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“Because it wasn’t right. Hell, even Ash was pissed off at me for it.”
“Ash?” Dex’s expression would have made Sloane laugh if he wasn’t feeling so shitty about what he’d done, not to mention how far he’d let it go. What kind of a partner was he?
“Yeah, he said if it had been anyone else on the team, I wouldn’t have done it, and he’s right. What you did was brave, kinda stupid too, but brave.”
“So why did you do it?”
“I’ve been asking myself the same question since the day of the bombing. I think a part of me wondered if you thought the rules didn’t apply to you because we’re sleeping together.” He wanted to tell Dex about the other part, the part that was scared shitless of a relationship.
“I’d never take advantage like that. I disobeyed the order because it wasn’t right. Not to me.”
“Dex, I understand that, I do, but sometimes we have to make decisions we don’t want to make or that don’t seem to make sense. Our objective and how we feel about it won’t always add up. The team is our family, and we do what we have to in order to protect it, but there are priorities. That’s the job.” It hurt to say it, but he had to, because it was the truth. “I have to do everything in my power to preserve civilian life, even if it means losing one of my own. Even if it means… losing you.”
“Still, it doesn’t make it any easier when it’s staring you in the face,” Dex murmured, his gaze everywhere else but on Sloane.
“No.”
“I didn’t mean to make your job harder than it is.”
Sloane shook his head. “This is on me. You said the structure was sound, I should have trusted you. That’s part of my job too.” He needed to make some changes, to take more chances. Now was as good a time as any to start. “I did learn something else from all this.”
“Oh?” Dex did look at him then.
Sloane was pouting, but he couldn’t help it. Thinking back to the last few days and how it had felt without Dex. It sucked. “Yeah, I don’t like how it feels.”
“How what feels?”
“Fighting like this.”
Dex looked surprised by his admission. “So… what you’re saying is you like having me around?”
“You know I do.” He studied Dex’s guarded expression. The guy was crap at trying to hide his feelings. “Don’t you?”
Dex gave him a warm smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah.”
“Cael’s right. You’re a shitty liar.” Sloane shifted closer to him and slipped an arm around him, tentatively pulling him closer, relieved when Dex went along with it. “It’s okay. You’re right. I could do a better job of showing you. It’s not just about the sex. I apologize if I gave you that impression.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about the sex,” Dex said, holding back a smile.
“Me neither.?
??
Dex smiled, and this time it reached his sparkling-blue eyes. He gave Sloane’s shoulder a playful bump, his voice teasing. “Did you miss me?”
God, the guy had no idea. “I couldn’t sleep.” He frowned knowing he probably looked and sounded pathetic. “And yeah, I did miss you.”
“You’ve ruined Journey for me, you know that? Anytime I hear it, all I can see is you.”
Sloane was taken aback. He knew exactly what that meant for Dex. He cupped Dex’s cheek, using his thumb to stroke the stubble growing in. Now that he looked closer, he could see the bags under Dex’s eyes, and he had a feeling it wasn’t just from the case. It looked like Sloane wasn’t the only one who’d had trouble sleeping since the day of the bombing. He leaned in hesitantly, allowing Dex time to pull away, or tell him to get the hell out if he wanted. Instead, Dex leaned into him so their lips pressed together.
Dex’s scent reminded Sloane how crazy Dex made him feel. He slipped his hand around the back of Dex’s neck, pulling him harder against him, their kiss quickly turning heated. He tried to slow down—for fuck’s sake, it had been a few days—but he couldn’t. Dex’s scent, his taste, the feel of his body pressed against Sloane’s was hitting all the right buttons, and Sloane wanted more. He pulled off Dex’s shirt. “How about a little Journey?”
“You’re asking for Journey?” Dex breathed, his fingers digging into Sloane’s arms. “Wow, you really did miss my sexing you up.”
“You have no idea,” Sloane replied with a chuckle, his eyes glued to Dex as he tapped the tablet and raised the volume. When Dex turned to him, his smile stole Sloane’s breath away.
“I think maybe I do.”
