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Chapter Ten
The time had come to do the right thing. The thing that I shouldn’t have waited all night to do, but I did, because I am a coward.
When I woke up, I was alone. I felt panicked.
I rushed from bed, still in only a nightgown, and ran to Rob.
He smiled at me, greeted me with, “Hello sleepy-eyes, want a wake-up waffle?”
His waffles were perfect. He was perfect.
I was about to ruin everything.
In a single, torrential rush of word vomit, I told him everything. From beginning to end. I told him every sordid detail I’ve written here.
Even when he seemed like he would burst from rage. Even when it seemed like he wanted to smash his head into a door, or worse, mine.
I told him the truth, and finally, I came clean about what really scared me.
If his brother hadn’t threatened to blackmail me, I might’ve tried to keep it a secret from him. Forever, maybe, if I could have pulled it off.
He sat there for a long time, stoney and silent. Then he asked a lot of questions. I answered as honestly as I could, and I tried not to cry, because I knew that wouldn’t be fair to him.
Until finally he went on the balcony without me and made a phone call.
A small part of me worried he was calling a hitman to come and kill me, but I brushed aside that totally unfair thought.
When he came back in the room, he was breathing deeply, but he looked calm. That scared me more than anything.
Until he started speaking in his beautiful, golden voice. He spoke calmly, in even, measured tones, “I spoke with Anya Talova. It’s clear from both what you told me and from what she said, that you are committed to me and our relationship, but you aren’t satisfied with one sexual partner.”
I kept quiet. I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t know if that was really true.
“Even if that’s not true, and this was just something you did once, you still came and told me immediately,” his voice started choking up, “Amelia, why didn’t you tell me you were attracted to Anya? I would’ve understood.”
I didn’t understand. What was happening? This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.
He was supposed to kick me out of the house while screaming at me, right?
“What do you mean?” I asked, “Wouldn’t you have felt badly if I was into someone else?”
“Sure, maybe,” he said, “But we can figure out some configuration that makes all of us comfortable. Anya assures me that it’s just a physical attraction between the two of you. Lots of couples I know have relationships with flexible boundaries.”
He sat down, a long distance away from me, but still sat down with me.
He said, “Amelia, let me make this work with you. I’m your first long-term relationship, correct? Besides some brief flings in college?”
I shook my head. This was correct.
“So how do you know you’re monogamous?” he asked.
I couldn’t believe my ears. I thought it was a trap. I started crying, despite my promise to myself that I wouldn’t.
“I only want you, please don’t leave me,” I begged.
He rushed to me and scooped me up into his arms and held me tight.
“You had a high-adrenaline encounter,” he said, “It could be that you only needed one. But please, be open with me. If you get feelings like this again, let’s discuss it. Let’s create a boundary that works for you and me. Anya is more than willing, too.”
