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“Don’t ever compare yourself to Calle,” she whispered huskily.
“How can I not? I always came in second to him.”
She searched his eyes, trying to decipher the meaning of his words. Was he envious of Calle for being royalty? “I assure you, being in his position is a nightmare. You don’t want to be King.”
He shook his head until his chin fell out of her grasp. “That’s not what I’m referring to. Just look at him. He’s covered with gold tattoos. He’s selfless and brave. Everyone loves him.” He gestured to his black tattoos. “Calle deserves you more than I do.”
Her lips parted in surprise as she stared back at him. For years, she had assumed he and Calle had the perfect friendship. Close. Inseparable. She’d never suspected hidden feelings of inadequacy from Joel.
Bravery fled from her as her trembling fingers reached for the buttons on her coat. One by one, she unfastened the buttons until the coat dropped to the ground at her feet. A chill shivered through her, seeping into her clothing and nipping at her exposed skin.
“What are you doing?” Joel winced as he reached for her coat, but she shook her head to stop him. “You need to keep warm.”
But she ignored him. Instead, her trembling hands began unbuttoning the front of her dress to expose her collarbones. And then the curse mark over her heart. When just enough fabric loosened to reveal her shoulders, she gathered her hair in one hand, took a deep breath, and turned around.
Joel inhaled sharply.
She knew what he saw.
At the top of her shoulders lay black tattoos in the shape of a garland of roses. They wept tears that looked like silver dewdrops. “Six years is a long time, Joel,” she murmured as she turned back around and began buttoning her dress up again. “How can our souls not be stained black after everything that has happened? I’m sure Calle has made his fair share of mistakes, too.”
His throat bobbed up and down as he swallowed. “I suppose neither of us are the people we used to be before—” he glanced toward the children before lowering his voice, “—Liam’s sanity snapped.”
She shook her head as she began tending to his wound once more. He winced and breathed deeply through his nose, but he didn’t cry out again as she bandaged his shoulder and helped him into his spare shirt. She didn’t have alcohol to clean the wound, and she prayed she wouldn’t have to cauterize it.
“We need to find shelter.” She glanced up at the snow falling in earnest. “I’m not sure we can keep traveling in this weather.” Her mouth twitched as she glanced at Sunweave. “I don’t suppose your horse can help.”
Joel chuckled but then winced. “He’s smart. But not that smart.”
A pulsing ache moved through her leg as she searched the ground for something she might be able to use as a cane. Nothing. She barely managed to put all of her weight on it before it threatened to collapse. Another round of tears burned her eyes at her frustration. But she was grateful they were alive. All four of them.
She gasped as Joel wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her. “What are you—”
And then she found herself sitting on Sunweave’s back. The creature began moving forward, and she barely managed to grab hold of the loose saddle to keep from sliding off.
“You need to ride more than I do,” she insisted, noting the perspiration dotting his brow and the permanent wince etched into his mouth.
“I can still walk. You can’t.” The faintest smile turned in her direction. “We’ll make it work.”
The children followed close at Joel’s sides as they traversed through a curtain of falling snow. His magic continued to weave around them despite the lack of music, and she wondered how long it would last.
Finally, they reached a large rock face with a cave just big enough for Joel to stand in. He collapsed in exhaustion the moment he helped her down and took the saddle off the horse. “I just need a minute,” he said, resting his back against the wall, his eyes closed.
He quickly fell asleep.
Her fingers trembled. Not from nervousness, but fear, as she knelt beside him and unbuttoned his shirt. He remained asleep as she checked the wound. The bandage had bled through.
Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath to center herself. To make the hard decisions by herself, as she had for the last five months. Joel needed a healer to treat his wound, as he was in danger of bleeding out or the wound getting infected. His best chance at survival was to turn around and return to Heulwen.
But her best chance at survival was to continue forward.
Eva crossed the cave with a finger in her mouth before curling up with Joel and tucking a thin blanket around them. Although no words left her lips, her love and admiration for her stepfather were written clearly in her big green eyes.
“Tomorrow,” Nyana whispered as her gaze drifted to the thick sheet of snow outside the cave, as well as the reminder of the danger from the men in the woods. “We’ll return to Heulwen tomorrow.”
She turned in search of her oldest daughter but jumped when Maisy rushed inside the cave and dropped a bundle of wood onto the rocky floor. The wood clattered across the cave, nearly as loud as Maisy’s prideful expression.
“Look what I found!” Maisy then emptied her pockets of dried pine needles and leaves. “I watched how Papa Joel built a fire last night. He said to only use dry wood as kindling. I found some underneath the pine tree outside the cave. Everything else was too wet.”
