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He moves on to the next team, leaving us to practise some more. I keep sneaking glances at Mathias in the guise of copying what he's doing, but in reality, I just want to look at him. Whether I want to or not, I'm missing him.
But I need to keep my distance or I'm going to end up getting myself hurt. He doesn't feel the same way about me as I do about him, that much is abundantly clear. I can't let myself fall any further for him. It's not worth the broken heart.
8
Exhaustion fills every part of me as I return to my room, it's almost enough to make me collapse completely. The special lesson in the grove earlier took it out of me, and that's without the lessons I've had since.
I slide my key into the lock and push my bedroom door open, wincing in pain as my arm is jolted again. It hasn't stopped aching ever since my scythe hit the ground. Hopefully, a hot shower and a good night's sleep will be enough to put it back to rights.
I enter the room and do my normal checks to make sure there hasn't been anyone unexpected in here.
Unlike normal, this time I spot a folded up piece of paper on the floor waiting for me. I frown. No one has mentioned having received a notice from the academy, but this is how they're normally delivered. It's probably nothing to worry about.
I lean down to pick it up, being careful to use my non-aching arm. I flip it open and scan the words scrawled on the page, horror flooding through me as the meaning sink in.
The Shadow Association has summoned me. I'm not sure what for, but given that last time they wanted me to make an oath that gave them control over me and any children I might have in the future, it probably isn't good.
My whole body shakes as the true meaning sinks in. Someone from the Association has been in the academy. I know they're capable of it, but being confronted with the knowledge makes it a lot more difficult to deal with that when it's just an abstract thing.
Without thinking twice about it, I grab my keys and run down the hall to Juliet's room. I don't want to be alone right now, even if it's only for long enough to calm down and start looking at things rationally again. There isn't anyone here now, and they're not threatening to me. It's just a request.
I don't knock and just enter without thinking twice about it.
"Hey Syxe," Tobias says as I step into the room. He's lounging on the bed, looking completely at home in the other reaper's room.
"Oh, sorry, I..."
"Juliet isn't here." He swings his feet around and sits up on the bed. "She'll be back soon though, she just had to go sort out a problem with one of the other students."
"I'll come back," I say, but I don't actually move.
He frowns. "Is everything all right?"
I bite my bottom lip, unsure what to say. I don't know Tobias as well as Juliet or Mathias, but the former isn't here, and the other isn't someone I want to seek comfort from right now. And not just because I'm a little scared of what I'm going to find if I go to his room.
"I got a note from the Shadow Association," I say. "It freaked me out." I pull out Juliet's desk chair and plop myself down into it.
"And you didn't want to be alone."
"No."
"Understandable. Want a coffee?" He gestures to Juliet's machine.
I nod.
"Why not go to Mathias? I thought the two of you were close?" He pops a mug under the spout and presses a series of buttons until the machine whirrs into life. "Not that Jules would mind you being here..."
I sigh. "I'm avoiding him."
"Ah, so he isn't imagining it," Tobias mutters.
"What?"
He sighs and pulls out the mug, offering it to me. "Mathia
s is worried you're mad at him."
"Oh." I take it from him, grateful for something to do.
