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CHAPTER16
The buzzfrom having danced for the first time all year dissipated quickly. As soon as she left the bathroom, Lauren was drenched in guilt. She should be having that kind of fun with Jenny. She should want to have that kind of fun with Jenny.
After finding her parents on the packed dance floor, they told her that Jenny needed a break from the loud music and had gone outside. The information was confusing.
There was no outside. Just a parking lot.
Searching the entrance first, and then the parking area, Lauren looked everywhere for Jenny. Every second that she didn’t find her added to her snowballing anxiety.
Had she seen her dancing and gotten angry? She hadn’t meant to upset her when she danced with Sylvie. It wasn’t like she’d hidden away in some dark corner.
She was convinced that she hadn’t done anything wrong, but guilt made her queasy anyway. Her heart knew the truth her mind had been resisting for a long time.
Lauren followed one of the waitstaff out a side door. There, she found Jenny sitting on a bench near some garbage bins. Off to the side, a couple of people working the party took their smoke breaks.
“Hey, where have you been?” Lauren asked as she approached.
Jenny looked up from the glow of her phone. She smiled the kind of perfunctory smile that didn’t spread beyond her lips. “I just needed to get out of there. I don’t know how all that noise doesn’t drive you crazy.”
Noise?She thought the live music was really good. Certainly not noise.
“I’ve started looking for some options for our trip,” Jenny said brightly, her expression joyful for the first time all evening. “I was thinking Big Sur. At the end of May the weather is just perfect for a break from this heat.”
Lauren took the space next to Jenny on the bench. “May?” Lauren crossed her legs, her feet hurt from dancing and standing. “I was thinking something way sooner. Maybe for Christmas—”
“Oh, I meant this May. Like in a couple of weeks.” Jenny showed her the dates she’d entered into a travel site.
“I need more time to plan—”
“Can’t your parents just take care of the business for a week? They certainly made do without you when you were in California.” Jenny’s tone was a bitter herb blasting Lauren’s palate.
“That was a different time,” she started to explain again about how she was earning her place as the head of the business before shifting to the more pressing conflict. “And anyway, that’s during the Whitney. Did you forget?”
“Oh, right.” Jenny dropped her phone into her lap like there was no point in looking at travel options. As if that was the only time she could get away. “Another week where I don’t see you and can’t make any plans to go anywhere. Another week where I’m stuck here alone.”
Jenny was so cold, Lauren barely recognized her.
Struggling for the right words to say, Lauren turned to face her. Jenny kept her attention on the garbage bins behind Lauren.
“I’ll make more time,” Lauren promised, unsure of how she could but maybe she could forgo sleep. Just for the week.
Jenny shook her head. “I don’t want you to do that.” When she finally looked at Lauren, her eyes were brimming with unshed tears. “You already work so hard, and I do see that you’re always making an effort.” She dropped her shoulders, resigned to their fate. “This just isn’t working, Lauren. Miami isn’t home for me. These aren’t my friends. This isn’t my family. And I really hate this humidity,” she added with a weak smile as a pair of tears escaped their confines.
Lauren pulled her into a hug, regret crushing her chest. “I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked as she cried. She was sorry on so many levels, she just couldn’t describe them all.
“Me too,” Jenny replied.
After a long time spent talking outside, Jenny confessed that she’d reached out to her old job in Los Angeles and told the tenant in her condo that she wouldn’t be renewing the lease. She’d been planning her return to California for months but hadn’t known how to broach the subject.
Apparently, Lauren wasn’t the only one who’d been wrestling with the exhausting task of making differently shaped pieces fit.
Jenny had never broken up with anyone before. A strange honor.
