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Five seconds of silence lasted an eternity. “I’ll stay with Rylie and pursue the adoption,” Jarrett said. “If Rylie’s willing.”
Matthew caught her gaze and held it with shrewd eyes. She prayed he couldn’t read the emotions churning behind hers.
“Rylie, would you be willing to stay married to Jarrett and legally adopt Gabe if you’re approved?”
She fought the tears that threatened to break through her iron willpower. It was like Matthew was a preacher asking them to recite empty vows in a nightmare wedding.
Not trusting her voice, she nodded at Matthew, then squeezed her eyes shut and turned her face away, the humiliation more than she could bear.
Once the adoption was finalized, she would no longer be needed. Jarrett would dump her, for sure, but he would be nice about it. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body. If only he would act like a jerk, she could funnel her pent-up passion into anger, spew out some venom, and feel a ton of relief.
“You don’t have to do this.” Jarrett’s voice was raw.
Stop being kind! Can’t you see I want to hate you?
Like flood waters rising around her home, the truth seeped into her consciousness. Jarrett hadn’t chosen to be stuck in this marriage any more than she had. His dreams of finally marrying Carlie had just been destroyed, yet he was still thinking of Rylie. She swallowed her pride and stuffed it away.
“We can do this, Jarrett. We can do it for Gabe. I’ve seen people who hated each other stay together for the sake of their children. At least we’re friends.”
There were so many things she wished he would say.We’re more than friends, Rylie. Much more. I’ve finally realized we belong together. I thought I wanted Carlie, but I was wrong.Instead, he murmured two words that cemented her fate.
“You’re right.”
The wrinkles between his eyes proved he was anticipating the misery of living with her for twelve to eighteen months. And it would be miserable for Rylie, as well, but for a whole different reason. She would be tortured daily with a tiny taste of what she could never have. Like working in a chocolate shop and being told you can never eat the candy. What a sick joke fate had played. She’d wished she could take her sister’s place, and look what it had gotten her.
“Now we have to tell everyone.” Jarrett pressed his fingers to his temples. “I don’t know which I dread more... Carlie being upset or Finn falling on the floor laughing.”
With her emotions boiling close to the brim, Rylie gritted her teeth. “If Finn laughs about this when I’m around, he may find that mask he wears stuffed down his throat.”
Chapter 10
It took fifteen minutes to drive from Matthew’s office to Phantom Enterprises. For the first five of those minutes, the only sounds inside the car were the hum of the engine and the noise of traffic through the windows. Rylie sat with her hands in her lap, squeezing them together so tightly that her knuckles blanched. Jarrett wanted to break the silence, but he had no idea what to say. Should he thank her? Offer to pay her? Talk about the logistics of moving her into his house? Discuss how to break the news to her sister? Commend her for being altruistic? Encourage her that it would only be a year or so?
When he finally said something, it wasn’t his most brilliant speech. “Would you like a piece of gum?”
“What?” She turned to him with a how-can-you-talk-about-gum-at-a-time-like-this expression.
“I just thought you looked tense,” he said, gripping the wheel so hard he thought it might break. “When I’m tense, I like to chew gum.”
“I’m not tense.”
“Oh.” With one hand on the wheel he dug in his center console and found a stick of gum, which he promptly unwrapped and stuck in his mouth. It might not help his nerves, but it would give his tongue something to do besides saying stupid things.
From the corner of his eye, he noticed her mouth twitch in an almost-smile. “I suppose I might be a little on the tense side…”
He grinned, lifting his elbow to give her access to the console. “There’s more gum in the bottom.”
Within a few seconds, she was chewing along with him, her brow bent in thought. “What comes next?”
He massaged his aching left jaw joint. “Probably a visit to my dentist. My TMJ’s been acting up, and I’ve worn a hole in my night guard.”
She glanced at him, and then at the roof. “I meant, what comes next for us? What do we do?”
“I have no idea. This isn’t how I do things. I plan everything out months in advance, so there won’t be any problems. This whole thing with Gabe happened so fast, I’m completely off balance.” He swallowed hard, searching for words, his eyes glued to the road. “I know I’ve screwed up royally, and you’re the one who came to the rescue. Not to be be chauvinistic or anything, but it makes me feel like a real loser to always be on the receiving end with you. So what can I do to tip the balance?”
He dared a glance. Big mistake. She was tugging that sweet lower lip between her teeth again, and it seemed to be connected to something that made his mouth go dry. What was happening to him? He couldn’t let himself be attracted to her in that way. She would think he’d done all this on purpose to trap her into marriage. No, he had to keep his thoughts in line. This relationship was platonic. Sure, they were married, and they had to live together. But she wasn’t interested in him beyond friendship. End of story.
“You don’t owe me anything, Jarrett. Everything I’m doing is for Gabe.”
