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The day takes an unbelievably long time to finish. I’m thankful I don’t have practice to throw on top of it. As soon as I leave the building to meet Jasmine, my heart races. I’m spending an entire weekend alone with Marisol.
“Why do you look all panicky?” Jasmine asks as we drive home.
“What?” I’ve never lied to Jasmine, so I try for partial truths. “I decided to visit the University with Marisol while you’re with Gran this weekend and it’s making it real. She’s leaving in a year.” Even though she’s Jasmine’s best friend, she’s one of mine as well. And of course I told Jaz where I was going to be this weekend. Just because I don’t want to tell her about my deep secretive feelings doesn’t mean I’m lying about my whereabouts.
Jasmine’s eyes soften as she glances away. Not until that moment do I realize she’d be without a friend our entire senior year. “I know,” she mumbles. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, too. I’m going to miss her so much.”
“You’ll still have me.” I wiggle my eyebrows, lightening the mood.
She pats my arm and laughs. “That I do, brother. That I do.”
“Are you packed for your trip to Gran’s?”
Her face transforms. “Yes! It’s been a long time since I’ve stayed over and spent time with her. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Good. I’m glad. Are you taking my car?”
She stops and stares wide eyed, like I’ve gone insane. “Who are you and what have you done with my twin?”
I roll my eyes. “Stop acting like I never let you drive her.”
“One time! And backing out of the driveway does not count!”
“It does too. It’s more than anyone else’s got.”
She calms, laughing. “You have a point, even though it’s a stupid one.”
We pull into the driveway and park the car. The love of my life. I love my car. Like, really love my car. Guilt is a beast that lives inside, controlling my actions like a puppet master, which is why I turn off the car and dangle the keys from my pointer finger.
“Here are the keys. Please don’t kill her. I just had her washed and waxed.”
“I would never,” she scolds, completely offended, because she may love Blue Lightning more than even me. “Now get your shit out of my car.”
Thirty minutes later, my car and sister are speeding off to Grans. I’ve packed all my clothes and shoes for the weekend, but still need to shower. Before I hop in, though, I want to give my dad a call and let him know what our plans are for the weekend. I grab my phone and plop onto the bed.
“Hello.”
“Hey, it’s me. I wanted to let you know I’m going with Marisol to University, and Jasmine told you about Gran, right?”
I can hear the smile in his voice when he replies. “Yes, she did. I love that she stays with Grandma still. I know she enjoys Jasmine’s visits.”
His comment draws a smile to my lips. Jaz and Gran have always been close. I’m not jealous, at least not since we were six, when I realized Margret was different with us. “Yeah,” I clear my throat, thinking back to our childhood. “So, I’ll be gone until Sunday. Just wanted to give you a heads up.”
“All right, son. Have a wonderful weekend… and be good.” He finishes as an afterthought.
“Thanks. Hey, one more thing.”
“Hmm?”
“What’s going on with Margret? Are you going to kick her out?” I want to know what our future holds.
My dad sighs, not pissed, but tired and worn down. “I’m having the papers drawn up for a divorce. I’ll give her a settlement if she completes treatment for her… issues.” He pauses a moment before continuing. At one point, my parents were very much in love. He probably misses that more than I can understand. “It’s almost finished. I’m sorry for putting it off for so long. I was just hoping that she would change, that things would go back to the way they used to be between us. I’ll always love the woman she once was, and I’m still trying to get over losing her.”
His words rock me. To hear he still cares is shocking, an eye opener. “Dad, I…” What do you say when the love of your life ceases to exist, only to remain a soulless shell within your daily orbit? Because I was so focused on Jasmine, and how she’s coping, I never noticed the anguish in my dad’s eyes or the tremble in his voice.
“No,” he admonishes. “This is right. I know it, and you know it too.”
“I love you, Dad.”
“Love you too, son.” His voice chokes.
I hang up and lay back on my bed. That was a way deeper conversation than I expected before leaving this weekend.
