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CHAPTER FOUR
KEE FORCED HER gaze from the road in front. Her eyelids had been about to drift shut. Lord, she was tired. The heat and the flies and the lack of sleep were finally getting to her. And now, encased in Wazza’s car with the cooling air flowing around, she finally felt almost…safe. Almost as if she could let go, for a few minutes at least. For the first time in nearly a month, since she’d left Sydney, she thought she might’ve found someone who she could trust.
What had Wazza asked her? Something about telling the man towing her car that she was a friend of this Daisy woman. “Oh, yes, that sounds fine.” Did it? She wasn’t sure, but she was so worn out, she couldn’t find the energy to care. For this moment in time, she was happy to go with his proposal. It was so nice not to have to be responsible for every tiny detail for once.
Kee had been brought up to believe that the men in her life would take care of her. That her husband would shoulder the burden of worry and responsibility. Her strictly Hindu parents had immigrated from India when Kee had been only four and her sister Pooja only two, bringing their culture and traditions with them. After growing up in Sydney’s outer suburbs, Kee now had a good grasp on western culture and modern feminism, but she still found it hard to completely let go of her parents’ ideals. Even though she thought she’d understood what kind of man she was marrying when she agreed to Jakov’s proposal, a tiny part of her still believed he’d look after her right up into her old age. That she’d never have to fend for herself again. How wrong had that ideal turned out to be? She’d had to learn the hard way over the past year, during the divorce, and then when Jakov’s family tried to take Benni away, to find a grit and determination inside that she hadn’t been sure existed.
She needed to make sure she didn’t lose that hard-won independence. Sitting up straighter in the seat, she rubbed her eyes. Now wasn’t the time to become complacent.
Wazza was talking to someone on his radio and so Kee glanced into the back seat and saw that Benni was fast asleep. Poor baby. She was just as haggard and weary as Kee. How could she ever have even contemplated staying out in that blasted place for even one more hour? She barely listened as Wazza made arrangements for her car and then ended the call.
“You want to fill me in on some more details, now?” Wazza kept his voice low, so as not to waken Benni, but his mouth was set in a firm line that said he wanted answers. Which she probably owed him, seeing as how he was helping her when he didn’t need to.
When they’d first got into the vehicle, he’d removed his hat and placed on the console between the two front seats. His short, dark hair stood up in tufts, where he dragged a hand through the sweaty locks. It was an interesting combination, his dark hair—almost black—and those pale, blue eyes that reminded her of her the sacred lake. Not something you often saw, especially in a man.
She nodded, but her fingers gripped the edge of her seat tightly in anticipation. She wasn’t sure she was ready for this.
“Why did you cover the camera? You clearly knew that someone would see you. Didn’t you want to be rescued?” he asked.
It took her a second to grasp his meaning. He was talking about her covering the camera with her shirt. She’d seen the device the moment they’d walked back to the water trough, and it’d been instinct for her to strip off her shirt and throw it over the lens. Not having any knowledge about how these things worked, she didn’t know if she’d already been videoed, or if it was perhaps driven by movement. Did the camera feed only go back to the owners of the cattle, or did the police see it, too? When no one arrived in a fit of rage that someone had tampered with their camera after that first night, she assumed she hadn’t been spotted.
“Not at first,” Kee admitted. “I thought that if I could get the car started again, no one need even know we’d been there. But this place is so different from anywhere else I’ve ever been. I didn’t understand how dangerous it was. I never knew it got so dry out here, like it might never rain again.”
“Ah, but you wait. Because when it rains up here, boy, does it rain. All the rivers overflow, and the pastures become like an inland sea. They don’t call them floodplains for nothing. Everything gets green and lush. The colors can be so bright they almost hurt your eyes.” He gave her a quick sideways glance. “Actually, I’m not sure which is worse. To get lost during the dry season or the wet. They both have their challenges.”
Kee didn’t really understand what he meant by dry and wet season, so she just nodded.
“I’m thinking that you weren’t really headed to Cooktown to see Aunty Beryl?”
“No, sorry, I made that up.”
Wazza grunted in reply, as if he’d guessed her ploy right from the beginning. “Where were you headed, then? Did you have a plan?”
Kee felt the blood rush to her face, but she pursed her lips and forced herself to look at him. She was not going to let shame take over. Her plan had been to get as far away from Sydney as possible. To stay away from the major cities and roads, to make herself and her daughter invisible. Her plan hadn’t included getting lost, or her car breaking down in the most remote part of Australia.
“No, not really. I was trying to get to the Northern Territory border. That was as far as I’d thought ahead. Once I was there…” Kee merely shrugged.
“You were just going to keep driving? Until what? Until you felt safe enough to stop? I don’t get it, Kee. This all sounds a little…impractical. Taking on a drive across two states, in an old, unreliable car.”
“Maybe it was.” Kee jutted out her chin. “Maybe I am stupid for doing all these things.”
“More like batshit crazy,” Wazza interjected. Then he winced. “Sorry, but it’s true. Surely there are better ways to resolve a custody battle?”
She didn’t need to be lectured to by this man. Perhaps she had made mistakes, but it was better than the alternative.
“All I wanted was to get Benni away from those people. Jakov’s parents.” She couldn’t even bring herself to say their names. They had betrayed her, betrayed her trust. “After the divorce, I decided Benni should still see her grandparents. They are her family and she loved her baba and dida.” Wazza glanced at her with a lift of his eyebrow. “It’s Croatian for Nana and Poppa,” she said by way of explanation. When he nodded, she went on. “I let them take Benni one day every week. She always came back from her stay as happy as a clam, so I thought I was doing the right thing. But then one weekend, they refused to return her to me.” Her chest tightened at the memory. She’d stood on the steps to the Babic house staring at the closed front door, after they’d slammed it in her face, telling her she’d never see Benita again. Her heart had literally stopped beating in that instant. That’d been two months ago, and she still remembered it so clearly, like it was mere seconds ago. “They had her hidden away in their house and weren’t even letting me see her. Said they’d put in a petition with the Family Court, saying I was an unfit mother.” Kee held in a sob. How dare they say such untruths? How dare they try to take her daughter away from her? Her light. Her life.
Kee was staring straight ahead, not even seeing the road unfurling before them. Her mind was back in those terrible days she’d spent without Benni by her side. A warm hand landed softly on her knee, bringing her back to the present. This time, she didn’t flinch away from his touch. It offered compassion and caring. And something more that Kee didn’t want to explore. A spark of heat travelled up her leg and settled low in her belly.
“I’m sorry, Kee, that sounds awful. What a horrible thing to do to you,” Wazza said softly.
“It was horrible,” she agreed. “For days, I didn’t know what to do. I went to the Family Court, and they told me I needed to get a lawyer. That I needed to prove I wasn’t an unfit mother. His parents were lying about me, said I was a drug addict and I was out of it so often that I forgot to feed Benni. That I was neglectful.” She’d had to force herself to read the document the man at the Family Court had given her. It was hard to believe, but those black and white words on the page had driven it home; this was all really happening. “But none of that’s true. It’s all lies.” This time, the sob that’d been building in her throat broke free. Quickly, she glanced back at Benni, but she was mercifully still fast asleep. She took a deep breath, and then another. No tears in front of Benni, she’d promised herself.
“But what about your husband? What role does he have to play in this? You haven’t mentioned him yet.”
“My ex-husband, you mean,” she snapped. At least she’d done something right. Divorcing Jakov had been the best thing she’d ever done.
Wazza merely inclined his head.
