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I would make no apologies for the way I felt about Genny, or for the nature of our love. I ignored Taisiya’s reaction and let go of Mother’s arm as she stepped ahead to help organize the seating of the guests. I doubted she had heard me flirting with Genny, but she avoided looking at him once again when she glanced quickly back to me with a thoughtful look.
“Please take seats wherever you’d like,” Sai called out across the now bustling room as city-dwellers and forest-dwellers both moved among the tables. “There is no order for seating today. It is my hope that all of my guests mingle and get to know each other.”
He turned back to me with a wry smile, as if to ask whether I thought he was doing a good job of being a leader.
I couldn’t resist the opportunity to tease him.
“Not bad for a palace steward,” I told him with a wink as he strode over to us.
“You’re lucky you’re getting a place at the table at all,” he teased me right back, making a fist and hitting my arm hard.
It was a small thing, but that moment between me and my brother unraveled a bit of the tension Mother and my sisters’ reactions had left me with. I kept looking at Sai, but lost my smile as I pulled Genny to the side and gestured for Sai to come with us.
I made it look like we were figuring out where to sit, but as soon as we were far enough away from Mother that she wouldn’t overhear, I said, “Mother refuses to acknowledge Genny.”
I wish I could say that Sai was surprised by that. Instead, he sighed and shook his head. “I was afraid of that. They haven’t exactly welcomed Sebald with open arms either.”
That made me frown. No, it made me scowl with fury. No, hurt.
“Nothing has changed, has it,” I said, trying to contain my anger. “Three years, Gomez’s destruction, everything the wolves have done to try to save the cities and city-dwellers, and not a damn thing has changed about the way they see us.”
“That’s not true,” Sai rushed to say. We’d been noticed by Mother. By several other people in the room too, including Magnus, who was trying not to make it obvious that he was watching our conversation from the other side of the room as he, Peter, and Neil took their seats. “A lot of people have changed their attitudes,” Sai continued.
“But not enough of them.” I was surprised by how disappointed that made me.
Sai let out a breath and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m trying. I’ve been speaking highly of Magnus and the Wolf River Kingdom at every opportunity. More of the common people are willing to rethink their view of wolves, probably because they knew them from faires and they’ve heard the rumors. The nobles…are coming along.”
It wasn’t enough. I could see that in the strain lining my brother’s face. I could see it in Mother’s frown as she cut through the crowd to reach us. I could see it in the anxious and fearful faces of the elite few who had been invited to the welcome breakfast. Magnus could form plans of peace and prosperity all he wanted. Sai could encourage his people to change their minds. The leaders of whatever alliance we were about to form could have lofty ideas all they wanted, but people still hated and feared the wolves.
I had the feeling Sai could read my thoughts. He reached out and squeezed my arm, sending Genny a sympathetic smile of acknowledgement as he did. “I’m doing the best I can,” he said. “Right now, that’s all I can do. I want to change the way my people feel about you wolves, but I have to make sure we have enough food to make it through this winter first.”
Not only did that statement make Sai’s priorities clear—and really, I couldn’t fault him for putting his own people first—he said it just as Mother came close enough to hear.
At first, she looked shocked by Sai’s words, then she frowned for a moment before laughing nervously. “What do you mean, ‘you wolves’?” she said. “Jace is one of us. He is from Hedeon, a city-dweller, a Rozynov.”
My insides roiled. I couldn’t do this now. We hadn’t even been there an hour. We hadn’t had a chance to sit together and mourn the loss of my father and the myriad violations against our family. We hadn’t cried or laughed about the past. We hadn’t even really discussed whether we were all alright now. No matter what Magnus wanted me to do, I couldn’t sit with my mother’s disapproval and her refusal to acknowledge my lover for a single minute.
Thank God, Sai rescued the situation. “I’ve reserved seats for our entire family at the center table,” he said, touching my arm, smiling at Genny, then taking Mother’s arm and escorting her around the ends of the tables to the one in the center. Sure enough, I could see that a section of the benches on either side in the center had been left open.
Mother frowned momentarily at Sai, then glanced over her shoulder at me. It must have been pride that made me to it, but I let go of Genny’s hand and slipped my arm around his waist instead.
“No one is going to shut you out of my family,” I whispered to him, leaning close enough to kiss his cheek while Mother watched. “Not even my own family.”
“I don’t want to cause a rift,” Genny said. He spoke so rarely these days that whenever he did, I listened intently.
“You didn’t cause it,” I said, “I did. I caused it by existing.”
It felt bitter to say that. It felt even worse to think that I had been separated from my family long before Gomez had brought down the sword that severed my father’s head from his body and prompted me to flee into the forest. I wondered what would have happened if there had been no Gomez. Would I still have ended up in the forest? Would I still have felt this wedge between me and Mother?
“Friends, on behalf of Hedeon and the entire Kostya Kingdom, I welcome you to my humble home,” Sai began his welcoming speech once Genny and I had taken seats at the table. We sat on the far side, with Magnus, Peter, and Neil sitting a few feet behind our backs at the next table over, Sai standing right beside me, and Mother, Taisiya, and Vera sat across the table from us. “I will not keep you from your breakfast with useless chatter, but I very much wish for all of you to feel welcome.
“When King Magnus and I first conceived of this meeting, we had envisioned a small gathering of friends. We’d thought we would casually discuss the challenges both of our kingdoms face in the wake of the changes we’ve all gone through, and before this next winter sets in. I am pleased that we have expanded our circle of friendship to include representatives of the Northern Kingdom—Jorgen Iceblade and Hati, with their entourage—and Olympus Hakobyan from Good Port. It is my sincerest hope that the next few days will see the dawning of new alliances and trade agreements that will support us all and help us survive and thrive through this winter and beyond.”
He nodded to indicate he was finished, then took his seat amidst applause.
I applauded as well, though I had to give him a brotherly look of only pretending to be impressed. I actually was impressed, but it was my job as Sai’s brother to take him down a peg whenever I could. That was simply what brothers did.
I was just happy to have my brother back.
