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Now overly aware of his curious stare, she turned away from him and tucked and retucked the blanket over her arm. Of course, she was curious of his intimate past, but she never thought he’d turn it around on her.
“You greatly overestimate my near-colorless history with your simple question.” A wry laugh escaped her mouth, and she found her hands fidgeting again as she ran an errant blanket thread between her fingers. “With my luck, I’d immediately conceive another child if I tried.”
Silence.
Inwardly, she cringed. What am I doing? Joel is still dedicated to Genica. I shouldn’t voice my doubts and insecurities.
“Umm.” The fabric of the blanket bunched in her fists as she turned toward the stairs. “Excuse me. I—”
The next words from his mouth stopped her tracks on the bottom stair. “Would you like another child?”
Yes.
But she refused to say the word out loud. Oh, she wanted gaggles of children. Laughter and love and happiness. A life filled with so much noise she couldn’t hear herself think. Yet, she climbed another stair. “I will not stray out of our marriage, Joel. Even if what we have is in name only.”
One stair.
Two stairs.
And then, “You greatly underestimate my loyalty to you if you think I will stray.”
Again, she paused, taken aback by his words. But then the walls of her heart began to repair where they had crumbled. Calle had chosen to marry Skaja. Liam had taken so many lovers, she’d lost count. If she allowed herself to hope, even the slightest bit, she feared being crushed by a landslide of despair and heartbreak.
“I’ll check on the girls. Goodnight, Joel. And…” She glanced over her shoulder to find him watching her with a tortured expression. For what, she didn’t know. “Thank you for everything. No matter what tomorrow brings.”
She climbed the remaining stairs and peeked into the girls’ bedroom to find both fast asleep with one sconce crystal lit to cast blue light across their angelic faces. Whatever tomorrow brought, she took heart in knowing that Joel would be there for them. Always. Even if she couldn’t.
Chapter 13
Joel pinched the bridge of his nose.
Marrying Nyana was one thing. Keeping his thoughts, feelings, and hands to himself was another. As he leafed through a book printed on pages created from what appeared like thin, nearly translucent tree bark he’d found on the table, he couldn’t stop his thoughts wandering back to the night before.
Nyana’s soft skin.
Her beautiful body he probably shouldn’t have peeked at, even though she’d given him permission.
The vulnerability in her eyes.
He scrubbed a hand over his beard and turned another page as he kicked his bare feet up onto the sofa. Marrying her was the best thing to ever happen to him. It was also the hardest thing to endure.
Something tickled his foot, and as an involuntary reaction, he kicked before resuming perusing the book. Did Forest Fae have flies in the winter? Or were some other bugs flying around in here?
A chuckle escaped him as the bug tickled his foot again. He kicked. But when he spotted the end of a feather reaching through the slats on the sofa’s end to tickle the bottom of his feet once more, he laughed. He swore he heard a snicker in response.
“There must be a fly loose in this house,” he said loudly for Maisy’s benefit, only to hear the faintest muffled snicker again. “They won’t leave my poor toes alone.”
When the feather reached through the bars for the third time, he jumped up and growled playfully with the intent of scaring Maisy. But too late, he realized the girls were still upstairs, and he found himself gazing back at a pair of mischievous blue eyes.
“Nyana!” he gasped, and his hand slipped in surprise. He couldn’t catch himself as he flipped over the side of the sofa and landed directly on top of her.
Before he managed to recover from his shock, she tickled his sides, and laughter erupted from his mouth as he writhed against her fingers. “Stop!” he begged, trying to push her away as he guffawed. He retaliated by tickling her between the shoulder blades, and she quickly joined in with her own laughter.
At least until she flipped him over and straddled his waist, pinning him down by the arms. All coherent thought fled his mind as his gaze traveled from her hair that tumbled over her shoulders like a golden waterfall to the delicate smile on her pink lips to the vibrancy in her blue eyes. Her skin contained a healthy glow, the dark circles no longer prominent beneath her eyes. She radiated beauty. Inside and out.
And he couldn’t stop himself from caressing the golden waves inches from his face.
“It’s gone,” she whispered as she pulled her blouse down just enough to reveal the milky, unblemished skin over her heart. “Liam is gone. I’m free.”
