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“S’okay.”
They sat there in companionable silence when an old memory crept up on Sloane, and he started chuckling. “Remember when we were kids, we used to play Indiana Jones, and you’d throw pillows at me, and we’d pretend they were boulders falling from the mountains?”
Ash laughed, and for the first time in a long time, his best friend’s smile reached his amber eyes. “How could I forget? You were so obsessed with those movies, wanting to be Indiana Jones. It’s all you talked about. Remember when Shultzon got you the hat for Christmas? You were so excited. I thought you were going to hurt something.”
Sloane couldn’t help his laugh. “That’s right! I forgot about the hat. Who didn’t want to be Indy back then?”
“Me,” Ash replied with a grin.
“That’s right. Because you wanted to be….” Sloane trailed off, and he smiled at Ash’s cringe. His friend’s face turned red reminding Sloane of how, once upon a time, his world had revolved around Ash, and Ash’s world had revolved around his. They’d huddled together under the blankets while the storm that was their lives threatened to break them, promising each other they’d never let go.
“Just say it,” Ash muttered, averting his gaze.
“The Man in Black, a.k.a. Westley.”
“So what?” Ash’s lips turned up into a wide smile. “He was cool. Running around swashbuckling, fighting rodents of unusual size. I got to wear a mask and carry around a sword. You had a whip. Did you know you were gay then?”
“Fuck off,” Sloane laughed, giving him a playful shove. “Dick.” His expression softened when he thought back to those days. “I remember when you got sick from one of the tests and they kept you in the infirmary for observation. When you got back, I said I thought I’d never see you again, and what did you do? You grabbed my Indy hat, popped it on your head, and said….”
“I’m like bad penny, I always turn up.” Ash smiled warmly. “I remember.”
“It became a thing after that. When I’d get scared, you’d say it to reassure me. Our secret.”
They both reminisced about their youth, talking of only the good times. When they’d jumped on their beds wearing capes, pretending they could fly. They’d painted their wardroom to look like a forest with a night sky on the ceiling complete with stars and constellations. Then they’d lie on either his or Ash’s bed and stare up at the star-covered ceiling, their nightlight serving as a campfire as they talked about how one day they would sleep under real stars.
“I can’t believe we were ever that young,” Ash said, his voice soft.
“I know.” Sloane tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. “Ash?”
Ash’s eyes darkened, his expression turning cold. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to.”
“You’re a lot of things, but a traitor isn’t one of them. I don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, but promise me you’ll be careful.” Whatever was happening, Ash wasn’t a traitor. Sloane would bet his life on it.
“Shouldn’t you be arresting me?”
Sloane shrugged. “I have no proof.”
Ash arched an eyebrow at him in surprise. “But you have a witness. And not just any witness, a fellow agent.”
“No, I don’t.” Sloane looked out ahead of him, aware of Ash studying him. “What happened with Cael?”
“Fuck, man. What is it with you and Daley? First you’re connected at the hip, now you’re thinking the same? I swear if you start eating gummy bears I’m going to punch your lights out.”
“Ash.”
“None of your business, all right?”
Sloane turned to meet his friend’s gaze. He might be willing to give Ash the benefit of the doubt, but things couldn’t continue the way they were going on his team. Destructive Delta had the highest rate of success of any other team in Unit Alpha, and it reflected in their budget, the leeway they were given, and the trust put in them to get the job done. Sloane couldn’t allow his team’s performance to suffer, and right now Destructive Delta was teetering dangerously close to being exposed. “Since it’s happening on my time and involves my team, it is my business. You know I can’t let Sparks find out what’s going on. If she gets wind, we’ll be under the microscope. I won’t allow Destructive Delta’s reputation to fall to ruin. How could you say all that shit to Cael? You’re crazy about him.”
“What the fuck are you implying?”
Ash’s defensive tone wasn’t lost on Sloane. “Come on, man.” Sloane had been happy to ignore it as long as Ash did, but that didn’t stop it from being true.
“I’m not gay,” Ash insisted.
“Well you sure as shit aren’t straight, so don’t you fucking dare. That might fly with someone else, but not with me. We’ve been through too much shit together for you to stand there and lie to me, to my face. You can deny it to yourself and everyone else. You can stay in the closet if you feel you need to. Refuse all the labels, date whoever the hell you want, I’m not going to judge you. I never have. But don’t, don’t sit there and tell me you’re fucking straight. You’ve got a
thing for Cael. Either step up, or someone else will.”
