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Instead of Dexter lecturing me, he smiled like he’d just gotten something he’d wanted forever. “Seriously?”
“We haven’t labeled it, but I care about her. I don’t want whoever this is escalating this.”
“You’re worried about her.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.” There was no shame in admitting that.
“How about that,” Dexter said to himself, sliding into his car.
Something bubbled to the surface as I got behind the wheel. What if I couldn’t protect her? What if we didn’t find this guy?
The panic took over, and I couldn’t seem to calm myself. My heart beat out of control, and my hands felt as shaky as Hailey’s looked earlier. My empty stomach roiled.
Driving to the station, I know I needed to pull myself together before Dexter told Chief to take me off the case. I wanted to be the one who closed the case, but at the same time, I worried I’d fuck it up. Just like I had the last couple of times someone relied on me.
I hadn’t been a good friend to Austin in college. I hadn’t paid close attention. I hadn’t realized his drinking was out of control and waved it off as normal college partying until it was too late. In the Marines, I had a quiet post guarding the U.S. Embassy in Madagascar until some kid decided he wanted to make a statement in the form of a handmade bomb.
I hadn’t been vigilant and let my guard down both times. I couldn’t let my relationship with Remi influence my ability to do my job.
When I arrived at the station, I pushed out thoughts of Remi and focused on what I had to do. I didn’t think about what would happen if Hailey wasn’t able to identify him or if Corey wasn’t the one.
I’d focus on the case, not leaving any stone unturned. I had to. I couldn’t afford to make another mistake.
Later that afternoon, Dexter stopped by my desk. “You satisfied with the photo array?”
We’d included Corey and any kid we’d booked recently with the similar build and coloring. “Yeah. Good job.”
“You want to sit this one out?”
“What? Why?” He’d caught on to what I was already worried about. I probably should take a step back.
Dexter’s expression was serious. “It’s personal. You don’t usually let this affect you.”
“I’ll be fine.” I hoped I would be, anyway.
“If it’s not one of these kids, we’ll find who it is. He’ll make a mistake eventually.”
“I hope you’re right.” For Remi’s sake.
Dexter walked away.
A text popped up on the screen of my phone. It was Remi.
Remi: Want to get together tonight?
Was that a good idea when I needed to focus on the job?
Colton: Not sure yet. There’s been a development in a case.
I didn’t want to get her hopes up if Corey wasn’t the guy. There wasn’t a follow-up text, so I put the phone away, focusing on what I needed to do.
