, I promise it won’t be worth it. I’m not worth it.”
I hear her pleas and see her desperation, but I’m not satisfied. And I don’t know how I will be. What will it take for me to feel better about this?
“I don’t have enough information. I want to do this right. We date, you go through your process, and then we move on to the next step. Understood?” I grind out.
Her shoulders sag in defeat. “Fine.”
“Where is he anyway?” I ask, looking around the bar, making sure no one is coming toward us.
“Who?” Grace’s eyes scan the bar with a confused look.
“Mr. Kensington. You’re having dinner with me tomorrow, and you spent the weekend with me in Florida. Doesn’t your husband ever want to see you?”
She rolls her eyes and lets out a bitter laugh. “You’d think,” she replies, then her eyes grow wide, and she looks at me. “I mean, he’s busy with work.”
“Does he know?” I grit out.
“Does who know?” she asks, confused again.
I’m getting tired of saying his name. But I refuse to say, your husband, so I reply, “Mr. Kensington. Does he know what you do? That you date other men. That you sleep with other men.”
Grace’s eyes close and she rubs her fingers over her temples. She pauses, then opens her eyes and looks at me. “Cash, it was only you. I’ve never…and we…”
In a voice barely above a whisper, I bite out, “Don’t you dare tell me it was just sex. You fucking came on my tongue. You rode my face and had the best orgasm of your life. Don’t tell me it was just fucking. I’ve fucked before, Grace. I know the difference. What we did was more, and you know it. You can lie to yourself but we both know what happened in Florida wasn’t normal. You felt it too, I know you did. And now you’ll have to live with knowing that we’re both missing out on that connection because of your lies.” The anger and venom in my voice cannot be disguised even though I speak quietly, not wanting to draw a crowd.
Grace doesn’t break eye contact. I have to give her credit; she handles my anger with poise.
A tear slides down her cheek, but she doesn’t move to wipe it, and neither do I. I’m annoyed that my fingers itch to touch her, that I have to physically wrap my hand around the glass with an almost viselike grip to keep from comforting her. “I’m so sorry, Cash. I really am so sorry.”
“Does he know?” I growl.
She looks up and nods, her chin bobbing up and down in innocence. “We have an agreement.”
The words slice me, and I move close to her face, giving up my war at staying far away from her. “Any man who would let you stray has no goddamn idea what he has.”
I pour back the rest of my whiskey, throw a twenty on the bar, and walk off. I’m afraid that if I don’t get away from her, I won’t be able to control my actions. I just want to pull her face into mine, hold her tight, and explain to her how wrong her marriage is. She shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t care enough that she’s with other men. Likely that means he’s with other women. Why would she settle for that? Why would she want that?
If she were mine, I wouldn’t be able to handle having other men even looking at her, let alone knowing they were intimate with her.
If she were mine…
Absurd words…she never will be.
Chapter 10
Grace
“I have no idea what to do; he completely hates me.” I stare down at my choice of outfits for my date and shake my head at every option.
“He doesn’t hate you. He’s upset. Those are two very different things,” my best friend, Tessa, says over the phone. I have her on speaker, and it feels so good to finally be honest with someone. She was not shocked in the least when I told her about Steven’s affair.
