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“Becca invited us to a party tonight. You wanna go?”
“Are you sure the invite was for both of us?” The snotty tone in my voice shows my hand of jealousy. Poker never was my best game.
His head tilts to the side, studying me until a slow smile breaks across his lips in satisfaction. “Probably not, but I’m not going unless you come with me. I made that clear to her as well.”
It’s not until he elbows me I realize he’s waiting for an answer. “I don’t know. I don’t feel like going anywhere.”
“Come on, Mare!” He practically yells. “When are we going to be here again, together?”
Now it’s my turn to study him. Why’s he so mad? “What’s going on with you, Jace?”
He lets out a frustrated growl and runs his hands roughly through his hair. “I have a problem.”
He separates us from the group, tugging me toward a large tree, and blocking us from sight.
“What’s going on?” I’m a little concerned at this point.
“This!” he growls loudly. “I’m sick of this.”
Does he mean me? “I’m sorry. I’ll try not to?”
Jace slams his mouth to mine, attacking my lips as if his life depends on the air I breathe. After the initial shock, I push back, and give as good as I’m getting. Everything I’ve been holding back, everything that’s coiling inside, is being poured into our kiss. His tongue is asking for permission to continue as he caresses it against my lower lip, enticing me to open. I comply without pause, but that’s not enough. I want him closer. I need him closer. My arms wrap around his neck, as if they’ve done it a thousand times, pulling his hardness against my softness. As if he senses my need, he pins me against the trees uneven, scratchy surface.
The discomfort is easily ignored when he’s presses his hips to mine. Gone are my worries of moving away to school, of my inhibitions about our relationship. Right now, everything seems right in the world, like all of my worries will solve themselves.
My fingers trail the nape of his neck, into the shaggy strands of ebon hair, where I tighten my grip, and claim him as mine. He growls into my mouth and trails his hands up and down my body, like it’s the last time he’ll get to touch me.
“Ahem.” Someone fake-coughs to our right, not so subtly, trying to get our attention.
Jace doesn’t pay them any mind, continuing to nip at my lips a few more times before slowly turning to see who’s interrupting us.
“What?” he says, rather rudely.
“Um, do you guys want to just meet us later?” I recognize Ruthanne’s voice. She’s the shy girl on the team.
Jace doesn’t hesitate when he replies, “Yes.” He turns back to me, as if she doesn’t exist, and devours my soul with his azure gaze.
We stare at each other for a long time, neither one of us willing to break the spell and move apart. We’re still touching from head to toe, our hearts playing tag with their rapid beating; my new favorite game. I’m being rude by ignoring the girls who invited me here for a tour and I know it, but honestly, the tour is over. I’ve seen everything I need to make a decision. This is the college for me.
With that realization, I clear my throat, ready to get back to the real world. For now. “Jace?”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” I reply, confused.
“Don’t make this less than it is.” He leans down and puts his forehead to mine. “I want this. You want this. That should be all that matters. I can’t keep pretending that there’s nothing between us. It’s eating me alive.”
I’m speechless.
“Say something, Mare. You’re killing me here.”
“I’m scared.” Holy shit! I just admitted it out loud. “What if it doesn’t work?” I whisper my biggest fear. “What if Jasmine hates me for taking you away? What about Alex? There are so many unanswered questions. Too many consequences if this doesn’t work.”
He’s shaking his head before I’m finished speaking. “I’ve asked myself the same questions a thousand times. So many that I thought my head would explode. But what it boils down to is, how do you feel? What do you want? Because I’m done letting all our worries dictate the one thing that I found that’ll make me happy. You are that one thing.”
“I don’t know.” I look away, ashamed, too much of a coward to acknowledge the building chemistry between us.
Jace pushes off the tree violently, pissed as hell. “Fine!” he throws his arms up in the air. “When you decide if I’m important enough to take a chance on, you know where to find me.” He turns and storms off.
“Jace, wait!” I call after him, heart bleeding on my sleeve, but he ignores the outburst and continues.
I slide down the tree trunk, carving scratches into my back, a reminder of the pain slicing through the beating organ in my chest. My face falls to my hands, heart aching and weeping for the rejection tearing chunks out of our souls. Fates bitch-slapping reality against my face and along with it, the harsh truth. Jasmine or Alex may deny our relationship at first, might even be pissed off enough to stop talking to us, but in the end, I think they’d understand. The real reason… the real obstacles is plain and simple. I’m scared.
After collecting myself and heading back to our hotel to wallow in misery of my own making, I can’t help but feel ashamed of my actions, of pushing him away when he’s struggling with the same cacophony of emotions. And who knows, by the way he left, there may not be an us to discuss.
I hate crying in public. Everyone around stares and believes it to be their business. Reaching the hotel couldn’t come fast enough. Besides, I have a party to attend tonight. A pleasant distraction after the shitstorm I’ve created of my personal life is exactly what I need.
