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Slowly, she nodded, her eyebrows furrowing as she lowered her hand to her side and studied him. Joel. Her sweet, kind, fun-loving Joel. Always willing to lend an ear. Always going out of his way for her. Always kind and compassionate and friendly.
Always a friend.
Memories of Joel six years ago were much different than the Joel standing before her. He hadn’t lost his kind, fun-loving demeanor. But he looked different. A body that used to be tall and gangly was now muscular and confident. A thin, boyish face now had angles in the right places. Strong jaw. Broad shoulders.
She swallowed as her gaze dipped to his blood-covered shirt, remembering the defined muscles of his chest when she’d tended to his wound. Joel was not a boy anymore. He was a man.
Again, her heart skipped as new, confusing thoughts filled her mind.
But then she bit her lip self-consciously and stared at the layer of snow covering the ground. He was not the same anymore. In a good way. But neither was she. She’d lost weight in the past several years. Her stomach had been stretched twice and a half with each of her children. She was not a beautiful, vivacious young woman anymore. Her hair was tied in a simple knot. Her dress was pinned at the shoulders.
She felt utterly plain in comparison to him.
And why it suddenly mattered? She wasn’t entirely sure.
Two brown boots appeared in her vision, and she lifted her gaze to find Joel standing close, his eyes filled with concern. He didn’t touch her. But it surprised her when she wished he would.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” he asked quietly. “How much has it spread?”
“How much has what…?” her words trailed off as she gazed into his eyes. Green like forest leaves. A light gold surrounded his pupils like the Heulwen Sun Star. His hair had long since fallen out of its tie, unruly strands now framing his face.
Her heart skipped in response.
How had this happened? When had this happened? This was supposed to be a spiritual marriage. No feelings. Just friendship.
This time, her heart fluttered with pain. Pain because she always lost everyone she cared about. Her mother. Her father. Her brother. Calle. Her baby. She didn’t want to hurt anymore. It was not smart to develop any other feelings for Joel. He was a good father and a good husband. Nothing more.
“I…” The words on her tongue died once more.
“Too much,” he said quietly, his gaze flitting over her collarbone where the curse continued to creep like festering vines. “We should arrive before nightfall. You’ll make it. I promise.”
“But will you?”
Worry gnawed on her bones as she took in his pale skin, his flushed cheeks, and his bleeding shoulder. She felt so helpless, unable to do more for him as he suffered from infection and blood loss.
“Don’t worry about me.” His soft tone and endearing smile did little to reassure her. “Let’s get moving. I don’t want to stay in one place for too long. I know they will try to follow.”
Unease churned in her gut as she climbed onto Sunweave’s back with Eva in the saddle in front of her. She glanced over her shoulder, but the forest was white, quiet, and void of unwanted pursuers.
“How long can you hold the illusion?” she asked softly as Sunweave moved forward, watching as Maisy took hold of Joel’s hand. “Do you need me to sing again?”
“Yes, please.” His teasing, roguish grin sent more flutters through her heart. She quickly tried to stomp on them. “I would enjoy hearing your lovely voice again.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m serious.”
His eyebrows furrowed as he glanced behind them. Still nothing. “I dropped the illusion last night. I couldn’t hold it when my body is…” He clenched his jaw and stared ahead. “I’ll try.”
“I want to sing this time, Papa Joel.” Maisy began singing an off-key rendition of a lullaby Nyana had sung to them in the past before bed. She felt rather than saw Joel weaving his magic around them.
But all too suddenly, Joel cried out, clutching his shoulder as the magic rippled and died before he fell to his hands and knees into the snow.
“Joel!”
Her heart hammered in her chest as she moved to slide off the horse when something slammed into her back. Pain ripped through her moments before she crashed to the ground. Frigid powder engulfed her like ocean water swallowing her whole. Her temple throbbed.
And when she lifted her head, something warm and sticky dripped from her scalp.
“Got you!” a rough voice said behind her moments before a thick rope wrapped around her neck and tightened.
