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“What?” Dex didn’t like where this argument was going. It sounded too much like all the other arguments they’d had about his job. The ones always resulting in Dex sleeping downstairs on the couch and then having to somehow find a way to make it all okay again the next day.
Lou’s hazel eyes pleaded with him. “When you get obsessed over a case, you’re like a different person. You push your family away, your friends, everyone who cares about you. I know you want to see this through. You want justice. But it shouldn’t come at the cost of what you love.”
Dex frowned, not liking the way Lou’s words cut through him. “It’s not.” He wasn’t pushing Sloane away. Was he?
“Oh, really? So, Sloane knows you’re here? He knows what you’re doing?”
Dex opened his mouth but quickly closed it. What could he say? There was no point in lying. Lou would see right through him. Lou’s stunned expression made him feel all the worse.
“Wow.” Lou shook his head in disbelief at him.
“Lou, don’t.” He watched a familiar blazing look come into Lou’s eyes. The one he used to say he inherited from his mother, along with her temper. It was usually followed by a flurry of hand gestures and finger movements.
“No, you know what? We’re not together anymore, Dex. You don’t get to ‘don’t’ me. You’re going to hear this whether you like it or not.”
Dex tried to pacify his ex, but there was no point. When Lou was truly fucked off about something, all you could do was weather the storm and hope you made it through without a cow dropping on your head.
“You’re a good man and a good agent, Dex, but let’s face it. We know what this is really about, what it’s always been about.”
Dex arched an eyebrow at him. This should be interesting. “Enlighten me.”
“It’s about your parents.”
“What the fuck?” Of everything he’d been expecting Lou to throw his way, ego, stubbornness, general fuckery, he’d never expected Lou to bring up his parents.
“They’re the reason you went into law enforcement. They’re the reason you’re terrified of losing anyone close to you, of letting the bad guys win. The idea there are criminals out there who haven’t been brought to justice eats away at you, and if someone hurts someone you love, you won’t stop until they’re either behind bars or dead, no matter what it costs.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“You being dead?” Lou’s temper flared. “Of course it is, you jackass!”
Dex had never seen Lou so worked up. “I didn’t mean the dead part. The rest of it. What good cop doesn’t want the same thing?”
“Yes, but what are you willing to give up for it, Dex? Your family deserves to have you in their lives. Sloane? You love him. Do you want to give up the chance at a future with him before it’s properly begun? This isn’t just you risking your life while on the job. This is you obsessing and taking unnecessary risks. You can’t save the world. You can’t save your parents.”
“You know what? I don’t have to stand here and listen to this bullshit.” Dex turned away only to have Lou get in his face again. What the hell had made him think this was a good idea. When Lou got something stuck in his craw, he was relentless.
“You’re pissed off because you know it’s true. You play tough guy, making jokes to hide the anger you feel in your heart because they were taken from you, the men responsible never found. And this?” Lou motioned around him. “This won’t make the pain go away. It won’t bring your parents back or change what’s happened. Stop living in the past and think about your future. Your parents are gone, Dex, and it’s tragic, but you’re lucky enough to have found a new equally loving family. You have an adoptive father who would give his life for you. A little brother who looks up to you like you’re the greatest hero who ever lived, and a brooding Therian who needs you more than he’s ready to admit. Don’t take them for granted, Dex, or one day you’ll turn around and find them gone, and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
Dex was too stunned to speak, his heart and ego feeling as bruised as his ribs. Did he really take his dad and brother for granted? He loved them more than anything. There was nothing he wouldn’t give for them. It wasn’t about his parents, it was about justice. It always had been, hadn’t it? A tear rolled down his cheek, and he stood numbly as Lou wiped it away with his thumb.
“Go home, Dex.”
Dex nodded, his voice quiet when he spoke. “You’re right. I should go.”
“SLOANE?”
Sloane was surprised to hear Lou’s voice on the other end. He’d finished washing up after his takeout dinner when his phone had gone off. Stupidly, he’d thought it was Dex. “Lou? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m worried about Dex.”
Carefully, he lowered himself onto the couch, his gut twisting at Lou’s words. “What happened?” Was it the reason Dex hadn’t called or texted? Had something happened? Sloane told himself not to panic.
“I know he’s going to be pissed at me, but I can’t watch him do this to himself. Not again.”
“Talk to me, Lou.”
“He’s been working and sleeping from an empty office in the basement of Clove Catering. I swear when he asked me if he could use it, I didn’t know what it was for. He’s barely sleeping, barely eating, comes in at all hours. Living off sandwiches, donuts, and coffee, if that. He’s been crashing on the couch. It’s heartbreaking.”
