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I shook my head. “I was the responsible one. I should have done more.”
“You keep saying that, but it doesn’t make it true,” he said with conviction.
Was he right?
“You like this girl?”
That wasn’t the right word for what I was feeling. “I love her.”
“Is this guilt keeping you from being with her?”
“I’m here, and not with her,” I said, suddenly disgusted with myself.
He gave me a pointed look. “I think you know where you need to be.”
I stood, patting my pocket for my keys.
“Are you good? You happy?” I asked when he opened the door for me.
“It was rough at first. Because I completed a thirty-day program, I thought I could hang at a bar. That I could have one sip. I was young and stupid. But yeah, I got my shit together now. I’m working. Just met a girl myself.”
I shook his hand. “That’s great. I’m happy for you.”
“I am too, and I wouldn’t go back and change anything. The journey is part of me. Now I want to help others.”
“I know you will. Thanks for meeting with me.”
He slapped me on the shoulder as I walked out. “Good luck with your girl.”
“I’m going to need it,” I called over my shoulder as I jogged down his porch steps and toward my truck.
It was a three-hour drive back to Annapolis. The entire ride, all I could think about was being with Remi. Holding her tight and never letting her go.
He’d given me the clarity I couldn’t seem to find on my own. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I took a few deep breaths, acknowledging my part in Austin’s downfall and the incident in the Marines, then let it go. I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. These thoughts would creep in again, but I’d have Remi’s help. I wasn’t alone.
I couldn’t protect Remi from everything, but I could be there for her. I could support her, love her. Be her haven. She could do the same for me.
I just hoped I wasn’t too late.
* * *
A few hours later, I parked near Remi’s apartment. I unlocked her front door, walking softly up the steps so I didn’t wake her. After using her bathroom to clean up, I paused in Remi’s doorway.
She was sprawled in the middle of the bed, the blankets in disarray around her. It perfectly represented her presence in my life. Front and center and not to be missed.
Finally, there was nothing holding me back. I wasn’t feeling residual guilt about the past or what happened to her. I was here for her.
I slid into bed. When the mattress dipped with my weight, Remi rolled over to face me. Her eyes blinked open slowly, and she rested her palm on my cheek. “You’re here.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“How’d it go?”
I’d hoped to talk about this in the morning, but since she was awake, I didn’t mind getting it out of the way. “He told me it wasn’t my fault.”
“Do you believe him?”
Everything hinged on my answer. “Before I arrived, I realized I didn’t need to protect everyone in my life. Instead, I could be a safe place for you to come home to. I could be your support system. I can’t control other people.”
