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“I’m sorry,” Olivia mumbled into Conner’s chest.
“This was nae yer fault,” he said to her.
“I shouldnae have gone so far from the castle alone. I should have found somethin’ else to dae today. I ken ye have other things ye can be doin’ right now,” Olivia said, pushing away from him. Conner shook his head and cupped his hand to her face.
“There is nay place I need to be than right here, wit’ ye,” he said. Her red eyes bore into him, shattering the wall he built around his heart. He knew the consequences could have been far worse. Suddenly, the thought of what could have happened struck him like a slap across the face.
“Dae ye have any idea how brave ye are?” he said as he rubbed his thumb over the scratch on her cheek.
“But I wasnae strong enough,” Olivia said.
“Ye were though,” he said in the most tender voice he could muster. “I ken he grabbed yer legs, did he nae?”
Olivia nodded as her eyes darted to the buttons on his vest.
“He didnae violate ye, did he?”
“I wouldnae let him,” she answered much to his relief.
“See, what did I tell ye? Ye are a brave lass,” he said.
“I kicked him,” Olivia said as she began to sob. Her body rocked the bed as tears poured from her eyes. Conner knew there was nothing he could do but hold her.
“I will dae anythin’ ye need to make ye feel safe again,” he promised. “Just tell me what it is that I can dae and I’ll dae it.”
“What’s done is done,” she said as he noticed her reluctance to look at him.
“I’ll have that man’s head on a spike, I swear it,” he growled. “Nay one will dare touch ye like this again.”
“Ye cannae protect me every hour of every day,” she mumbled.
Conner felt a prick in his heart as he listened to her. She was right of course. But the thought of having her stolen from him opened the wounds in his soul he thought he had bandaged. Cupping his hands around her face, he drew her eyes to meet his.
“I could have lost ye today,” he said.
“Dae ye think I daenae ken that? I told ye I was sorry,” she said through gulps of air. “Still ye blame me for this, daenae ye?”
Conner grabbed her arms as he shook his head. “I’m nae blamin’ ye for anythin’. The attack, the argument, none of this was yer fault. It was all mine. I take the blame. God, dae ye nae see how much I care for ye? I’m nae mad ye went out for a ride, I’m angry wit’ myself for nae protectin’ ye.”
Conner dropped his head and flexed his jaw muscle. Olivia noticed the way the muscles in his neck twitched as he struggled to keep his emotions in check.
“I ken I said a great many things to ye this mornin’,” he said. His voice was icy and direct. “Ye came to me lookin’ for comfort and I accused yer family of doin’ harm. I see now I was wrong. So, very, very, wrong. Please, Olivia, forgive me. I was foolish to push ye away. Foolish to have said such hurtful things to ye. If I didnae, ye wouldnae have left. Ye wouldnae have been out there all alone havin’ to defend yerself against such a violent attack. If anyone is to blame it is me. This… this is my doin’.”
“This was nae yer fault,” Olivia said, lifting her hands to touch his face. Conner’s fingers curled around her wrists, refusing to let her touch him. His eyes shifted about, refusing to look at her.
“If I wasnae so selfish, or so determined, then ye wouldnae have gotten hurt.”
“Hush now,” Olivia said, trying to ease his troubles.
“Nay,” Conner said, bringing his eyes to meet hers. “Ye daenae understand. If I were there I would have killed him. Dae ye nae understand? I love ye, Olivia, and will dae whatever I must to keep ye safe.”
Before he could let out another apology, he felt her hand on his face. She tilted her head a bit as he tried to brush away the fresh streams of tears from her cheeks.
“Ye cannae blame yerself for this either, ye ken. This was nay more yer fault as it was mine.”
“I should have protected ye. Even if I was mad at ye this mornin’, I shouldnae have let ye just go alone.” A single tear slipped from Conner’s eye as he let out a heavy sigh.
“Ye have nay idea how much ye mean to me,” he mumbled. “The thought of losin’ ye… I daenae ken what it would dae to me.”
