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I helped her to sit in a chair at the table. “Are you sure you’re okay to sit here? Wouldn’t you feel better on the couch?”
She smiled softly. “I want to be near you.”
I felt the pang in my heart from her trust in me. “After you eat, I’ll move you to the couch so you’re more comfortable.”
“Thank you for taking care of me, Colton.” She caressed my cheek before letting her hand drop.
I bet the movement hurt her ribs.
“You shouldn’t be up and moving. It’s too soon.” I moved back over to the stove to check on the pancakes.
“The more I get up and move, the better I’ll feel.” I heard the smile in her voice. It was her sweet optimism that made me fall for her.
I shot her a disbelieving look over my shoulder. “I think it’s the opposite. You should take it easy the first few days.”
She smiled sheepishly. “I’m not great at keeping still.”
“How can you be okay after what happened?” I kept my gaze on the pan, not wanting her to see the emotions I was positive were etched on my face.
I didn’t hear her move, but I felt her hand on my back, and I turned, capturing her wrist in my grip. “Why are you moving? You should be—”
“Resting?”
I nodded tightly.
She smiled. “I’m okay, Colton. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
I felt like she could see right through me, the emotions I thought I’d been hiding from her. The pain, the guilt, the shame. “I couldn’t protect you. I wasn’t there.”
Turning from her concerned gaze, I removed the pancakes from the heat, piling them on a plate before pouring new batter. I needed to focus on feeding her.
“You can’t always be next to me. That’s not realistic.”
My shoulders tightened at her accurate description. “That’s not it. I felt hopeless when you called. I was too late.”
I turned in time to see her forehead wrinkled in confusion.
“Colton. What happened to me has nothing to do with you or your past.”
The emotions swirled faster and tighter until it felt like a tornado inside. “Then why does it feel like it has everything to do with it? I screwed up. I wasn’t focused. I didn’t put the pieces together sooner. I was so eager to close the case; I was all too happy to blame everything on Corey. We didn’t question him as intensely as we would another suspect. Chief wanted me to go easy on him. Maybe if I hadn’t listened, he would have said he wasn’t responsible for Max’s bar.”
“You think the guy who broke into Max’s robbed me?”
“Yes. Maybe? I don’t know. We still have nothing to go on.” I should be on the street, trying to find this guy. Except everything else in my body wanted to be here, taking care of her, making sure she was okay.
Which impulse was correct? Why couldn’t I get this right? Why did the people I care about keep getting hurt?
“You don’t think being with me was a mistake, do you?” Her tone was tentative.
I rubbed my neck. “No. That’s not—that’s not what I’m saying.”
“This isn’t on you. I’m not sure what I can say that will get through to you.”
“You don’t have to say anything. You just need to rest and heal. The pancakes are done.” I plated two and grabbed maple syrup from the fridge, placing it on the table. I helped her back to her chair, easing her into a sitting position before pouring her some coffee.
She smiled tentatively at me. “I’m starving. Thank you for making breakfast.”
“It’s the least I can do.” But it wasn’t enough.
