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I pop my eyes open, and they land on the house next door through the window. I turn my head to Tavers.
“Can you stay with Doe?” I ask, suddenly needing to do something.
His eyes move to the window then turn back to me. “You know I would, but I can’t right now. Told Captain I was coming to tell you in person about the tip not panning out, but I’m on the clock and need to get back to the station.” His brows pull down. “What are you thinking?”
My fingers grip the cloth of the couch, and I grind my molars before responding. Pushing against the couch, I stand. “I need to do something.”
“Don’t do anything stupid, Niko,” he warns.
I scowl at him. “Like what?” I grit out.
“I don’t know. I just know this news is getting to your head. Don’t do anything stupid,” he repeats.
I walk to the bar and swipe my keys off the surface before heading to the door. “Fuck you, Tavers,” I throw over my shoulder, not caring I’m being a dick. “I’m not a fucking idiot.” I pull open the door and step outside. “Lock up when you leave.”
I close the door behind me then take the steps two at a time and head to the house next door. Anxiety and nervousness run through my body as I walk up the steps and stand in front of the door. I debate on just walking inside or knocking first. It takes me a minute to do both. I rap my knuckles hard against the door twice then reach for the knob. It’s locked, which doesn’t surprise me because I told Doe to keep it locked at all times. The neighborhood has cleaned up, but it’s still good to be cautious, especially since the shooter from a few weeks ago still hasn’t been caught.
Using the key on my key ring, I unlock the door, pull it open, and step inside. Immediately, the alarm starts to beep and I disarm it. The smell of fresh paint immediately assaults me, momentarily surprising me as I still expect to smell the stale stench of cigarette smoke and body odor. That smell hasn’t been around for months, but I still expect it every time I step foot in this house.
The living room is empty except for an old couch. I walk through it into the kitchen, which only holds a small card table and a single chair. I told Doe we would go shopping for some furniture in the next day or two. I can’t really expect her to live in a house with this minimal furniture.
Leaving the kitchen behind, I walk down the hallway. The old door on the left haunts me as I pass, and I try my best to ignore it. Seeing that it’s still closed tight and doesn’t appear disturbed does nothing to settle the nerves of someone else living here.
I come to a stop at the door across from Aislin’s old room. I didn’t want Doe in her mom’s old room because she deserves more than to sleep in a room that’s held many, many depraved acts. From the partially open door, I spot Doe on the single bed. It’s actually my old bed from a kid that my parents stored in the basement. She’s sitting up with her back against the headboard, her arms wrapped around her legs, with the book we started reading together in the hospital. My heart constricts because she looks so small, almost childlike, on the small mattress. She’s put on a lot of weight but not enough to be considered healthy yet.
Betsy’s lying on the bed beside her with her head on Doe’s feet. Her head lifts right as I lightly tap on the door. Doe jumps, and her eyes appear frightened when she first darts them to the door.
“Hey,” I rumble, pushing open the door the rest of the way and stepping inside.
The scared look disappears, and she sets the book down beside her hip then rests her chin on her raised knees. “Hey.”
I pull in a breath then release it, pushing away the fury still very much rushing through my veins at the news Tavers just delivered. The last thing I want to do is come across as angry in front of her.
“There’s somewhere I need to go. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
Her eyes widen, and the fear that flashes through them leaves me feeling like a dick. I know she holds a certain amount of trust for me, and for me to leave her behind in a strange place with no one around except Betsy is insensitive and a bastard thing to do. But there’s something I need to do. It’s a need I can’t ignore right now, and it’s the only thing that’ll keep my mind from going fucking crazy.
Her lip trembles when she says softly, “O-okay.”
I step farther into the room, and her eyes track me as I come to stand at the end of the bed. “Nothing and no one will get you here. You’re safe. And Betsy’s here to ensure that as well.” That’s not the first time I’ve told her that since she was discharged and came to stay here. With her not having her memory, I’m sure it’s something hard for her to grasp and believe.
She gives me a single nod, but the fear is still apparent in her eyes. I hate that fucking look. Her arms tighten around her legs as if she’s trying to draw into herself and make herself smaller. It breaks my heart she feels the need to do that.
I take a step back from the bed, the place I need to be calling my name.
“A couple of hours, Doe. That’s it; then I’ll be back. I promise.”
She opens her mouth to say something then snaps it closed. I clench my fists and turn around, hating myself for leaving her but knowing it’s for the best right now. Betsy is with her and seems to have taken a strong liking to her. That’ll be enough for a couple of hours. I need to release some of the boiling anger I have riding inside me, and this is the only thing I feel will help.
I make it halfway across the living room when feet quickly squeak across the clean floor.
“Wait!” Doe calls out, and I turn around. I’m almost knocked back by the sheer terror now marring her face. “Please,” she pleads, her hands clasped together in front of her chest, tears swimming in her wide eyes. “Please don’t leave me. I can’t…” She stops and shakes her head then finishes with a broken whisper, “I’m scared.”
I’m frozen on the spot. Not because I don’t know what answer to give her, but what the utter devastation and fear on her face does to me. This woman isn’t just scared; she’s fucking petrified, and that sends a pain so sharp to my chest it feels like someone’s stabbed me with a dull knife and is sawing down my sternum. It physically hurts to see her this way. As much as I need to leave and do this on my own, there’s no fucking way I can leave her. There’s no telling what state she would be in when I get back, and that would not only affect her but me as well.
“Okay, Doe.” I keep my voice low for fear it may sound raw. “You can come with me.” The relief I see as soon as the words leave my mouth says I’ve made the right choice.
I walk to her slowly and hold out my hand. She grabs it without hesitation, which shocks the shit out of me because she’s never willingly touched me on her own. It also shows just how much she doesn’t want to be left alone. Her hand feels warm in mine, and there’s a slight tremble. I grip it tight, showing her silently I won’t let go.
