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“I guess you’re right,” I mutter quietly, wondering when the caffeine shot will start to take effect. I had a crappy night and didn’t get a wink of sleep. Unwanted thoughts of Carlos Rodriguez kept me tossing and turning for the better part of the night. If the dull steady ache in my temples is any indication, I’m about to have an even crappier morning.
“You’ll get used to it, I promise,” Sarah says with a warmth that reflects in her gentle brown eyes.
I almost scoff at the notion of her words. Can I ever get used to living under the same roof as Carlos Rodriguez? I don’t believe it’s possible. He’s a bad man who’s done bad things that are bound to come back to him tenfold. Being around a man like that, I have to be careful not to get caught in the tangled webs of his affairs.
I have to be on guard at all times. So, it would seem like a good night’s sleep is not in my near future.
I look up at Sarah to find a soft smile on her lips. “Thank you, Sarah,” I say.
“Would you like a cup of tea?” Sarah asks, already opening the cabinets above the kitchen counter to take out a new set of cups. “Something to help you calm down. I think Chamomile... Or better still, Matcha....”
I patiently wait as Sarah busies herself with brewing us some tea. Thoughts of the mobster upstairs start to infiltrate my mind again, despite my conscious effort to ward them off. I keep telling myself not to think about him at all, but I can’t seem to get a hold of my self-discipline.
What’s wrong with me? What exactly about him makes me so...unsettled? I don’t quite know this feeling...There’s something about Carlos that bothers me. And I don’t like this feeling.
“You look like you don’t believe it when I say you’ll get used to living here,” Sarah says, placing a warm cup of tea in front of me. Her eyes search mine, and her lips spread slowly into a knowing smile. “You know...Carlos isn’t such a bad man,” she says, leaning lightly against the kitchen island. “Behind all that muscle, he’s a big softie...A good man.”
“I don’t quite understand,” I say, shaking my head slowly. “You seem like a good person...How can you defend him, knowing the things he does for a living? I’m sorry if that sounds offensive or judgmental. It’s just...I can’t seem to wrap my head around it.”
“I quite understand you,” Sarah says with a small sigh. “But despite the world's image of Carlos, he’ll always remain my savior.”
“How so?” I ask with a curious frown, and then I realize it might have been rude to ask so blatantly. “If you don’t want to talk about it, though. I understand. I mean, it’s....”
“No,” Sarah says with a dismissive wave. “It’s not a huge secret. Look...I’m not as good a person as you might think me to be. I used to do a lot of bad things. I was born and raised in downtown Chicago. My mother was a prostitute, and so was I. The streets are tough, but I fought my way through. I opened a bar – a cover-up for a prostitution ring. It was all good until I got mixed up in some gang shit. My operation was busted, and I was sentenced to a few years in prison. I have a son. He was just ten when I went to jail. After I was gone, my boy had no one to fend for him, and somehow, he ended up at Carlos’s den. Carlos took my boy in and cared for him. He put him in school and protected him like his own son.
“After completing my time, I had nothing. No thoughts of where to go or how to move my life forward. But Carlos was waiting for me at the gate with my son. I can’t tell you how I felt at that moment. I hardly knew him then, but I felt hope for the first time at a shot at a second chance. To cut the story short, Carlos became family. He saw my son through college, and Aaron is doing so well for himself now. I couldn’t be more proud. Carlos helped me make sense of my life, and this...working for him, it’s the least I can do. Sure, he’s made bad decisions and done some bad things, but do people ever stop to think that his way of life might not have been his choice? The streets are all he knows, and the fact that there’s still some goodness in him makes him worth defending.”
Sarah takes in a deep breath and shakes her head. “I’m sorry,” she says with a humorless chuckle. “I get emotional and tend to be partial when it comes to Carlos. Anyway, all I’m saying is to give him a fair chance. Get to know the real Carlos Rodriguez without prejudice, and maybe living with him might not be so hard.”
