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“Good.” What better way to wait, than cocooned in Aaron’s strong arms, his large biceps encircling her waist like he was never going to let her go.
There was so much she needed to tell him. So much she needed to know. She decided to start with the basics. “How did you find me?” she mumbled into his neck.
He gave a low laugh; the sound rumbling through his chest. “Chester helped me,” he replied. “We both owe a lot to the bloody horse. Although we need to cure him of his phobia of snakes,” he added, and she lifted her head to stare at him.
What was he going on about?
“I rode him to the top of the hill with the repeater station,” he said by way of explanation. “I got your location on the GPS up there and decided it’d be quicker to ride cross-country than to take a car. Not sure if that was the right decision now,” he added darkly. “Anyway, we were almost to Chase’s camp, and the bloody horse saw a snake, reared, and I fell off.”
She gave a low snigger, which was about all the levity she could muster, but let him carry on with his story.
“So, I walked the rest of the way and found the camp, right where the blue dot said you’d be. It took me a while to figure out what’d happened to you. But I finally worked out the puzzle and started to follow your footprints right up to this pile of rocks. Ta-dah!”
But he’d left out some vitally important points. Like where was Chase, and how did he know that the crazy stalker man wasn’t still out there?
“How do you know Chase isn’t following us?”
Aaron sucked in a breath. Why was he hesitating? Oh, God, had Aaron killed him? Flown into a viscous rage and killed him with his bare hands? Was that why he was hesitating?
“Is he dead?” she asked, voice small as she rasped the question out between parched lips.
“Yes. I found him lying in the dry creek bed, the empty gun by his side.”
Her brain scrambled to untangle what he’d just said. “He was dead? How?” If Aaron hadn’t killed him, then had he shot himself? Or… Oh, shit. It suddenly dawned on her. “I killed him?” she whispered, disbelief in every pore. She wasn’t capable of such a crime. Was she? “But I only wanted to make him let me go. He’s dead?” The concept was hard to grasp.
“Yes, Jules,” Aaron said soothingly, running a hand down her back. “You’ll never have to worry about that bastard again. It was self-defense. I’ll attest to that, and so will the police, so you don’t need to worry about any repercussions.”
“He’s dead?” she repeated, rolling the words around in her mouth, trying to decipher their meaning, almost failing to register his last words. Of course, it was self-defense, she wasn’t worried about that part. “So, he’s not coming after me ever again?” This was a good thing. It meant she was finally free.
“Like I said, you’re safe now. You can go back to Stormcloud and live your life free and clear,” he said.
“Oh.” She should feel elated, but suddenly more tears pricked at the back of her eyelids. “I’m free,” she said, but the words released a torrent of unexpected tears. Because the full impact of that fact finally came to her. If Chase was dead, then there was no reason for Aaron to stay anymore. He’d pack up his belongings and head back to the city, back to his life and his job. And she’d be left alone once more. The thought made her tremble with the sudden loss. “But I don’t want you to go,” she wailed, lifting her head to the night sky, like a dingo howling at the moon. “I finally found you, after all this time, and now you’re going to leave me.” A small part of her brain understood that she was being overly dramatic, and a complete hypocrite, and perhaps he didn’t want to hear this, but she couldn’t help herself. She was wasting more of her precious liquid by crying again.
Aaron tensed slightly beneath her. “What? Sorry. You’re not making a lot of sense, Jules.”
“I don’t want to have kids, but if I did ever have kids, it’d be with you,” she wailed again, pushing away from his chest, so she could look him in the eyes.
“I don’t understand?” he said, searching her face in the darkness as if it’d reveal the answer to all this irrational talk.
“I know I sound like a lunatic, but I can’t help it.” Large, fat drops ran down her cheeks, and her chest was heaving as she dragged in large gulps of air. Jeez, she was working herself up into a state, and she had no real idea why. Except that the thought of losing Aaron was like a knife to the heart. How did she explain this to him?
He was patting her back like she was a toddler who needed to be calmed.
Sucking in a few fortifying breaths, she tried to calm her racing heart. “When I first met you, back in Dalgety, I knew, even back then, that one day I was going to marry you, and have kids with you.” She held up a hand to forestall his reaction. “I can’t tell you why, but I had this certainty, this unadulterated feeling that it was going to be that way. That’s all.”
“You never told me that,” he replied, not accusing, merely curious.
“Of course, I didn’t. You would’ve thought I was bonkers.” She swiped a hand across her face, and it came away all gritty as well as wet. She must look a sight, face covered in dirt, and now crying like a maniacal teenager. Lucky it was dark, and Aaron couldn’t see her well. She kept talking, it helped her work through the concept in her head at the same time as she spoke the words. “It was something I felt in the marrow of my bones, but I couldn’t express it at the time. And after you left, I put it down to stupid teenage fantasy. A dream that all girls have when they first fall in love.” She smiled, and it hurt her cracked lips, but it was her first real smile since Chase had abducted her, and it felt good. “But in all the years afterwards, I could never find the right guy, never settle down. I always had some excuse as to why they weren’t good enough. I never blamed you,” she said quickly, in case he took it the wrong way, that wasn’t what she intended, for him to feel culpable. Because, at the time, she wouldn’t even allow herself to admit it. She’d been determined that she wouldn’t let the loss of Aaron control her life. Determined to find her true soul mate, who must be out there somewhere. And she’d tried dating many men, three or four of which could well have been marriageable material, but she always ended up sabotaging it in some way. And her last relationship with Judd had been the most disastrous of all, with her ending up pregnant and then having the abortion. After that, her love life had lain in tatters on the floor, and she wasn’t sure where to go from there.
Then, the second she’d laid eyes on Aaron in the hallway of Stormcloud lodge, her heart had known right there—even if it’d taken her stubborn mind a lot longer to catch up—that this was her chance at redemption; their chance at redemption. They were meant to be together. Their night spent making love in the swag had proved beyond a doubt that the chemistry was still there, stronger than ever. But was that enough? And more to the point, did he feel the same?
“So, what are you saying, Jules?” he asked gently.
“I don’t really know,” she confessed, laying her head back on his chest, suddenly feeling exhausted, completely wrung out, as if all emotion had finally drained from her. “All I know is that I don’t want to lose you all over again.” Had she done the wrong thing, acknowledging her feelings for him? This wasn’t the right place or time to be pouring her heart out. To hell with it. She’d come this far. “I never stopped loving you, Aaron.” Even though he’d ripped her heart out and stomped it into the ground, a small minuscule part—that’d remained hidden from even her own consciousness—had kept a tiny flame burning in the depths, ready to ignite, if she’d only let it.
She didn’t raise her head from where she was nestled into his neck, didn’t want to see what was going on in his face, because if he rejected her, it’d be unbearable.
There was a heartbeat of silence as Aaron considered her words, his hand stopped drawing soothing circles on her back. She flinched inwardly as she waited for him to let her down gently, tell her that he’d moved on, and there was no place in his life for her.
