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Jonathan is silent on the other end of the phone. I’m not sure if he’s upset with me for dating Cash, if he’s surprised I admitted it, or if he’s just waiting for me to make my big ask. Either way, I know it’s my responsibility to keep moving forward.
“I know I’m asking a lot of you, but would you consider going out with me a few times and let the media think it’s you I’m dating?” Nervously, I twist the cord of my phone around my finger.
Jonathan clears his throat on the other end of the line. “Gracie, I would do anything to protect you. If you think this is the right thing to do, I’d be happy to take you out to dinner.”
A long sigh escapes my lips, and I let out a nervous laugh. “Why are you such a good guy? And how are you still single?”
Jonathan laughs. “I’m not that good of a guy, believe me. I actually have an event that I need a date for, and I’d rather bring a professional woman like you, someone who is both beautiful and can wow a crowd and hopefully my future business partner, than bringing some social media influencer who will bore me all night.”
Smiling, I reply, “You are seriously the best. Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there with bells on. Oh, and let me know the dress code. I really appreciate this, Jonathan.”
“When I say that sticking it to Steven is sincerely my pleasure, I’m not even being a bit facetious. I’m so angry about what he did to you. I may be a playboy, but I’m not a cheater and I despise those who are. Also, being seen with you on my arm will probably drive Cash a little nuts, and that has its perks too.”
I laugh. “Yeah, let’s not rub it in his face, please.”
“No promises, Gracie, no promises. Have a good night.”
“Night, Jonathan. Thanks again.”
I hang up the phone feeling relieved and also a little giddy. Jonathan has a way where he always makes a woman feel like she’s dipped in gold. In college I ate it up. It’s a dangerous quality because when he turns it off, it can leave you feeling very empty. Since I had been smart enough to never actually fall for his charms, I never got hurt and our friendship remained intact all these years later. He is the perfect fake boyfriend for the press. He will provide them with fodder for months so that Cash and I can stay under the radar.
I’m just getting ready to text Frank that he can pick me up when my cell phone rings. It shouldn’t have surprised me. Certainly, I knew it was coming. I’d so much as told Marion that my mother was going to be beside herself when she found out about the divorce. I just thought I had more time. That I would have Marion with me, preferably in a restaurant of my choosing, when I detailed Steven’s affair and our eventual separation. In a restaurant, she couldn’t scream and throw a fit. In front of Marion she would never belittle me and treat me like dirt. Or maybe she would, but at least Marion would have stopped her.
But on the phone, in the privacy of her own home, my mother knew how to cut like she had a switchblade in her hand. And she was not afraid to use it.
“You do realize you are a thirty-six-year-old woman, don’t you, Grace,” my mother hisses into the phone. “Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?”
I spent my life walking on eggshells around my mother. This wasn’t my first foray into dealing with her meltdowns and teardowns. “Mom, I’m very sorry that you had to find out the way that you did, but you have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Oh really! My daughter is having an affair while she’s married to a wonderful husband who has provided her with everything I never had. How am I supposed to feel? Nothing is ever good enough for you. I was never good enough for you. You always wanted to be with Marion. TJ was never good enough for you, so you asked Asher to walk you down the aisle. The high school I attended wasn’t good enough for you, so Marion had to take out a mortgage to send you to private school in Boston and have you live with her. You are so spoiled you don’t even see all the things you have done that are selfish and embarrassing. And now you cheat on a Kensington! What were you thinking? No one will ever treat you like Steven did.”
Finally, we can agree on something. I will never allow myself to be treated the way Steven did. “Mom, I should have told you when you were here. I’ll come down this weekend and we can have dinner with Marion and talk.”
“Absolutely not. I don’t want to hear your sob stories. End this affair with Jonathan; go back to Steven and work it out. I spoke to him this afternoon, you know? He’s willing to go to counseling. Says he can forgive you. That you are the one who won’t talk to him.”
My sanity snaps. “He’ll forgive me? Oh, that’s rich. Did he tell you he’s the one who cheated? I didn’t cheat, Mom. I didn’t even look at another man. He left me. But you know what? I’m happier now than I was for the last few years of my marriage. It was good for a while but we both got complacent, and we want different things.”
It feels good to admit the truth. No, I’m not sleeping with Hanson or moving in with him despite the bogus claims in the latest gossip rags, but telling the truth about my marriage and how unhappy I was—that feels freeing.
My mother laughs. I don’t know why I thought the truth would end her cruelty. I learned over the years just to placate her. Let her say her piece and then move on. Fighting with her never gets us anywhere. Except with tears.
“He cheated on you because you don’t show him affection. Because you’re always working. He’s willing to forgive that. Do you know how lucky you are? Do you know how much I would have killed to have a man want to support me and love me? All he’s asking in return is for you to be around at night. To have kids. To be a mother. But you’re so selfish you couldn’t possibly understand how to do that.”
Fresh tears hit my eyes as my mother’s words cut me. I should have known better than to pick up the phone. The worst part is that I don’t disagree with her. I wasn’t a good wife to Steven. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be unselfish enough to put someone else’s needs above my own. To not choose work, my career, and my wants over someone else’s. I know that I don’t want Steven, but I can’t help but wonder how the hell I’ll make it work with Cash if my mother is right.
Chapter31
Cash
I slam down the phone, irritated that the third call to my distributor today has been declined. I need to get hold of them and find out what is going on with our contract. When Carter strolls into my office, I sigh in resignation. “I think we are going to have to change the plans for this weekend.”
“Something happen?” he asks as he sits down in the chair.
I blow out a frustrated breath. “I have to get to Nashville. Something is going on.” I’m frustrated for many reasons. It’s not just the fact that I have to cancel on my brother, it’s the idea of being away from Grace for longer than a night. If I’m going to Nashville I should make it a longer trip. Pack up more of my stuff. I wasn’t sure how long this stay in Boston would last, but now that I’ve moved into the penthouse and started dating Grace, it’s safe to say I’m not going to be returning to Nashville on a regular basis anytime soon.
“Still can’t get Daniel on the phone?”
“No. I’m positive he’s avoiding me.”
