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Chapter Nine
Swan
When Doc’s news finally settled in, I reached for Reaper and burst into tears. I’m not sure how long I cried, but it seemed like months of worry and fear burst free, and I couldn’t stem it. Wasn’t sure I wanted to. Other than all the people witnessing my breakdown, there was really no reason to hold it in any longer. In the month or so I’d been with Reaper, I knew for certain he understood my fears and would never make fun of me or allow anyone else to. And these people? Yeah. They were solidly in my corner. I had no idea what would happen next, but right this second it didn’t matter. The people in this club and, if I understood it all, two other clubs -- Salvation’s Bane and Bones -- had banded together and helped me in my lowest moment. The people from Bones had come all the way from Kentucky! And none of them had asked for anything in return. No one had ever been so caring in my life since my mom died.
“You’re OK,” Reaper said, his mouth at my ear. “You’re good. It’s all good.” He sounded like he was talking more to himself than me, but I’d take it. He held me tight, trembling nearly as much as I was. That was when I realized the man loved me. At least, in some way he loved me. This changed things. Our relationship was now vastly different.
“Will you help me?” I asked softly. “Help me while I do whatever Doc says I have to do to heal?”
“Of course.” He pulled back. “Swan, why would you even ask me that? I’m not leaving.”
“But…” I glanced around me. Everyone but El Diablo and Doc had gone. El Diablo had a supportive grip on Reaper’s shoulder while Doc watched over both of us. “I’m not dying. You didn’t sign up for this.”
“I signed up for you, Swan. No matter how long or short a time together. I’m with you.”
“Hold on to her, Reaper,” El Diablo said before turning to go. He took Doc with him, and the men left us alone.
“You know I’d never hold you to your promise now,” I said, even as I gripped his shirt tightly in my fists. Tears streamed down my face at the thought of goodbye from the man who’d come to mean so much to me.
“I know. And you don’t have to. I’m not leaving you, Swan. Not when we thought you were sick. Certainly not now that I know you’re well. You’re my woman. I’m your man.”
“I’m gonna live, Reaper.” I know it sounded mundane, but I was so relieved. I wanted to shout my thankfulness to the universe but could barely manage to breathe.
“Yeah, baby.” Reaper smiled at me. If there was one tear that trickled down his cheek, I didn’t mention it. “You’re gonna live. If you still want me, I’m all yours. This time, I swear I’ll be with you until I die.”
“You can have any woman you want, El Segador.” He raised an eyebrow at me. Likely because I never called him that. “I’ve been living in my own little world here, feeling sorry for myself. Eager to experience everything I could before I got too weak to do anything other than wait to die. But I see the way the women here look at you. You’re not vice president of the club or whatever. I know that title belongs to Samson. But you’re the closest person here to El Diablo, other than Jezebel. That makes you the second most powerful man here.”
“Sure. I could have any of them. Hell, I’ve had several of them over the years. But the only one I want with my heart and soul, my entire being, Swan, is you.” He took a breath and cleared his throat. Looking supremely uncomfortable, he looked away before saying, “I love you, Swan.”
God, if I cried any more I was gonna have the headache from hell. But yeah. I started blubbering like an idiot. I wrapped my arms around Reaper’s neck as tightly as I could. “I love you, too! I love you, too!” I kissed him hard. Over and over. Then he wrapped his arms around me as tightly as I held him and we just… cried. Both of us. Even my big tough biker.
We stayed like that for a long time. Until my pain medicine started to wear off. I was content to stay like that, but Reaper wasn’t having it. He settled me back in bed and called Doc back in.
“Does she need to stay here tonight?”
“Not necessarily,” Doc said. “But it would be easier for her. I can give her pain medicine when she needs it. I’d like her to sleep as much as she can and be as pain-free as possible tonight and tomorrow.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
“I want you to be with me, Reaper.”
“Oh, don’t worry, baby. I’m not leaving you. I’ll be right by your side, just like I promised.” He looked up at Doc. “She’s hurting.”
“Not to worry.” He lifted a small syringe with medicine in it and pushed it into the IV in my arm. “Don’t fight it. If you get sleepy, just close your eyes and let your mind drift.” He looked back at Reaper. “I’ll be in every two hours. It’s a small dose, so I’ll give it more often to stagger it out. I don’t want her pain to get out of control.”
“How long she gonna hurt?”
“From the biopsy? A couple of days. Tonight and tomorrow will be the worst. But it still won’t be too bad. Mainly, I want her to rest. If I have to dope her up to get it? I’m good with that.” Doc grinned at Reaper, then winked at me.
“Well, I guess I’m about to do something else on my bucket list,” I said, my words slurring.
“Getting high?”
“You know it.” I giggled. “Though, I’d kind of hoped I’d be getting fucked by you when I got high.” Reaper chuckled. I was pretty sure Doc did too, but I couldn’t think about that. If I did, I’d be mortified. Instead, I chose to be pleasantly numb.
“That can happen later, baby,” Reaper said. “Lots and lots of time for that. And I’ll indulge every single, dirty, depraved thing your mind can come up with. But now, you sleep.”
With a happy sigh, I obeyed him.
