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I just grunted, knowing it was true, but I was riding the edge of my control at the moment. If Doc came back with bad news, I wasn’t sure I could hold my shit together.
The second I put Swan on her feet, Holly ran into her arms. Swan knelt down and hugged the child.
“Hey there, squirt,” she said, trying to sound cheerful when anyone could see she’d been crying.
“Don’t worry,” Holly said with confidence. “Doc there can fix anything. You’ll see.” She wrapped her skinny arms around Swan’s neck and hugged her fiercely. “When you’re done, I’ll come see you. And just remember: Needles hurt, but sometimes they can help you get better.”
“Thanks, sweetie,” Swan said, kissing the child on the cheek. “If I can’t see you tonight, I’ll see you tomorrow. I promise.”
When they were done, I picked Swan back up into my arms, carrying her the distance to Fury’s clinic. Doc didn’t say a word the whole time. No one did. Alizay and Blade were already there. They talked in hushed voices as they moved around the office collecting items and taking them into what Fury called his procedure room.
“We’ve got everything ready,” Alizay said softly. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“What’s going on?” Swan still clung to me. I sat and she stayed in my lap. I wasn’t sure that I didn’t hold on to her as tightly as she held to me.
Doc pulled up a stool and sat in front of her. “Two things,” he began. “I want to physically examine the knot on your upper thigh. I’ll ask you some questions, and you need to answer me as truthfully and accurately as you can.”
“OK.”
“Second, I want to do a biopsy. I need to see exactly what kind of cells you have in there and in what concentration. That way I know what I’ve got to work with.”
“I don’t want you taking out my leg and pelvis and shit.” Swan was more sulky than stubborn. It was almost as if she’d resolved herself to doing whatever Doc said, no matter what her wishes were.”
“Baby,” I said before Doc could say anything. “No one’s gonna make you do anything you don’t want to. I swear to you on my life, I won’t let that happen. I’ll kill a motherfucker first.”
Doc gave me an exasperated look. “I think I’m more pissed about that than anything else,” he muttered. “Look. That kind of surgery shouldn’t have even been hinted at before they knew exactly what they were dealing with, and the only way to know that for absolute certainty is to do a biopsy. Besides, what you described was pretty radical. Not something I can do in a clinic, no matter what kind of equipment Fury has. This is strictly a biopsy. I’ll get what I need with a small drill and a needle.”
She nodded. Then asked softly, “Will it hurt?”
“I’ll give you enough medicine you won’t care, but I’ll numb you up as much as I can. OK?”
“OK,” she said, then buried her face back in my neck.
“Good,” Doc said, standing. “Let’s get the exam finished so we can get all this other shit done. I promise you, you’re gonna know one way or the other exactly what we’re dealing with and what your options are before you go to bed tonight.”
The next few hours were the longest of my life. El Diablo and Jezebel stayed with me the whole time. Once Doc was finished, his samples collected and given to Mama to take wherever she was taking them, Swan slept. I moved her from the exam table to a bed in the back. I sat beside her on a chair, scooting it as close to the bed as I could and holding her hand.
“I can’t live without her, Liam,” I said softly, knowing my friend would hear me. “She’s become my world in so short a time, it’s laughable.”
“Just let Doc do his work. Don’t give up yet.”
“I’ll never give up on her,” I murmured. “Whatever it takes. If it will get her better…”
“I know. Just have a little faith.”
“You know, I was El Segador before you were El Diablo. Maybe there’s a reason for it.”
“You bring monsters to justice, Reaper. Not innocents.”
“She commented on the irony of my name when we first met.” I sighed, kissing her hand gently. “She loves me. I know she does.”
“And you?”
I glanced over at my oldest friend. “You know I love her. More than I ever thought myself capable of loving anyone.”
Liam nodded, then put his arm around Jezebel, kissing her temple. “Go let Holly know Swan’s going to need to sleep tonight. We’ll bring her to breakfast in the morning.”
“Sure.” Jezebel stood and put a hand on my shoulder. “We’re all pulling for her, Reaper.”
