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Guilt burrows deep inside me as I remember that Cash doesn’t even have a mother.
Selfish, stupid Grace.
“You shouldn’t be apologizing. We really don’t have to talk about this.”
Cash put his finger to my lips. “Please stop trying to protect me. Stop trying to control everything. Just talk to me.”
I sigh. He’s right. “She saw the article and spoke to Steven. She knows about the divorce and his affair and…” I struggle to find the words because I don’t really know how to explain our fight. She doesn’t understand it? She’s angry with me? I mean, who finds out their daughter was cheated on and replies that it’s their daughter’s fault?
No, seriously, who does that?
And being related to a woman like that, wouldn’t that be concerning? I mean if I were Cash, I’d be running for the hills after hearing how horrible my relationship is with my mother. “She blames me,” I finally admit.
Cash’s eyes crease in confusion and his eyebrows furrow together. “She blames you for what?”
Rolling my eyes in embarrassment, I finally blurt it all out. “For the affair. The divorce. All of it. She says I’m the reason he cheated. I always put my career first. I was never home. Steven looked elsewhere because I wasn’t taking care of his needs.”
Cash’s jaw clenches, and I see him working through his response. “Grace, you are not to blame for your husband having sex with someone else. You are not to blame for wanting to have a career. And Grace, please hear me when I say this…you are more than enough. Anyone that doesn’t see that, anyone who doesn’t see how strong, beautiful, wonderful, and caring you are, doesn’t see you. That’s not on you, that’s on them.” He strokes my cheek and tips my chin up to look at him.
I let out a haggard breath. “She doesn’t mean any harm. She had a tough life. And I didn’t make it easy on her. I think she saw my marriage as her saving grace. I married a Kensington. Steven comes from money. In her mind, me marrying him meant that we’d take care of her. And we have. But it’s not Steven’s money that does that. It’s mine. Not that she’d ever believe any of my success comes from hard work. She believes everything I have has been given to me. By Marion or by Steven.”
Cash grinds his teeth. “I’m trying really hard here to remain calm, but I have some choice words for your mother that I’m trying to swallow.”
I laugh softly against his chest. “It’s fine. I get it. Honestly, after talking to her I just thought you’d be better off without me. I am selfish. I put my career first. And I’ll probably still do that. I’m not going to magically become a better partner just because you aren’t Steven. I’m still me.”
“Okay, I don’t know what the hell kind of person raised you, but you aren’t selfish. You pushed me away and allowed me to belittle you, let me believe that you were still married and that you were a cheater, just to keep me from destroying my reputation. There is nothing selfish about that.” Cash’s thumb moves gently over my lips, as if it’s soothing him just to touch me.“Since I met you, I’ve been swept up into whatever this is. I don’t want you to be anyone else. You are all I want.”
Cash brings his lips to mine, and he kisses me, as if his lips can impress upon me whatever his words did not.
Pulling back, I look up at him. “If I’m being honest here, I’m scared. I’m really scared. These feelings I have for you keep getting stronger, and giving in to you is me handing over the ability for you to crush me. My marriage has barely ended and I’m just getting back on my feet. If we do this, us, there is no guarantee that I’ll survive it. I mean what happens when it all becomes too much? When we can’t pay enough to buy the photographs, or when your family’s business suffers from gossip about us. What happens then?”
With a small shake of his head and a ghost of a smile on his face, Cash steals my worries. “First of all, you are underestimating my feelings for you. Believe me, the one who has all the power in this relationship is you. I’ve been walking around with my heart beating on the outside of my chest trying to get it back since I met you. It’s not happening. And believe me, I’ve fucking tried.” He laughs dryly. Then he eyes me. “Second, you are underestimating how much money I have.”
He smirks and I laugh louder than I mean to. “You’re ridiculous.”
His eyes crease in happiness. “Yes, I am. But seriously, Grace, money isn’t an issue. I don’t know who the fucking Kensingtons are, but most people know who the Jameses are. I will take care of you.”
I shake my head. “I don’t need you to take care of me, Cash. I have my own money. I have my own company.”
He smiles and presses his thumb against my cheek, rubbing softly. “I know that, Gracie, and I’m not trying to say that I think you need me. But I am going to take care of you whether you ask for it or not because it’s the only way I know how to be. I’ll try really hard to stand back, but not when you’re hurting. Not when I can do something to stop it. From here on out, we’re a team. No more hiding, no more trying to fix things on our own.”
“That means you too, Whiskey.”
He chuckles. “Yes. Both of us. I rely on you, and you rely on me. It’s the only way we’ll work. How does that sound?”
I twist my mouth as I consider what he’s asking. Can we make this work? So many thoughts rush through my mind. Concerns that have been flooding my every thought since I first tried to push him away. But it hasn’t worked. Cash is right. Whatever this is between us, it’s not going away. I meet his eyes and nod. “Okay.”
Cash’s eyes brighten. “Really?”
I bite back my laugh and smile as I stare up into his eyes. “Yes. From now on we make decisions together. We figure this out together. We’re together.”
Cash’s head falls back against the pillow, and he sighs. “And Hanson?” he asks, propping his head up with his elbow as he turns to look at me.
I try to hide my massive eye roll. “What about Hanson?”
“The article.”
“Cash, I told you I was going to get word out that he and I were dating. It was for your benefit.”
