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Daisy smiled her thanks and walked into the drawing room, looking all about her and seeing only a few faces that she recognized. A few guests were standing in shadowy corners of the room, and she could not see their faces very clearly at all. Waiting for her sister to join her, Daisy put a polite smile on her face and glanced from one person to the next. She could see that some were looking at her and speaking very obviously about her to their companion, but she tried not to allow this to bring any color to her cheeks. Given the rumors that had been started, which had then been very strongly quashed by her appearance within London, this was to be expected.
Nevertheless, she was relieved when her sister and Lord Northgate came to join her. Throwing her sister a quick smile, Daisy let out a long breath and looked around the room as to whom they might go to speak with first.
“Lady Northgate,” said one older lady, coming towards them both but keeping her eyes fixed upon Daisy. “Do come and join us over here. We have much to speak to you about.” She gave a warm smile to Susanna and then to Daisy, but Daisy did not feel at all reassured. One glance behind the lady told Daisy that there were three others standing there in a small huddle, clearly eager to speak to Daisy and Susanna and, most likely, to discuss her absence from town for two years.
Lord Northgate cleared his throat. “If you will excuse me,” he murmured, throwing a quick wink in Daisy’s direction, telling her that she would be best to find a way to escape from this situation. “I have seen someone that I simply must speak to.”
“As have I,” Daisy said quickly, knowing that the invitation had not yet been given specifically to her and that she could still use this chance to escape. “Do excuse me, Susanna.” Giving her sister a quick smile and seeing the sharpness of Susanna’s gaze, Daisy blushed furiously and turned away, moving quickly towards the back of the room. She had no one specific to go to, of course, but she knew she had to find someone to speak to, so that the lady would not be insulted.
Her eyes roved around the room, her breath quickening as she saw not even a single person turn towards her. Many watched her, of course, but none spoke a word or even smiled a greeting. Beginning to panic, Daisy walked a little to her left and into the shadows in the corner of the room, hoping that she would be hidden from her sister and her new companions.
“Oh!”
Having turned her head to look back at Susanna, Daisy recoiled suddenly as she walked into something solid. A gentleman, it seemed, giving the way he murmured loudly in shock, saying something incomprehensible as he stumbled back, only to hit his back against the wall.
“I am terribly sorry,” Daisy stammered, feeling a little embarrassed. “I did not mean to…” Her eyes sought out the gentleman’s face, and, as she slowly saw him come into view, she felt the breath being stolen from her body and her words fading to nothing.
Lord Watt.
They said nothing to each other for what felt like minutes, staring at one another in apparent shock. Lord Watt was just as she remembered him. His shock of dark hair fell over his forehead, brushed to one side. His blue eyes were fixed upon hers, appearing darker what with the shadows all around him. The broad shoulders, his strong back, and the powerful arms that had once held her so tightly…it was all so familiar and yet so unknown.
“Lord Watt,” she rasped eventually, trying to find something to say. “You…you are here.” It was an entirely ridiculous statement, for it was quite apparent that Lord Watt was present this evening, but Daisy simply could not find something coherent to say. Her heart was pounding furiously now as she twisted her fingers in front of her, aware that silence was all the response she was, apparently, to get from Lord Watt. “I-I did not know that you would be present this evening.”
Lord Watt said nothing still, just watching her with eyes that held nothing but sorrow and pain. Daisy felt heat climb up into her face, not at all certain what she ought to do next. Should she turn away and leave him standing here alone? Was it that he was unwilling to speak to her? Had he wanted to give her the cut direct but had been unable to? A sense of shame began to creep over her, as she recalled all that had once been between them and how, after her father’s death, she had done nothing to reach out to him. She had been lost in confusion and in grief for a long time, but once she had pushed through that fog, she could easily have written to him, to explain that she could not continue with their acquaintance at the present. Instead, she had done nothing and, having not heard from him either, had considered that they were both contented with things as they now stood.
Except her heart had not quite managed to let him go.
“Miss Williams.”
Hearing her name on his lips sent a shudder through her. It held none of the warmth, none of the delight or the happiness that she had once been so used to. Instead, he spoke to her as though she were nothing more than a stranger.
“Good evening,” he said, his voice low and gruff. “You have returned to society, it seems.”
“I have.” Daisy searched his face, wondering if she had been correct in hearing the slight edge of malice in his voice. “I am sure you can understand that my sorrow and distress over the death of my father was a heavy burden to bear. I was in London last Season, I confess, but I was not at all ready to mingle with the beau monde.” A challenge entered her words, as though she felt the need to defend herself. She could not, of course, tell him the truth about her return to society this year, but still, she did not want him to treat her cruelly.
Lord Watt cleared his throat and looked away, appearing a little abashed. “Of course,” he said, much more quietly than before. “I cannot imagine what you have endured.” His eyes returned to hers, his lips pulled thin. “I heard that you, too, had been lost.”
“Lost?” She frowned, hard, before realizing what he meant. Her heart suddenly quailed within her, making her realize that Lord Watt might have been taken in by the rumors which could very well explain his shock upon seeing her. “Yes, I have heard of the rumors, Lord Watt. They are entirely false.”
Silence descended on them once more. Lord Watt did nothing but look at her, as though he wanted to make himself believe that she truly was present, that she truly was standing in front of him—and it was all Daisy could do to hold his gaze. Her heart was beating quicker and quicker, her breathing becoming a little ragged as an air of anticipation began to sweep around her—although what she was anticipating, she could not say. Lord Watt dropped his head and rubbed at his forehead with his hand, letting out such a long and pronounced breath that Daisy felt as though she could almost feel his torment through it.
“I am sorry,” she said, not quite certain what she was specifically apologizing for. “I know there has been a good deal of trouble, and we have been split apart, but I—”
“Please, do not trouble yourself.” The hardness had returned to Lord Watt’s voice, as he lifted his head again, his eyes a little narrowed. “We are nothing more than acquaintances now, Miss Williams, which is clearly
what you have desired for some time. I will not speak of the past nor beg of you to discuss certain matters with me.” His smile was tight, and no light entered his eyes. “We will greet each other and perhaps pass the dullest of conversation now and again, but there is nothing more between us, Miss Williams.” Bowing, he made to move past her, only to stop and turn back towards her. “Although I will not pretend that I am not glad to know that those rumors have come to nothing,” he finished, not quite looking at her. “Good evening, Miss Williams.”
“Good evening,” she whispered, wrapping both arms around herself in an attempt to stave off the chill that had suddenly caught her. The air seemed to be a little more clammy now, the color fading from all around her. Her heart was pounding, but her stomach was roiling with anxiety. It had been a shock to see Lord Watt again, but the coldness that had filled his final few words had chilled her completely. There was a dull pain there, deep within her heart. It was beginning to spread further through her, growing in intensity as she continued to watch Lord Watt walk away from her. A part of her was desperate for him to turn around, desperate for him to look back at her, so that he might acknowledge her again. The way he had left her made her feel as though there was never to be anything between them again, not even an ounce of friendship. What there had once been was gone for good, it seemed, and until this very moment, Daisy had not known that she had cared. She had not known that she wanted him to return to her, wanted him to acknowledge her again. And yet his parting from her seemed to tear her apart, limb from limb.
“Daisy?”
She was pulled from her unexpected agony by the sound of her sister’s voice, cheerful and delighted in a way that was so opposed to what she felt. Turning slowly, feeling as though everything within her was weak and tired, Daisy forced herself to smile wanly as Susanna approached with an older lady walking beside her. This evening would continue regardless of what she felt. She could not allow anyone to know of her feelings for Lord Watt, of her confusion and her struggle, even though it had come upon her so quickly. Daisy forced herself to remember her task at hand, forced herself to recall what she was meant to be doing. This was all an act; she was just playing a part. The ton had to believe that she was seeking a husband and eager to wander through all of society in search of the perfect match. And that meant greeting anyone her sister thought important.
Her thoughts on Lord Watt would have to wait to be considered until another time.
Chapter Six
“Watt? You look quite tormented.”
