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Macey refused to accept that the thing was her and tried to change it back into a blob in her head. Alas, it did not seem to work.
"Sorry, but that's just not going to be possible."
"Is it not, Macey?" Sludge-Thing said. It even went as far as brushing a strand of its hair behind its ear, smiling as it did.
"No. You can't have anything."
"Not even your three, lovely men. Strong, aren't they? Virile, affectionate. Everything anyone could possibly want from a man. And you get three..."
Macey shivered, not fully aware of where this was going, or how worried she should be. What was this thing's game?
"But I have a question for you," it said.
"What is it?" Macey snapped.
"Why on earth, or on the Staran even, would they love you? You're just a little loch kelpie a long way from home," the thing sneered.
"So?" Macey prompted. "There's nothing wrong with being a loch kelpie. It's not like I had any choice in where I was born." Her thoughts flitted towards Aunt Nessie, but she pushed them to the side. That wasn't the kind of thing she wanted the Sludge-Macey to pick up on.
"Oh, I see where your mind went there," it taunted. "Don't think I don't know your thoughts, Macey."
"If you know my thoughts, then surely you know you're not going to win." Macey tried not to make it sound like a question, but she wasn't completely convinced she'd managed. Oh well, it wasn't like she had any other choice but to go with it any more.
"Oh, Macey, Macey, Macey. Hasn't anyone ever told you that you are always your own worst enemy?" the thing said.
"Then surely I'm also my own best ally." She straightened her spine and faced off against the thing. "You can question how much my men love me, and why, and that's fine. But you can't change that I know it deep down in my soul. They love me with every fibre of their beings. Just like I love them. So, stop questioning something I know is true."
Macey wasn't sure where the words had come from, but they'd burst out of her all of a sudden, and she had absolutely no doubt they were true. Even if Flint was the only one who'd ever said the words out loud. It didn't matter. They loved her. She knew that. Their bond was one that couldn't be broken, even by the anxiety of her own soul.
"If you think your men are your only weak spot, then you're kidding yourself," the thing changed tactics.
"You're right. They're not my only weakness. But I hardly see why that matters. Isn't being brave about doing something despite being scared? Or despite the fact it's not something you're good at?" Macey asked.
All she received in response was stunned silence.
"I will hold up my hands and say I am scared. I'm filled with doubts over whether or not I can do the task that's been assigned to me. A lot of responsibility is on my shoulders, and it is a lot to take. Particularly when I have my own demons to face. But I am damned well going to do it regardless. Failure is not an option and I won't be letting my own little voice defeat me."
She'd ended up shouting the words, but in some ways, was glad for that. It made them ring truer in her own mind. And hopefully to the Sludge-Thing too.
"Oh, Macey. Don't you think you're too weak for this?" it tried. But even Macey could tell it was beginning to flag.
She had her weaknesses, but she was going to own them. There was really no other choice in her head. This must have been the mental battle the past Warden had mentioned to her. She hadn't even considered that she might have to fight it against herself. The Voice would have been her first guess, but apparently not.
Such an odd thought that she was one of her own worst enemies.
"I am weak, yes. But my strength comes from fighting that," she mused aloud. "I don't know everything, but I have Cam for that. I don't always have it all together, but I have Jared. Flint would do anything to fight for me. I have Amber to be a friend even when I can't be to myself. And I'm not really sure about Izban, but I'm sure he provides something I can't for myself too. Alone, I might be too weak to complete the task that's been set for me. In that, you're correct. But I am not alone. And even if you're really a part of me, you shouldn't be fooling me into thinking that I am alone."
A warm wind rose and touched her skin gently. She smiled.
"And I have Air with me, too
. I will never be alone, even though it might seem like that at first. Now go back to where you came from. I have work to do."
Now it was sludge-Macey's turn to smile. "As you wish," she said with a wicked grin before launching herself at Macey.
Instead of crashing into her, the fake Macey puffed out of existence as soon as she touched her doppelganger. At first, nothing happened, but just when hope began to appear, Macey crumbled to the ground, clutching her head in agony.
"You're not rid of me yet!" a voice inside her mind said, a voice very similar to her own. No, the same. They'd taken their battle from the Staran into her mind. Macey wasn't sure if that was better or worse. At least they couldn't injure the Staran further in here, right? All that could break was her mind... not as important for the fate of the world... she hoped.
