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“But you had your suspicions,” I state and he answers like it was a question.
“Yes.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me? You were there when I talked to Officer Miles. Twice! You had two times to bring it up.”
“I don’t know,” he admits but it’s not good enough.
“I remember when he said that they didn’t have any leads. You looked nervous and then relieved when he said no. Why didn’t you say something then? Why didn’t you tell us or just tell me that you thought that it was your brother?”
“I… It felt like I was betraying him. I just wanted to believe the best of him. I wanted to believe that he had changed.”
I look away from him. I don’t know what to do now.
“I was just hoping that I was wrong, Iris,” Arlo says and I know that he’s pleading with me to believe him, for this to be alright but it’s not.
I can kind of see his point of view but the betrayal is still too fresh for me to admit that. I’m a hormonal mess and I’m stressed to the max. I just want my life to go back to normal and I know that it’s not fair but I think that I’m taking some of my panic and worry out on him now.
The logical part of my brain knows that I should probably sit down and try to listen to him and we can talk this out but the logical part of me isn’t in control anymore.
“Well, you weren’t,” I say and I can hear the fire in my voice.
“I’m sorry, Iris.”
“Me too.”
“Are we alright?” He asks hopefully and he sounds desperate. I know that he’s picking up on my mood, that the fact that I haven’t hugged him yet or even let him near me is setting off warning bells in his head.
“No. How can I trust you now? You knew that it could have been him. You knew what those antiques meant to me! I opened up to you and you kept something huge from me.”
I’m sure that my friends can hear everything that’s going on. I’m not exactly being quiet, but I can’t help it.
I’ve never felt this way before. I’m pissed. I thought that I could trust Arlo. I thought that things between us were perfect and meanwhile he’s been keeping this huge thing from me.
“You’re blaming me and punishing me for something that my brother did. His actions aren’t mine, Iris,” he says, his cheeks turning red with anger.
“You’re not innocent in all of this. You knew how broken up I was about losing those pieces. You knew what they meant to me and instead of doing everything that you could to help me get them back, you kept your mouth shut to avoid hurting your thieving brother,” I snap at him and he rocks back on his heels.
“Put yourself in my position. Would you have told me?” He snaps and something in me snaps too.
“Yes. As soon as I realized that I was falling in love with you, I would have told you. Especially if I knew that my brother was capable of it. You chose him. Now I’m choosing me.”
I open the front door for him and he stares at me with wide eyes. It’s then that I realize what I said.
I told him that I was falling in love with him. It’s true but this isn’t how I thought that I would tell him.
“Please leave,” I tell him firmly.
I know that he doesn’t want to. I know that he wants to keep arguing but I can’t do it.
My hormones are so out of whack and now my emotions are too.
“We’ll talk later,” he says and I shake my head but don’t bother to say anything in response.
He disappears into the night and I watch as his taillights head down my driveway and disappear.
“Iris,” Madelyn says softly and I look over my shoulder at my friends.
As the first tears start to fall, they gather around me and I let them hold me and try to console me as I fall apart in their arms.
