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“Neil needs to give submission a try himself,” Jace said, his tone, and the entire feel of our conversation, shifting. “He’s a natural submissive.”
I widened my eyes in surprise. “No, he’s not,” I said. “Peter is the submissive one in that relationship, all of that relationship.”
Jace gave me a sideways, doubtful look. “Peter?”
I laughed. “Yes, Peter. Can’t you feel it?”
“He’s a fucking amazing sub when we play,” Jace said. “But the rest of the time?”
I looked at him as if he were thick. “If Peter could, he would prostrate himself at Magnus’s and Neil’s feet and beg them to put a collar around his neck. He can’t, though,” I went on quickly, “because he has too much pride and far too much ambition.”
“Then he’s not submissive,” Jace argued.
I shook my head. “He is at his core, he’s just complex. And it grates on him sometimes. That’s why he made such an issue about pupdom. It hits too close to home.”
“Yes, well, if he gives you a hard time about wanting to be my pup—my wise, beautiful, amazing pup—then I’ll flay him to the bone next time we play,” Jace said, stroking my face.
“What he really needs to do is put all of that conflicted energy of his into making laws that regulate pupdom, not into eliminating it,” I said. “He should stop bashing his head against a wall and start coming up with ways to make pupdom safe and effective for everyone involved.”
Jace’s eyes went wide with the light of an idea. “If he put his efforts into it, would you be interested in helping him? Helping him create a better version of pupdom?”
I sat a bit straighter, considering it. “Maybe,” I said. “I just don’t feel the need to move and shape the world the way the two of you do. I don’t have the same desire to be in the thick of things, like Lefric and Orel, or even Sebald. I don’t want to put myself out in the world, like Conrad, either. I’m more like Anton, if I’m like any of the Sons. I just want to stay with my man and support him.”
I leaned in and kissed Jace’s lips gently.
Instead of letting me pull back, he grasped my face and tugged me close for a deeper, possessive kiss.
“I love you for it,” he said when we were both breathless. “And I need you if I’m going to accomplish anything in the next sixty or seventy years.”
We both smiled. More than that, we smiled at each other, connecting in a way that went beyond the physical. Though, to be honest, I desperately wanted to connect physically with him right then. I was starting to get restless with the need to feel him inside me.
“So that’s it, then,” he said with a sigh, still smiling in spite of the wistfulness in his voice. “One door closes and another one opens. One family dies and another one is born.” He swept his hand around my face and let out a breath. “I’m ready to go home now.”
Home wasn’t Hedeon for Jace, not anymore. It was Gravlock. It was the house by the river with its garden terraces and Rurik’s grave. It might not be that house forever. We would probably have our own house in time, especially if Magnus, Peter, and Neil had children. But for now, that was home.
I leaned in and kissed him again, then whispered, “I’m ready to go do what everyone else is probably doing right now and take a nap.”
Jace arched one eyebrow. “I don’t think napping is what everyone else is doing.”
I grinned. “I know.”
Jace burst into a laugh. “You’re a cheeky little pup sometimes, you know?”
I rocked back and forced my sore and rubbery legs to support me as I stood. Jace stood with me, helping me stay upright.
“Don’t tell anyone,” I said, still quiet. “My cheeks are something to keep between you and me.”
“And don’t you forget it, pup,” he said, smacking one of my asscheeks hard when I turned to walk with him to the cottage we were staying in.
It was a strangely wonderful moment. It shouldn’t have been. The meeting was a failure, two men had died, and nothing substantial had been accomplished. As we entered our cottage, I caught sight of Jorgen walking through the back garden with a shovel, dirt on his tunic. I felt bad that they had to finish up the burial by themselves, but not bad enough to give up Jace to help them.
We could hear Magnus, Peter, and Neil talking in their room as we walked past the door and entered our own room, but I wondered how long the talking would last before it became something else.
“Do you think we should have another Sons meeting to try and make sense of the mess of these meetings?” Jace asked as we stepped into our room. He shut the door behind us and looked at me with genuine question.
Part of me wanted to grin and tease him. Jace had come farther than he knew if he was asking my advice about something so important instead of just telling me what to do. I loved him telling me what to do, but I also loved whispering guidance in his ear.
“Yes,” I said, moving to the bed and sitting to remove my boots, “but let’s wait until we leave Hedeon.”
