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“Aye,” he said rather abruptly. “It’s…well… I need to go.”
Rejection rolled through her, threatening to plow her off the chair she sat on. Olivia couldn’t understand the sudden shift in his mood. One moment he was drawing her out and the next, icy. With her chest tightening, she nodded without saying a word.
Was it somethin’ I said? Or somethin’ I didnae say?
Chapter 11
What am I doin’?
Conner scooted back from the table and dusted his hands on his trews. He pulled in a long deep breath trying not to make eye contact with Olivia. Slowly he rose as he cleared his throat.
“Will I see ye for dinner?” Olivia asked. He noticed her eyes were no longer on him, but focused on the napkin in her lap. It was clear by her dropped shoulders and slouched posture, he had struck a nerve with her.
“Of course,” he answered. Her face seemed to light up a bit with that response and seeing her happy by such a little gesture made his chest tighten. It wasn’t that he didn’t care for her, he did. But in the depths of his being he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that rattled his nerves.
Before she could ask any questions, Conner crossed the room. He could feel the coldness in the room as if all the happiness and warmth had drifted out of an open window. Swallowing hard, he grabbed the handle of the door and pulled it open. It took every ounce of his strength to step out into the hallway.
The click of the door shutting behind him made him shudder. Closing his eyes, he tried not to let Olivia’s face scar his mind too much. He knew his abrupt departure wasn’t something she wanted, he could see the way her eyes lingered on him. Yet, he knew if he stayed any longer, he would not be able to leave her side today.
I shouldnae lead her on. The less contact I have wit’ her the better. I can be polite and cordial wit’ her, but that is as far as it must go.
Conner pushed aside all his fantasies and desires that seemed to force all other thoughts from his mind. His inner fears wrangled with his desires. After all, he could so easily see himself storming back into her room and kissing her. But he knew all too well what would happen if he did such a thing. The kisses would turn fiery and passionate and before she knew what was going on, he’d have her on the bed.
Nay.
Conner’s hands balled into tight fists as he struggled with his thoughts. Pushing off, he marched down the hallway thinking of anything other than the way Olivia made him feel.
Tis for the best I keep my distance from her. She doesnae deserve such a fate. As much as I want to give her everythin’, I cannae allow her any deeper into me. I cannae lose her as I did my sister and maither.
Conner could feel the rift within him as he moved further from the one place he wanted to be the most. In his mind though, it was all for the best. She’d be safer without him so close. If his mother and sister were taken so easily, he didn’t want to put a target on Olivia as well. As long as he kept his distance from her, she’d be safe.
“Yer lookin’ a bit disheveled my friend, shillin’ for yer thoughts?”
Conner glanced over his shoulder and noticed he’d marched past his study and found himself in the Great Hall. Several of the people around him seemed to take notice of him well before he did them.
“Damon,” Conner gasped, stunned by his friend’s return. It had been years since he laid eyes on Damon, who had gone to handle family affairs in the country. Conner forced a smile as he moved to his best friend and patted him on his shoulder.
“What’s got ye so distracted? Or do I nae need to guess?” Damon wagged his eyebrows as his lips curled up into a devilish grin. He moved around Conner and stared at the painting on the wall of a mother and a daughter. Scrunching his eyebrows to the bridge of his nose, Damon smirked.
“Who is this?” Damon asked pointing to the painting. Conner glanced up to the image and sighed.
“My maither, Astrid, and my sister, Sadie. It was painted ten years ago.”
“Aye, I remember ye mentionin’ somethin’ about them to me. Are ye still searchin’ for them then?”
“I am,” Conner said. “And I will continue till I find them. But I’m more curious as to what brings ye here.”
“I was ridin’ through the lands and thought I’d stop to pay my respects to the Laird. And when I discovered ye were said Laird,” Damon chuckled. “Well, then I had to come.”
Conner’s smile stretched across his face and he opened his arms. “It is good to see ye again.”
“Aye, it’s always good to see me,” Damon said as he patted Conner on the back. “But ye ken what else I have seen? A bonnie lass roamin’ about the grounds.”
“My wife,” Conner said. He was stunned by how easily it was to slip back into his friendship with Damon. Although he hadn’t seen the man in nearly four years, it was as if nothing had changed. The bond they forged remained true and strong.
“So, ye’ve been hitched, have ye?” Damon said with a chuckle. “I can understand yer need for distraction. Whatever brought that tragedy on?”
“The king’s orders,” Conner answered as he found a bit of relief on seeing his friend’s face. He knew it would be nice to have Damon’s company and advice once more.
