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“You–” My throat feels like it’s closing. “You want to be my submissive?”
When I pull back again to see her face, she averts her eyes, a shy smile on her lips and a beautiful pink blush stains her cheeks. “I don’t know. I… um… I really really really loved everything about tonight. Everything. Also, everything leading up to tonight somehow made it even better. The way you talk to me, the orders you give me, the way you handle me, it all seemed like the most intense foreplay I’ve ever experienced.”
“Lily.” My voice is soft as I pull her to me staring into those captivating, hazel eyes. “Tonight was barely a taste. These past couple days were barely a taste. It was vanilla sex, for me at least.”
“What’s vanilla sex?”
“Traditional sex. The sex most people have. I don’t want you to sign up for something you don’t even understand.”
The way her body tenses is progressive as the seconds pass.
“You don’t want me?” Her voice is small, quiet. I grab her chin, feeling something squeeze my heart as I force her to look at me.
“You are all I want. But a dom/sub relationship is a lifestyle, not just a fun night or two. I can’t allow you to be my sub without at least educating you.”
“Then educate me. I want to learn.”
“Lily–”
“Stefan please.” Her eyes flash with that familiar stubbornness. “I want to learn.”
I’m afraid to acknowledge how fucking happy those words make me. I refuse to get my hopes up.
“Okay,” I mutter slowly, at a loss for words. “I’ll teach you everything I know under one condition…”
“Which is?”
“If, as you learn, this sounds like something you wouldn’t like, this dynamic, you tell me immediately. Everything stops then. Promise?”
She nods, biting her lip. I have to mentally leash myself to keep from kissing her.
“When do we start?” Her voice trembles with eagerness as she eyes the case of harnesses closest to us. I laugh, squeezing her into my arms.
“I’m not doing any of this to you until I teach you everything. Any sex we have will be vanilla.”
Her face falls, and she pouts her fucking bottom lip once more. Damn, she’s going to make me fuck her mouth again.
“What happens if I don’t like it?” she asks with a hint of defiance in her voice. My stomach clenches and jumps with that anxiety again.
“I want to say we can continue as a vanilla couple, but I know I can’t do that. Not with you. You drive me fucking crazy, Lily. I will let you go on with your life.”
Just getting those words out is almost impossible. They’re lies. I can’t let her go on with her life, at least not without me.
“No,” she whispers, grabbing my hands and linking her fingers through mine. The way my stomach flips would be humiliating if anyone knew.
“I want to learn. I want to try it.”
Somehow, my heart thunders even harder.
“Are you sure?” I ask again, terrified to hope.
“Yes, I want to learn.” She squeezes my hands.
I kiss her deeply, slowly, communicating everything I can’t say with words. When we’re both sweating and panting, leaking from another orgasm, I cradle her into my side.
“Tomorrow, I’ll give you a document. Read it and fill it out. I expect it returned to me before the business day closes.”
“Mm,” she mumbles against my chest. I run my hands through her hair, massaging her scalp until her breathing deepens and her body fully relaxes in my arms. She’s so beautiful and angelic. And she wants to be mine. I think I might love her.
