AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter One
Faye finished plaiting her hair and looked in the mirror with a sigh. One more day done. God knew how many more to go. Sometimes she didn’t think she’d be able to hold out any longer, but then there was always something that changed her mind. Now, it was her eldest sister’s surprise daughter. Fiona was unbelievably cute, but she made Faye’s heart ache in ways she didn’t want to spend too long thinking about. She wanted a family of her own so badly. But considering she couldn’t even touch her mate without feeling excruciating pain, it didn’t seem likely at any point soon. She’d talked to others about it, but the only people she knew who were mated but hadn’t touched for years were Eira and Josh, but they both said it’d never been painful. Which meant it was just her and Reese that had to deal with it this way.
Slowly, she regained her composure, leaving the bathroom and entering the bedroom they tortured themselves further by sharing. At least they had separate beds, she didn’t think she could avoid touching him if they shared.
He was standing there, looking as delicious and touchable as always. Which was part of the problem. She longed for him. Yearned for him even, but there was nothing she could do to actually make that yearning a reality. He’d never be able to run his hand down her back, even through clothing. He’d never be able to kiss her properly. They’d never be able to....
Faye shook her head, desperate to rid herself of the thoughts assailing her. They’d only grown worse since her sister, Mia, had met her mate. Watching the short affectionate touches she exchanged with Felix was almost as painful as any attempt to touch Reese.
“Faye,” he said softly. “Please stop torturing yourself.”
“I can’t,” she said, her voice almost breaking, and the tears threatening in the corners of her eyes.
“I just want to be able to touch you, to be with you.”
“I know. I feel it too. But I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” He reached out a hand, before dropping it back to his side, realising what he was doing. Their relationship had always been like this. Natural reactions to situations, followed by the swift realisation that they couldn’t go through with it.
“I know, but...” She glanced away, already hating how weak she felt about the whole thing. Why wasn’t she used to it? She’d have thought that after all this time she’d have realised they couldn’t have what normal couples did. There’d be no lingering kisses good night, or stray hand brushing against an arm and offering comfort. Nor would there be any of the true intimacy they needed.
And there’d never be a family. Well, she supposed that wasn’t true. They could always adopt, or have some kind of IVF, though if it would work on witches, she had no idea. But there’d never be a family that was just theirs. No child who was the perfect combination of her and Reese.
“Faye, please,” he begged, stepping forward despite the knowledge he couldn’t comfort her.
She shook her head and moved backwards, her back hitting the wall and her lip quivering with emotion. Here would be the perfect opportunity for a kiss, while he caged her against the wall and pushed himself against her.
She bit her lip, a soft whimper escaping. Why did she do this to herself? It wasn’t like it could go anywhere. And it wasn’t like she’d actually know what she was doing if they did go further. That was the big problem with having known her mate since they were both small. Well, and not being able to touch him. It didn’t exactly bode well for intimate moments. So she’d reached her twenties and was still pretty much clueless when it came to sex.
Unless she counted the times she touched herself in the middle of the night, imagining all the things Reese would do to her if he could. Or the things she hoped he would.
“What are you thinking, Faye?”
“Huh?” she responded instantly, taken aback by his question.
“What’s going through your pretty little head? You’re making sounds like you do when you think I’m asleep,” he teased, taking a step forward, crowding her against the wall and actually caging her there, just like she’d imagined him doing. She swallowed audibly, affected far more than she wanted to admit by his mere proximity.
“Erm...”
“Are you imaging the things I’d do to you, Faye?” he asked, his voice low and sultry. “You don’t have to imagine. I’m happy to tell you.”
“Oh.”
He leaned in close, his mouth hovering just next to her ear. She could feel his breath fanning over her skin, and longed for more. To feel his lips touch. Knowing that it wasn’t even a possibili
ty, only made her more aware of what was going on, and more desperate to actually do things. Damn, life really wasn’t fair.
“Come back to me, Faye,” he whispered. “You’ve gone away to worry, I can tell.”
“Sorry,” she murmured, looking up into his beautiful brown eyes. A lot of people found them a little unnerving, but that was just his bird side coming through. But she was used to it, and it hadn’t bothered her in years. If it ever actually had. She wasn’t completely convinced she had, it’d been that long since they’d met.
He lifted his hand so that it was hovering just next to her cheek, and she longed for him to close that gap, even if it would hurt. Especially because it would hurt. It would remind her of all the reasons why she shouldn’t allow things to get that far.
“Touch me,” she whispered, not regretting the words in the slightest. Worry clouded Reese’s eyes.
“Are you sure?” His voice was soft, kind of reverent. He always got like this when she asked him. And it was always her that asked him, not the other way around. She didn’t think it was because he didn’t want to. More that he was more conscious of what it actually cost them to touch. Or he just had more restraint than she did.
